Incandescent

“Just like that?” I question, trying to hold back my disbelief. I am a strong believer that a person can’t fall in love in an instant. People fall in lust, often confusing it for love. That desire makes your heart beat faster, your palms sweat all the while leaving that overwhelming urge to want to be with them. All those things are important when finding the one, but until you fall in lust with those intense feelings, only then can love grow.

“Just like that,” he repeats. I nod my head, not about to get into it with him. The man believes he fell in love at first sight; who am I to tell him that it’s impossible.

Nix catches my eye from across the decking; he’s been in deep conversation with Beau for the last five minutes. Beau’s still holding onto his a

“You lookin’ after my woman, Brooks?” Nix questions from across the table.

“You bet ya,” he calls back, tipping the neck of his beer his way.

“Keep her away from that asshole,” he jokes, pointing to Jesse. I laugh aloud and Jesse fakes a pout. The guy is a massive flirt, no wonder Nix doesn’t trust him. Hell, I don’t know how I feel about the traitor, ratting me out to Nix. I level my gaze at him, realizing I never called him on his play last week.

“What?’ he asks, seeing my frown.

“I just remembered I’m angry at you.”

“For what?”

“For ratting me out to Nix, that night at Liquid.” I don’t tell him I think of that night only for the unbelievable make-up sex and the night Nix made me feel beautiful.

“Oh, please, he already knew you were there. He had eyes on you all week.” He laughs and I immediately recognize what a fool I am. I honestly thought he would have just let me be for a week. Of course, Nix had his boys follow me. I turn, looking at him, and the man just shrugs. Shrugs.

“Babe, I’ve had a man on you every second you’ve been out of my sight,” he admits, looking smug.

“You what!” I come to stand. I can’t believe I never noticed. How did I never notice?

“It’s for your own protection, Kadence,” he explains without explaining.

“It’s a bit much,” I argue, sitting back down, feeling awkward in front of the guys. I can go head to head with Nix, but having an audience of all the boys is a bit too much for me.

“Your dipshit ex is still sniffing around. Until we find him and make it clear that you're off limits, you’ve got a tail,” he explains coming to pull a chair up at the table.

“I can take care of myself, Nix. Zane won't bother me again.”

"Kadence, he will. Trust me. It's best this way."

"But I’m sure the guys have better things to do, right?” I ask, looking at Jesse, trying to get Nix to see.

“Not me. I love it when you and Holly go shopping, especially in Victoria's Secret.” He bounces his brows at me.

“Jesse,” I gripe, listening to Sy and Nix growl. “Did you just growl like a dog?” I ask Sy, trying not to laugh remembering Holly’s reference to him barking. He narrows his eyes, his lips tightly sealed.

I look to Brooks, hoping I have an ally in him. “That coffee shop you go to in the morning is my favorite.” The bastard winks. Rolling my eyes, I turn to Sy; he looks at me as if the question is stupid. Of course, he hates it.

“He doesn’t count. The fucker is a cranky asshole,” Nix replies before I can use him as an example.

“Fine,” I huff out defeated, “Beau?” I ask, not hopeful with him still being pissed. Last night he didn’t warm up to me.

“I’ll let ya know next week, Kadence, when I’m on duty,” he smirks, and I finally give up.

“Nix,” I plead, hoping I can at least get him to ease up a little. Shopping? Come on.

“It’s for your own protection. It's that or lock you down.” My body freezes for a second at the thought of lockdown. Yuck. No way.

“Didn’t think so,” he adds, seeing my disdain for lockdown. “As soon as we find the asshole, we’ll ease up. Until then enjoy your entourage.” He smiles his smug-ass smile.

What a nightmare.

***

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” I ask later that night, not even realizing how that could sound until it’s out of my mouth. After thinking over what Brooks told me earlier in the night, I wanted to know what Nix thought.

“I think anything is possible,” Nix responds behind me, reaching around to cup my breasts under the bath water.

“Well, that settles that then,” I reply. My smartass tone not lost on him.

“Watch it, Kadence.” He pinches my nipple in warning.

“Well?” I push, wanting to know.

“What do you want me to say? I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone but my mom, dad and Z,” he admits.

“Didn’t you love Addison?” I ask, and cringe as soon as the question leaves my mouth.

“I thought I did. I tried hard to, but I soon learnt it’s not meant to be hard. You either love them or don’t. There ain't no learnin'.” I nod, agreeing with that statement.

“But you asked her to marry you. You must have had feelings for her.”

“Didn’t ask her. We just did it when we found out she was pregnant with Z. Lookin’ back, I know that wasn’t the right thing to do, but I wanted somethin’ better for my son. I wanted him to have a mom and dad.”

I nod, understanding his reasons. I can see where he was coming from, but I don't agree.

“What about you?” he questions, throwing it back at me.

“No, I don’t believe in love at first sight.”

“Are you sure, Kadence? I was there when you first met me.” He laughs, and I elbow him in the stomach.

“Ha ha. No, I think people fall in love with the idea of it, but lust is what you fall into, and love can only grow from that,” I answer honestly. Do I think I can fall in love with Nix? Yes, but right now what we have isn’t love, because honestly, can someone love another after a short time? For me, this feeling was like the begi

“Are you in lust with me, Kadence?” he teases, pinching my nipple again.

“I’m in something with you,” I retort. Oh, God, did I just admit to that?

“Did you love your asshole ex?” he asks, ignoring my slip, bringing the washer over my stomach.

“I did. I gave everything to him, but even then it wasn’t enough,” I confess, feeling like a fool, and I hate myself for it. I loved him more than anything. I was the idiot who loved someone more than they loved me.

“As much as I don’t wa

“So what you’re saying, Nix, is that you’re glad I’m not good enough?” I laugh, teasing him.

“Kadence, if you only ever give me what you’ve given me so far, it will be more than enough.” I lean back and twist my head to look up at him.

“Are you sure, Nix? You strike me as the type as all or nothing.”

“Oh, baby, I am, but I’m also the type to know when he’s got a good thing, and you, Kadence, are a good thing.” He leans down, our lips finding each other.

I want to relish in the feeling of now, of in this moment, knowing it’s something I’ll want to remember. That pivotal point when you know the man you're giving your body to just took a little of your heart.

Lust my ass, my heart sings.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Nix

I stir at the smell of cooked bacon coming up from the kitchen. I don’t even need to open my eyes to know she isn’t in bed. Looking over at the clock, I see it’s half past nine. I groan in frustration that once again I haven’t woken up with Kadence naked in my bed; she keeps disappearing on me. Rolling out of bed, I grab my boxers and make my way downstairs. I need to have a word with my woman telling her a few house rules. Number one rule: no leaving the goddamn bed before I wake up.