Measuring Up

never been with me. When she looks at him, you see how much she loves him. She sees more than his chair in a way Mom will never see more than my weight.

There are so many times they talk about Tegan where it would be so easy for me to ask about him. To try and find out which Tegan is real. I’m sure I can even

find out what they did the other day, but I don’t. None of it feels right.

A good two hours pass before Tegan’s mom’s cell phone rings and they let her know the van is ready. On autopilot I slump back in my chair. Not only do I not

want to go home, I haven’t called Em yet.

“Do you need a ride home?” Tim’s eyes are wide, excited when he asks.

The urge to say yes almost overpowers me. “I’m going to call my friend to pick me up. Thanks anyway.”

“Are you sure? Any girl who gives my brother a black eye is a friend of mine.”

My cheeks heat. “It was an accident! I swear I didn’t mean to hit him.” My eyes find Dana, but she’s only laughing.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. I’m sure he deserved it. Plus, he was pretty proud of that black eye.” She answers.

“Proud?”

“Yep. You made him proud. He couldn’t stop bragging about the girl who gave him a right hook.”

My breath catches. I don’t think she notices because suddenly she’s hugging me goodbye. I hug her back tightly, wondering what it would feel like for Mom to

give me hugs this strong.

“Thanks for hanging out with us.” She winks at me and then she and Tim are gone.

***

I’m lying in bed, my room dark. I’ve been trying to go to sleep for hours, but it’s just not happening. I roll to the left and think about Tegan, how he doesn’t like to talk about his brother. The family that obviously loves him and who, by the way they were talking, they’re all incredibly close.

About how his mom said he couldn’t stop talking about me, even though it was only about my punch.

Roll to the right and I think about her hug. How accepting she was to me, even though we hardly know each other. She hugged me the way Dad does.

On my back I think about Mom. How much I embarrass her. It kills me to embarrass her. I don’t understand why, when she doesn’t even care enough to have

thanked me for helping today. She asked why I disappeared, easily accepted my lie about Em and then went on and on about the pageant she wants me to have

nothing to do with.

When my phone vibrates on my bedside table, I jump. Rolling over I pick it up. It’s a text, but I don’t know the number.

Hey. It’s Tegan.

Why is he texting me? Why do my hands shake when I reply? Hey.

I’m sorry for being an ass.

It’s not okay. My bravery makes me smile.

I’m glad… meet me tomorrow? Same time, same place. I promise to show up this time.

Meet him? I don’t know if I can… I don’t know if I can’t. I want to know more about him and for some reason, I want him to know more about me too. How do I

know you’re not going to ditch me?

I’l be there. Scouts honor. The question is, wil you?

It takes me ten minutes to reply. Yes.

Chapter Eight

A JOGGING WE WILL GO

To my surprise, Tegan stands next to a beat up Honda Accord when I pull up in front of Let’s Get Physical, smoothie in hand. This time, I’m not early. Who cares

if I had to park around the corner and wait until I could drive up at the exact right time?

I pretend to fiddle with my bag to buy myself a minute. This time our jog is really going to happen and it freaks me out. Makes me realize a part of me was glad he didn’t show last time.

When I look up, Tegan is standing right by my window. He taps his wrist and I get out of the car. “What? We’re not jogging from here are we?” The thought of

people out for their morning coffee seeing my jigglies is not my idea of fun.

“No, get in. I’m driving.” He’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt, his elusive tattoo still hiding from view.

I glance at my car and back at him. It’s not like I mind him driving, but like I said, this isn’t the best side of town so I’m a little nervous about leaving my car here.

“It’ll be okay, princess. Don’t worry about it. I already told Kim to keep an eye out for you, not that I need to.”

I bite my cheeks so I don’t smile. Reaching over, I grab my backpack and water bottle, lock up and walk over to his car. My backpack is strategically in front of me, which is lame. I can’t hide behind it and I’m not sure why I’m trying.

My pack follows me to my lap when I sit in the passenger side. I wrap my arms around it, holding it tight. A second later, Tegan’s behind the wheel.

“I’m not going to bite, ya know. You’d think you were the one who almost got knocked out with how freaked out you look over there.”

It happens automatically and I don’t realize I’ve playfully smacked his arm until I've already done it. “I didn’t almost knock you out. Stop making me feel bad.”

“Whatever you say, Rocky.” He looks at me and winks, exactly the way his mom did before pulling away.

We’re both quiet. So quiet I fear he might hear my stomach growl. I skipped breakfast this morning, a major no-no on Tegan’s list. I really don’t get that breakfast is the most important meal of the day crap. “Where are we going?” His tattooed arm is his left so even though I’m pretty sure his sleeve is high enough that I should be able to see it, I can’t because it faces his window.

“Right outside of town. There are some trails people jog on. It’s real secluded except for the joggers. If you keep going there’s a little park out there too. Not real big. Just some picnic tables and stuff. That cool?”

“Um, yeah. Secluded sounds good to me.”

Tegan turns his head a little, giving me a really wicked smile. “If you wanted to be alone with me, you just had to ask.”

“I-!” have no idea what to say… “You are so conceited!”

“I’m just giving you crap. You make it way too easy. I’m trapped in that gym most of my life and the other girls aren’t nearly as fun as you.”

My stomach starts to feel queasy and it has nothing to do with skipping out on breakfast. Today he’s the light, sarcastic Tegan. “I’m sure I make a much easier

mark than them.”

He squints his eyes, trying to figure out what I mean and then says, “Hey. That’s not what I meant, A

with the rest of them. I need a little fun in my life.”

Butterflies chase away the nausea. Who knew butterflies could be so fierce? Right now, mine are, because I think he just admitted something that might not have

been too easy for him. I shrug and smile. “Thanks?” How stupid. I sound like I’m asking him. “I mean, thanks. Me, too.”

He laughs. “You don’t have to lie. I know you’re pissed at me half the time. Especially when I ask you somewhere and don’t show up…”

I don’t know what to say to that so I don’t say anything. We’re quiet the rest of the way. It doesn’t take long before Tegan’s pulling his car into an almost deserted lot. The grass behind it is a vivid green and well-trimmed. Little hills dance across the distance, nothing major, but they definitely add to the visual. Trees provide shade, but it’s not overbearing. I don’t feel like I’m Grisly Adams in the forest or anything. “How did I not know this place was here?”

We get out of the car. “It’s pretty much for joggers or bikers. I mean, everyone can come, but not many people do.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Yep. It’s one of my favorite places. We’ll see if you still like it after we’re done today.” Tegan winks at me, before grabbing something out of his trunk and

tossing it at me. Luckily I catch it.

“Geez, warn a girl. You could have poked my eye out.”

“As opposed to punching it?”

“Whatever.” I look at what he handed me. It’s some kind of breakfast bar. I raise my eyebrows at him. What is this guy, psychic or something?