Measuring Up

my eyes are wet, I still open my mouth and say, “You broke me, Tegan.”

He runs a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face and I see his eyes are wet. Wet with unshed tears like mine.

But it wasn’t all his fault, was it? “I thought you were perfect.”

“I know. I’m so far from perfect it’s not even fu

“And you shouldn’t be. It wasn’t fair for me to see you that way. You’d said it so many times about my mom, Em, me. No one is perfect. We all screw up, but I

wanted—no, I needed you to be perfect because I saw myself as such a mess.” I clear my throat, hoping to stall, knowing my words are true, even though I didn’t

know it until right this second. “Even if you didn’t break up with me then, somehow, we would have fallen apart.”

Tegan turns on the curb to look at me. His eyes are red. There’s none of his cockiness there. Nothing between us. “No, I love you. We broke up because I

screwed up.”

“No, we would have regardless, because I needed you. It shouldn’t be like that. Love should be love. Want should be want. You can love someone with all your

heart. They can be your heart, but you have to be able to stand on your own and I couldn’t.” These words hurt so much, but they’re freeing too.

“You never needed me, you just thought you did.”

There is my truth. I thought I needed him, but I didn’t. The only person I need is myself. It took losing him to know how to stand on my own. Now—now I know

that regardless of my weight or who my boyfriend is, my friends are, or how anyone else feels about me, I really do measure up. I know how to stand tall and the

amazing part is, he does too. I was his crutch as well, I just didn’t know it. “I know. Now, I know that I didn’t need you.”

Tegan smiles at me. The first real smile he’s given me today. “I needed you too. I don’t anymore, but…I want you.” I shiver when his hand slides through my

hair. “I missed this, how soft your hair is.”

“I missed you too.” My eyes are closed and I’m leaning into his hand.

When he speaks again, his voice is so soft, soft, but strong, firm in what he says. “You’re so beautiful, A

“I’m proud of you too.”

“Open your eyes, please.” There’s so much heartache in his voice, that I can’t help but do what he asks.

“Maybe I don’t deserve to ask you this, but I’m going to anyway. I want another chance. I want us to be together, with nothing in between us. No need, no pain,

hurt, fear. I want us together because we want to be. Because we love each other. I’ll never leave you again.”

It takes me a couple minutes before I can find my voice. He loves me. He wants to get back together with me. And I want that. We both want that. Not need.

There’s a huge difference there. It’s like the air between us is clean. It’s always been pure, because we’ve always really loved each other, but now we’re ready to be in love. Ready to be together. “I missed jogging with you. I missed talking to you. I missed your big head. I love you too and I want to be with you so much it hurts.”

My words are cut off by his mouth. I still know his movements so well. Know when to give, know when he’s going to take. I fall backward in the grass, Tegan

leaning over me, tasting me deeply. Too soon, the kiss is over.

“I love you, A

“I love you, Tegan Edgar Collins.”

“Want go to back to my apartment? I bet my mom and brother are still gone—ouch. Good to see you still hit.”

“Good to see you’re still a pervert.”

He stands, and pulls me to my feet. “Okay, so plan number two. We go finish the rest of Timmy’s game, and then go get physical.”

I smack his arm again.

“Ouch! I meant go for a jog! You know, for old time’s sake. Who’s the pervert now?”

I shake my head and grab his hand. “Come on. Let’s go.” It’s not him setting the pace and me trying to catch up or vice versa. We walk away together, equal.

The End

Acknowledgement:

As always a big thanks to my hubby and children. I love you all so much. To my Trio of awesomeness: Jolene Perry, Wendy Higgins, and Kelley York. Anyone

who pre-read A

Also, to any and all readers who have given any of my books a chance. That means the world to me.

About the Author:

Writing has always been Nyrae Dawn’s passion. There have been times in her life where she wasn’t able to chase that dream the way she desired, but she always found her way back to telling stories.

One of her loves has always been writing about teens. There’s something so fresh and fun about the age that she loves exploring. Her husband says it’s because she doesn’t want to grow up. She doesn’t think that’s such a bad thing and luckily for her, he doesn’t either.

Nyrae gravitates toward character-driven stories. She loves going on emotional journeys with characters whether it be reading or writing. And yes, she’s a total romantic at heart and proud.

Nyrae resides in su

When she’s not with her family, you can be pretty sure you’ll find her with a book in her hand or her laptop and an open document in front of her.