Mything Persons

Chapter Two:

"Success often hinges on choosing a

reliable partner."

—REMUS

"WHAT'S that?" Guido demanded, taking advantage of

our stu

"It's a door," I said.

"An open door, to be specific," Aahz supplied.

"I can see that for myself!" the bodyguard roared. "I

meant what is it doing here?"

"It would look pretty silly standing alone in the mid-

dle of the street now, wouldn't it?" Aahz shot back.

Guido purpled. As I've said, these two have a positive

talent for getting under each other's skins.

"Now look, all I'm askin'...."

"Guido, could you just hang on for a few minutes

until we decide what to do next? Then we'll explain, I

promise."

My mind was racing over the problem, and having

Aahz and Guido going at each other did nothing for my

concentration.

"I think the first thing we should do, partner," Aahz

11

12 Robert Asprin

said thoughtfully, "is to get the door closed so that we

won't be... interrupted while we work this out."

Rather than answer, I reached out a cautious toe and

pushed the door shut. Aahz quickly slipped two of the

bolts in place to secure it.

That done, we leaned against the door and looked at

each other in silence.

"Well? What do you think?" I asked at last.

"I'm in favor of sealing it up again and forgetting the

whole thing."

"Think it's safe to do that?"

"Don't know, really. Not enough information."

We both turned slowly to level thoughtful stares at

Guido.

"Say, uh, Guido, could you tell us a little more about

those customers who came in this morning?"

"Nothing doin'." Guido crossed his arms. "You're

the guys who insist on 'information for information.'

Right? Well, I'm not telling you anything more until

somebody tells me about that door. I mean, I'm sup-

posed to be your bodyguard and nobody bothers to tell

me there's another way into this place?"

Aahz bared his teeth and started forward, but I

caught him by the shoulder.

"He's right, partner. If we want his help, we owe him

an explanation."

We locked eyes again for a moment, then he shrugged

and retreated.

"Actually, Guido, the explanation is very sim-

ple. ..."

"That'll be a first," the bodyguard grumbled.

In a bound, Aahz was across the room and had Guido

by the shirt front.

"You wanted an explanation? Then SHUT UP AND

LET HIM EXPLAIN!"

MYTH-ING PERSONS 13

Now Guido is no lightweight, and he's never been

short in the courage department. Still, there's nothing

quite like Aahz when he's really mad.

"0—Okay! Sorry! Go ahead. Boss. I'm listening."

Aahz released his grip and returned to his place by the

door, winking at me covertly as he went.

"What happened is this," I said, hiding a smile.

"Aahz and I found that door when we first moved in

here. We didn't like the looks of it, so we decided to

leave it alone. That's all."

"That's all!? A back door that even you admit looks

dangerous and all you do is ignore it? And if that wasn't

bad enough, you don't even bother to tell your body-

guards about it? Of all the lamebrained, half...."

Aahz cleared his throat noisily, and Guido regained

control of himself... rapidly.

"Aahh... what I mean to say is ... oh well. That's

all behind us now. Could you give me a little more in-

formation now that the subject's out in the open?

What's on the other side of that door, anyway?"

"We don't know," I admitted.

"YOU DON'T KNOW?" Guido shrieked.

"What we do know," Aahz interrupted hastily, "is

what isn't on the other side. What isn't there is any di-

mension we know about."

Guido blinked, then shook his head. "I don't get it.

Could you run that past me again ... real slow?"

"Let me try," I said. "Look, Guido, you already

know about dimensions, right? How we're living in the

dimension Deva, which is an entirely different world

than our own home dimension of Klah? Well, the

people here, the Deveels, are masters of dimension

travel to a point where they build their houses across the

dimension barriers. That's how come this place is bigger

on the inside than it is on the outside. The door is in

14 Robert Asprin

Deva, but the rest of the house is in another dimension.

That means if we go through that door, the back door

that we've just shown you, we'd be in another world ...

one we know nothing about. That's why we were willing

to leave it sealed up rather than stick our noses out into

a completely unknown situation."

"I still think you should have checked it out," the

bodyguard insisted stubbornly.

"Think again," Aahz supplied. "You've only seen

two dimensions. Skeeve here has visited a dozen. I've

been to over a hundred myself. The Deveels you see here

at the Bazaar, on the other hand, know over a thousand

different dimensions."

"So?"

"So we think they gave us this place because it opens

into a dimension that they don't want... 'don't want'

as in 'scared to death of. Now, you've seen what a

Deveel will brave to turn a profit. Do you want to go ex-

ploring in a world that's too mean for them to face?"

"I see what you mean."

"Besides." Aahz finished triumphantly, "take an-

other look at that door. It's got more locks and bolts

than three ordinary bank vaults."

"Somebody opened it," Guido said pointedly.

That took some of the wind out of Aahz's sails.

Despite himself, he shot a nervous glance at the door.

"Well... a good thief with a lockpick working from

this side...."

"Some of these locks weren't picked, Aahz."

I had been taking advantage of their discussion to do

a little snooping, and now held up one of my discoveries

for their inspection. It was a padlock with the metal

shackle snapped off. There were several of them scat-

tered about, as if someone had gotten impatient with the

MYTH-ING PERSONS 15

lockpick and simply torn the rest of them apart with his

hands.

Guido pursed his lips in a silent whistle. "Man, that's

strong. What kind of person could do that?"

"That's what we've been trying to get you to tell us,"

Aahz said nastily. "Now, if you don't mind, what were

those customers like?"

"Three of them... two men and a woman... fairly

young-looking, but nothing special. Klahds by the look

of 'em. Come to think of it, they did seem a bit nervous,

but I thought it was just because they were coming to see

a magician."

"Well, now they're on the other side of the door."

Aahz scooped up one of the undamaged locks and

snapped it into place. "I don't think they can pick

locks, or break them if they can't reach 'em. They're

there, which is their problem, self-inflicted I might add,

and we're here. End of puzzle. End of problem."

"Do you really think so, Aahz?"

"Trust me."

Somehow that phrase struck a familiar chord in my

memory, and the echoes weren't pleasant. I was about

to raise this point with Aahz when Nunzio poked his

head in the door.

"Hey, Boss. You got visitors."

"See?" my partner exclaimed, beaming. "I told you

things could only get better! It's not even noon and

we've got more customers."

"Actually," Nunzio clarified, "it's a delegation of

Deveels. I think it's the landlord."

"The landlord?" Aahz echoed hollowly.

"See how much better things have gotten?" I said

with a disgusted smirk. "And it's not even noon."

"Shall I run 'em off, Boss?" Guido suggested.

16 Robert Asprin

"I think you'd better see *em," Nunzio advised.

"They seem kind'a upset. Something about us harbor-

ing fugitives."

Aahz and I locked gazes in silence, which was only

natural as there was nothing more to be said. With a

vague wave that bordered on a nervous tick, I motioned

for Nunzio to show the visitors in.

As expected, it was the same delegation of four from

the Devan Chamber of Commerce who had originally

hired us to work for the Bazaar, headed by our old ad-

versary, Hay-ner. Last time we dealt with him, we had

him over a barrel and used the advantage mercilessly.

While he had agreed to our terms, I always suspected it

had hurt his Devan pride to cut such a generous deal and

that he had been waiting ever since to pay us back. From

the smile on his face as he entered our reception room, it

appeared he felt his chance had finally come.

"Aahh, Master Skeeve," he said. "How good of you

to see us so promptly without an appointment. I know

how busy you are, so I'll come right to the point. I

believe there are certain individuals in residence here

that our organization is most anxious to speak with. If

you would be so kind as to summon them, we won't

trouble you further."

"Wait a minute, Hay-ner," Aahz put in before I

could respond. "What makes you think the people

you're looking for are here?"

"Because they were seen entering your tent less than

an hour ago and haven't come out yet," said the largest

of Hay-ner's back-up team.

I noticed that unlike Hay-ner, he wasn't smiling. In

fact, he looked down-right angry.