Measuring Up

“You need to eat to lose weight. Just make sure it’s healthy. Plus, you need energy before we head out.”

“How’d you…”

“I didn’t, but thanks for confirming my suspicion.”

This boy is too much! I feel all upside down and backward around him. But the surprising part is, I kind of enjoy it. Not that I’d ever admit it to him. “You suck.”

Before he can reply I turn so my back is to him and start eating the stupid bar. I hear a package open, telling me he’s eating one as well. Tegan offers to take my water bottle for me and before I know it, he’s leading me to a path to begin our run. My heart beats about a million miles an hour. My palms are already sweaty and I’m really starting to doubt my own sanity for coming out here with him.

As always, Tegan seems to know. He stops me when we get to the path. “Hey.” I turn to face him. He steps toward me and I don’t know why, but I gasp. He’s so

close the butterflies are back in my belly. Why is he so close? His arms reach toward me and I swear I feel like I might pass out and then he’s rubbing my arms up and down like my dad would before a pep talk or something. Boys have such an ability to screw with a girl’s head. What did I think he would do?

“Relax, Rocky. You’re going to knock this out just like you did me.”

Why does he insist on bringing this up?

“We’re going to take it slow. Jog a bit, walk, jog some more. No biggie. Got it?”

“Got it.” And then he’s not touching me anymore and jogging away. I ignore the rapid fire beat of my heart and join him. Neither of us talk as we make our way

down the path at a slow pace. I’m distinctly aware of him beside me, those soulful eyes of his looking forward. Speaking of forward, maybe I should be looking there too.

So I do. I face the front, trying to focus on nature around us when really all I’m paying attention to is the way our feet pound against the ground to a shared beat.

Bump, bump, bump, bump. Our breaths mingle; his mine, his mine. Our own music, and we’re playing together without trying. It’s then I realize, I like the tune.

Maybe a little too much.

“You doing okay over there, A

“Yep.” And I am. Sure I feel a little out of breath, and my legs are starting to plead with me to give them a break, but it’s not overbearing. It actually feels kind of good.

“Told you, you had this. We’ll go a little longer, slow it down to a fast walk and then pick it up again.”

This time I only nod in reply. I’m back to our music. The slight rustle of the air in the trees adding a wind section. The way my heart drums, urging me on because this crazy wild rhythm is good for it. And as lame and cheesy as it sounds, it feels freeing. I keep going, keep my focus until Tegan’s elbow nudges me.

“Let’s take it down a notch.”

When he says a notch, that’s exactly what he means. This isn’t a leisurely stroll.

“You were out there. I’d like to see you tell me you aren’t enjoying this. I mean, of course you’re enjoying it because I’m here, but the jog too—”

That earns him a sharp smack on the arm. “Ouch!”

“You deserved that. We need to take you down a notch.”

Tegan turns so he’s walk/jogging backward, looking at me. “You like it. Admit you like me teasing you.”

“Admit it, you’re always fishing for compliments.”

“If I admit it, will you?”

“I admit nothing.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

It takes a minute to realize what’s going on here. Are we flirting? It’s such a strange concept. I’ve never flirted in my life. Maybe that’s not what this is. And if it is, it’s because Tegan is like that. Kind of flirty. And me? Well I guess I’m getting hypnotized by our music.

“Break over.” Before I have a chance to comprehend what he said, he’s jogging away and I’m ru

somehow find a new burst of energy and also because he slows down for me. We continue on the path doing our walk/jog thing and before I know it, we’ve made a

loop and we’re almost back to the car.

There’s a burning tingle ru

“We’re almost there. Push a little bit more and I’m done torturing you for the day. I swear.”

As soon as we make it back to the car, I collapse in the grass. I’m too tired to care how it looks. The air fights to escape me, but I reel it in, taking deep, long breaths until they smooth into a steady rhythm.

Like he’d just woken up from a nap, Tegan hands me my water and sits next to me. He has his hands latched, arms around his legs, feet on the ground in a totally

relaxed position. Jerk.

But it’s then I realize he just helped me see something I’ve been way too curious about. The sleeve of his shirt is high enough that I see his sculpted arm and the tattoo on it. It’s some kind of symbol. I’m not sure what it means, but then there’s a name under it too.

Timmy.

He has a tattoo of his brother’s name. It’s cool in so many ways, but gives me a ton of questions too. He’s so hush, hush when it comes to his brother that the

declaration on his arm surprises me.

My heart is no longer beating crazily. It’s buried somewhere in my feet.

“Are you checking me out?” he asks, a smile in his voice, only I can’t reply. I keep staring at the tattoo. All the dark swirly lines of the design. Each small letter spelling out Timmy’s name. Wow… I feel like I’m going to be sick, even though it makes no sense.

“What?” he looks down. “Oh. It means brothers and the other is forever.”

“That’s cool. I like it.”

Tegan pushes his hair out of his face. The tense Tegan is back. He’s quiet and I’m quiet because I don’t know if I should say anything or not. The air around us is thick. It’s probably only eight, but I’m feeling hot and not sure it has anything to do with the run I just took. There’s something about him that does crazy things to me.

I wish I knew how he did it.

It could have been a minute or an eternity before he talks again. It’s hard to tell. “You hung out with my family yesterday.” He looks at me and there’s something different in his eyes. It’s not the playfulness, the cockiness or the tenseness. It takes me a moment to realize what it is. It’s vulnerability and it steals my breath. So much so I can only nod in reply.

“And you didn’t ask about me. Didn’t fish for answers. Didn’t mention I bailed on you. You just…hung out. Like you wanted to.”

There’s something that sounds like awe in his voice, like I did something exceptional or something. I’m not exceptional. I’m just me. “Umm, yeah. It was fun. Tim beat me at cards and your mom is incredible.”

Another long silence.

“Are they why you’re here right now?”

His question confuses me. Little sound bites of our fight pops into my head. When he asked if having a crippled brother excused him. Does he think I’m here

because I feel sorry for him? “No… But I’m still mad at you, too. I mean, there’s a part of me who gets it, but another who thinks it’s not too much to ask that you picked up a phone.”

He turns his head, still sitting in that relaxed position and looks at me. I shiver. He’s so beautiful. I shouldn’t think that, but I do.

“But you’re still here?” There’s so much behind his question that I don’t understand, but hear it all the same.

“I’m still here.” My reply matches the question in his.

A car pulls up in the lot behind us. Just a second later a bike zips by. People are starting to show up and I hadn’t noticed. Tegan stands. “Come on. Let’s go for a walk.” He holds out his hand which is all sorts of strange. I mean, sweet, but strange. I’ve never had a boy do that before. It reminds me of a movie or something, but I push those thoughts away and let him help me up. When he lets go, I miss his touch.