Myth-Chief

"How could you, Skeeve?" Tananda asked, woe in her dark green eyes. "Attacking someone you don't even know. It's just so unlike you."

"It's unlike me because it wasn't me! I mean, I thought about it. Who wouldn't, after everything started to go wrong with our plans?"

"Your plans went wrong because you set them all up wrong," Aahz said, with grim glee. "Everything I ever taught you about exploiting a situation to the fullest, you seem to have forgotten. Sitting in that i

The whistle called timeout on our argument again.

"Enough with the personal remarks," Bu

"No offense," Aahz said.

"I didn't sabotage anything," I said. "How can I prove that? I can't prove a negative. Look, I have been with Massha, Nunzio, Chumley, or Hermalaya almost every minute I haven't been in here."

Chumley raised a forefinger. "I say, he's right, but it doesn't take long to upset the apple cart, what? I have to be fair, Skeeve, old boy. I know you did dash in and out a few times. I'd be very disappointed if you were going off to interfere with the other side, what?"

I felt more alone than I had ever been before. "I don't know how I can convince you. I didn't do anything wrong. You have to believe me. I give you my word I wasn't involved in anything Aahz did failing."

Aahz was gloating. "If that's your story, then I didn't do anything wrong, either."

"All right, all right," Bu

stay away from the other. You don't interfere in what the other one is doing. You don't go near each other anywhere except here. Any conversations you have from now until the end of this contest will be held in front of witnesses, preferably in this office. Any more bad behavior means you automatically concede the contest to your opponent. Do I make myself clear?"

Very grudgingly, I choked out a yes. So did Aahz.

"Good. Both of you go away. You've been in here too long. Help your clients. Stay out of trouble. That's all. Beat it." Bu

We all looked at each other. Aahz gave me a smirk.

BAMF! He, Matfany, Tananda, and Guido disappeared.

I regretted the day I gave him that D-hopper.

TWENTY-EIGHT

"Mister Aahz, I have to say I believed your colleague, Skeeve," Matfany said. We were following an indignant foreman, or really fore-Salamander, Pintubo, and his fire-proofed Reynardan escort back to the damaged displays in the hills to get a good look at them. "His countenance did not seem like one who dissembles, and as an administrator I must say I see my share of dishonest faces."

I growled without looking at him. The uphill slog was complicated by thick, cementlike mud on the path that was building up under my feet like platform shoes.

"I believed him, too," Tananda said, tripping along lightly. "I might have jumped to a conclusion back there. It's not the first time Skeeve has been i

"I don't want to hear it," I said. "The kid knows I put a spoke in his wheels, and he got back at me. Big deal. It's over."

"Unless he didn't," Guido said. "You gotta look at the bigger picture. More people than Skeeve don't like what we're doin' here."

He aimed a meaty thumb backward. We weren't the only people on the mountain path. Some of the mote determined protesters were following us, at a distance enforced by a whole troop of the castle guards. By then, the towns-folk were using their signs as staffs to help them up the steep slope, but they were determined to let us know that they weren't happy with the status quo—as they knew it. I realized we had let slide an important facet of improving Matfany's image.

"We have to give the people an update when we get to the top," I said. "We're doing all kinds of publicity, but no public relations "

"And what will that involve?" Matfany asked.

"A speech," I said. "By you. Start thinking about bullet points: how you are doing your best for the country, how what's happening up here is beneficial to them, and how tourism is going to start coming back. It's already happening."

I spoke with confidence, because I had been keeping up with the hoteliers in the resort. All of them reported bookings from a dozen dimensions, including some large tour groups I had made a mental note of which ones had the fewest rooms left to rent, with an idea toward sending auditors in to scan the books. I figured I could count taxes the hotels and i

The prime minister considered the request gravely.

"I believe I can do that."

I expanded on my topic. "Don't forget, you have to stress that things are only better because you took over. That Pixie-headed princess of yours threw the whole country into a financial crisis on top of your environmental disaster. But you're the one pulling it all out again. Get it?"

'Now, just a minute, sir'" Matfany said, coming to a halt. "I have asked you not to lay tongue to our monarchy!"

"Only if they really need a licking," I leered at him. He looked shocked. "Look. People might like the fact that money is coming in, but no one can get past the idea that you threw the royal house out and took over. If you don't get people on your side pronto, you're not going to be a popular ruler when the crisis is over. I don't want you to have to keep looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. Hermalaya may have been featherbrained, but people liked her. It's go

Matfany looked glum. "I know it, sir. I am just about ready to go back on bended knee and ask her to return."

"No!" I roared. The force of my voice knocked him back about five paces.

"Why, Mister Aahz, why ever not?"

"She's the reason you had a problem, isn't it?"

"Well, sir, of course she's not," Matfany said. His face softened from its usual stern expression. "It was the bugs that caused all the problems. She kinda made things light up. really. She cheered people up even when it was really bad. Even me."

"Aw," Tananda said, throwing her arms around him. "I get what's going on here. You had to send her away because you're in love with her, aren't you?"

"Ma'am!" Matfany exclaimed, taken aback. "I do not appreciate having my feelings discussed in public."

"We're not in public," Tanda said, cuddling into his arm and looking up at him. I'd seen men made of stone melt at that look. "Is it true?"

"'What has that got to do with public relations'" I growled.

"Nothing," Tananda said, with a grin. "It has a lot more to do with private relations. Matfany, what would you do if you didn't have the kingdom to consider?"

The prime minister pulled away from her. "Ma'am, my whole life is service to the throne!"

By now, even I could see he was evading the question. If I hadn't been fixed on the job at hand, I might even have had some sympathy for him.

"Forget it," I said. "We're there. Hi, guys! Great to see you."

We had been met by not only the Geek and some of his business partners, but the entire Salamander workforce, all of them bright orange-red hot, and boiling mad.

Salamanders are small but dangerous beings from a dimension called Salamagundi. They like to visit other places because they're social by nature. Trouble is. they can set almost anything on fire just by touching it, which makes having one for a houseguest a real pain in the posterior, Gus, our Gargoyle buddy who worked in the Golden Crescent I