Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

Аннотация

In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washingto made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predictwith more than 90 percent accuracywhether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans share this vital information so that couples can develop the skills to turn their relationship problems around and create strong, lasting unions.What emerged from the Gottmans collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice thats based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problemsextramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacyand examine what theyve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Giving an insiders view of the Love Lab, the Gottmans take the reader step-by-step through the couples conversations, before and after they are counseled. The authors also provide an analysis of the couples interactions, identifying their core problems and offering suggestions for resolving them. By listening to the discussions in this way, you will learn to detect the most common stumbling blocks of a relationship andmost importanthow to avoid them. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one thats headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.From inside the famed Gottman Institute, aka the Love Lab: ten scientifically proven, practical ways to strengthen your marriageWe dont feel close anymore.You never talk to me.We only have time for the kids. All you do is work.You dont care about my dreams.Do you recognize yourself, or your spouse, in any of these statements? If so, Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, say you shouldnt be surprised. In fact, their decades of scientific research have shown that most couples face these and other serious problemsbut what the Gottmans have proven is that such difficulties dont have to lead to a broken relationship, or even divorce.In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans provide vital toolsscientifically based and empirically verifiedthat you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. Youll strengthen your relationship and make it the most fulfilling it can be.From the Hardcover edition.