Myth-Chief

"Toned down" in Matfany's terms, or even my terms, came nowhere even in the same ballpark with the Geek's, but the whorls, flourishes and fancy typography had been reduced by over three-quarters of the mountainside. Within the newly defined borders, I could see wild streaks and black burns, evidence of Salamanders being surprised by something.

"Look at that!" Pintubo shrieked in his shrill little voice, waving his tiny forefoot upward. "Hazardous conditions! My lizards don't have to work like this."

"Right!" the miniature crowd of Salamanders cried.

"What do we want?"

"Safety harnesses!"

"When do we want them?"

"NOW!"

"But you guys can melt yourselves into solid stone," I said, interrupting the chanting. "There's no reason you should be falling off. That's not even a vertical slope."

"It's some kind of magic!" the forelizard said. "Either you fix it or we're going on strike. We'll take down the other displays around town, too."

"If they do, we'll sue," Gribaldi said. He was a large, meaty Deveel with a sloping forehead on which black eye-brows grew thick enough to lose an antelope in. "You agreed that we get to advertise our sponsorship."

"I know," I said. "Look, Pintubo, try it again. I just had a confab with the master wizard who was interfering, and he said he won't do it anymore. Give it a try."

The tiny lizards swarmed up the cliff face and moved into position. At a signal from Pintubo, they started racing around in their designated circuits. I had to admit that the effect was pretty darned impressive. The hot orange dots seemed to blur into lines. The mountainside above us began to blink on and off. The Geek. The Geek. The Geek.

I put my arms around the shoulders of the Geek and Gribaldi.

"Pretty darned impressive, huh? No more accidents."

"All right," the Geek said, grudgingly. "As long as it doesn't happen again."

"It won't," I promised him. "We're all going to be one big, happy family from now on."

TWENTY-NINE

That problem was solved. Too bad there was no easy solution to the cranky crowd that now surged around us. I had thought at first there were only a few dozen, but hundreds, even thousands of Swamp Foxes had made the hike up the steep path to make their displeasure known.

I had to hand it to Matfany. He never flinched. He hopped up on a handy rock, stuck his thumb in the lapel of his coat, and addressed them.

"Good people of Foxe-Swampburg, I am happy to see you all. I want to talk to you today about our nation's prosperity. We have had some hard times in the past. In that light, some hard decisions had to be made by me so that our nation could survive. Our resources were few, so I enlisted the help of some kindly folks to help us get back on our feet." He opened a hand toward us. When the baleful eyes of the Swamp Foxes turned our way, I wished that he hadn't. Nothing like an angry mob to make you start to look for the exit.

"What are you going to do about that eyesore behind you?" a passionate female voice demanded.

"This fine exhibition is part of our recovery," Matfany said. "We have to welcome new partners into our midst for at least a time. I hope you will embrace them as I have. It is all for the benefit of our fine country. I hope to lead you into a prosperous future in which we can hold our heads high and stand proudly beside our neighbors. It is my contention that Foxe-Swampburg will return to being a kind and welcoming place for visitors ..."

SPLAT! Streamers of stinking goo sprayed all over me and Guido. Someone in the crowd had thoughtfully brought along a basket of decayed vegetables. I backed up until I could feel the cliff face at my back.

"Mention Hermalaya," I hissed.

"Ah, yes," Matfany said, straightening his glasses. "It may take you some time to get used to the new form of government here in our nation, but it is for the best. My cabinet and I have your best interests in mind. You are welcome to send queries and concerns to my office. I am especially interested in hearing where problems need to be addressed."

"What about the princess?" I hissed.

"Some of you have voiced your displeasure at the absence of Princess Hermalaya. I am afraid her actions did not fit in with survival of our nation for the future."

"But she's our princess!" a lone voice cried out.

"That is beside the point," Matfany said, sternly. "I am your prime minister! I have been ru

They cowered back, filled with fear, until someone raised a copy of The Princess's Diary.

"Yes! Yes, we are! Hermalaya loved us! We want her back!"

That broke the logjam.

"Yes! Yes!'" they began to chant. "Bring hack our princess. Down with Matfany! Down with Matfany!" My worst nightmare loomed as the crowd started to surge toward us

Suddenly, the Salamanders began to fall off the sign above our heads.

The bright orange lizards landed on the rioting Swamp Foxes, who howled and leaped around, bellowing with pain. The Salamanders, trying to scramble to safety, accidentally set fur and signs on fire. The protesters forgot all about us in their rush to put out the blazes. I pulled back into an overhang out of the rain of fire. Pervects have tough skin, but fire is one thing that can destroy us. My companions crowded in after me. Outside, the Deveels ran in circles, howling about their precious advertising. For the moment, no one was thinking about us.

"That saved our bacon." I said. "I gotta hand it to Skeeve for timing."

"Skeeve's not doing that," Tananda said. "He would never hurt Salamanders."

"Then who?" Guido asked. "Show me the magicians causing the cascade. If they are not in a concealed place, I am sure I can pick them off from here."

She looked up at the sky. I knew she was reading force lines. Since I had lost my powers I could no longer see them. "No one is pulling magik out of there. This is a natural phenomenon of some kind."

We heard a gentle cough behind us to attract our attention.

"It's the Old Folks," Matfany said, squeezed into the rear of the niche. "I told you they don't like people messing up their mountains and things."

The force of Salamanders gathered up their injured members and assembled in a group at the base of the Geek's sign.

"That's it!" Pintubo squeaked indignantly at me. "We quit! This dimension is too dangerous for us to work! We are out of here! You'll be hearing from our legal representative! He'll burn you up!" They flashed out of existence.

"Hey, Aahz, I warned you!" Gribaldi said, coming over to shake his fist at me. "We've had enough. You had better give us our money back."

"No!" I exclaimed. "Put up something else, anything! Your choice. I always thought Salamanders were a bad idea. How about Shutterbug photos? You could have your picture up here, too."

"No more," Matfany said. He poked a fingernail at the Deveel's collarbone. "We are not having Deveels leering down at us from up here. You can put your names up in a more genteel fashion. Some of my folks have been out of work for a while. They'd be pleased to have the jobs. I don't want to have to make it a law to use local labor, but I will if I have to."

The assembled Swamp Foxes were outraged. "We won't work for them. And we don't want you! We want our princess back!"

They started to chant again.

"Bring back our princess! Bring back our princess!"

Something whizzed past me and impacted on the stone face at my side. It was a rock. They had run out of vegetables, but they weren't out of missiles.