CRAZY

“Gabby, what’s wrong?” she says, begi

“I can’t… I need…” I start gasping for air, and I know it’s only a matter of time. FUCK! “A

“Where are you?” she demands. I hear voices in the background, and vaguely remember hearing a loud noise before finally answering.

“Benton’s,” is all I can get out, then everything goes black.

***

“You know what you’re worth,” my mother growls, hovering over me. “Nothing. You’re a piece of shit nothing that can’t ever keep anything good. That boy was all you had, and you made him go away. Now, you’re fucking stuck in here with me. This motherfucking apartment isn’t even big enough for the two of us,” she growls, kicking me while I’m down.

I never knew she felt that strongly about him. I know she hates me, but I always thought she hated everything about me, but apparently she loves my boyfriend. Mothers are supposed to be kind and gentle and caring. Mine is anything but.

Limping to my room, I lock the door and curl into the bed, rubbing my protruding stomach where she kicked me.

“One of these days we’ll be out of here, buddy,” I whisper, willing myself to sleep.

***

“Gabby!” I hear her voice through the darkness, but I can’t find her. “Gabby, wake up.” Frantic hands find my arms and I moan, cursing the pain radiating through my body. “Jesus Christ, Gabby wake UP!”

“I’m going in to check on Ha

Not my Benton. He’s not here for me.

“Gabby,” A

“I can’t,” I mumble, trying to pick myself up from the floor only to fail miserably. Huffing, I curse and sit up straight, at least. She doesn’t need to support all of my crazy.

“What the hell, Gabby? You had me worried sick,” she says, her hands fidgeting in front of her. I feel so fucking bad that I made them come save my crazy ass. I feel so fucking bad I passed out while watching Benton’s baby girl.

“Oh, god! Ha

“She’s fine. She woke up when I came in the room,” he whispers.

“She was asleep?” I ask nervously.

“Yes,” he snips, the glare on his face not relaxing. I take that as I’m not welcome in the room, so I walk back out slowly to A

“You wa

“I’d rather not,” I say honestly, watching her reaction go from sad to hurt instantly. Shit. “Look, A

“I’m here, Gabby. I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me. You’re my best friend; I need you to talk. Please,” she whispers. I see the hurt on her face, and notice the glare in her eyes. Sighing, I close my eyes, and remember the first attack I had in front of her.

I told her it was just panic because of school. I told her I’d be okay, and not to worry. She believed me at the time. This time, I don’t think I’m going to get away with that simple of an answer.

“A

“I do, though. I’m hurt that you’ve been keeping things from me, Gab. I thought we could tell each other anything.”

“I know… and we are….” I stop, watching her hands come around mine to stop them from fidgeting.

“Gabby, you need an outlet. Something, someone to talk to. Please,” she pleads.

A

“It all started twelve years ago, A

“I’m here, bitch. Let Adam get his uncle snuggle time in. We’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”

She gives me the eye that she gives me when her determination is set. I’m not getting around this tonight.

So, I tell her.

“I was young,” I say. “I had a very rough childhood. My mom was abusive, and my dad was a drunk. A

“I don’t want pity,” I whisper. “I don’t want things to change now.”

“Oh, Gabby… I don’t pity you. I love you, Gab. You’re like a sister to me.” She takes a breath and tries to collect herself. “I… I’m so sorry I never asked.”

“A

“So, what are you going to do now?”

“Go on like normal,” I say, shrugging.

“But Ben-”

“Stop. No… there’s no way I’m telling him and, if you blab to anyone, I’ll cut you,” I growl. She laughs and shakes her head at me, smiling.

“I love you, bitch.”

“Yeah, yeah, stop getting mushy. Take your man home. I think he wants to murder me after tonight. The death rays he was sending me were enough to kill earlier.”

“He’s a very loyal person, Gab. He loves and protects hard. He’s just worried about all of you.”

She has a point. He’s never shown me anything but kindness and he loves Ha

I want her out so I can refocus my energy to get off the couch. I’d never tell her, but I don’t think I can move right now. I need rest. I need aspirin. I need my meds. Most of all, though… I need Benton.

Benton

Numb

If I thought I was numb the entire cab ride back, I was wrong. Now that I’m in an elevator that is taking its sweet old fucking time to get me upstairs, I’m shaking from nerves that something happened. My gut told me the entire ride home that something was wrong, but I ignored it. I thought that it was just the nerves and emotions rolling through my body that made me feel like something bad happened. Seeing Adam and A

Something did happen. They just wouldn’t tell me what. The only words Adam told me were, “Everything is fine. I’ll see you at work.” He didn’t ask where I was, I didn’t tell him about my mom, I didn’t ask about Gabby. No small talk. He looked pissed, and A