Every Wrong Reason

Or maybe he was already outside. He could have been working for all I knew and I’d just interrupted one of his jobs.

“Kate?” he said again, louder this time.

“Hi. Sorry. I’m here.”

More awkward moments spun by until he said, “Hey, Kate, I really want to talk to you, especially, uh, about yesterday. But I’m kind of in the middle of something. So if it’s not urgent, then I should probably let you-”

“I saw a lawyer this morning.” The words fell out of my mouth like poisonous snakes. I couldn’t keep them inside me anymore. They were infecting me… killing me. I had to get them out. I had to poison someone else too.

He let out a sound that was half growl, half huff of surprise. “A lawyer.”

“I needed to do something. I needed to get this in motion.”

He was so silent that if I couldn’t hear the background noise, I would have thought he hung up on me.

“You needed to-”

“I don’t want to fight with you, Nick. I just wanted to let you know. It was a courtesy call.” But had it been? Why had I needed to call him so desperately?

“It’s only been six months,” he shot back. His voice was firm this time, resolute. “Kate, give it some more time.”

I ignored his plea. “If we file together... amicably then it makes the whole process easier and-”

“I’m not going to do that.”

I was so shocked by the dominance in his voice I had to sit down. “Wh-what?”

“Go ahead and do what you want, but I’m not going to file amicably.”

“Why not?”

“It doesn’t matter why. You just need to know that I’m not going to.”

I had no idea what to say to that. I was more confused than ever. Was he trying to be a pain in the ass? Was he trying to make this as difficult as possible?

Obviously.

But why? Just to piss me off? Or did he actually feel entitled to more than what fifty-fifty would get him?

Or was Kara right? Did he really not want to go through with this?

I fumbled, trying to think of something to say, “Well, you should probably get a lawyer then.”

His reply was crisp and direct. “I have a lawyer.”

After a long minute of silence I realized he hung up on me. I stared at my phone, dazed and completely shell-shocked until the bell rang and students started walking into class.

So Sunday had been lies? A last ditch attempt? If he had a lawyer, then he wanted a divorce.

He was going to make my life as difficult as possible, but the divorce was definitely happening.

With my mind spi

Chapter Twelve

19. He’s purposefully making my life difficult.

A couple weeks passed, but the most progress made on my divorce was the delivery of papers. I’d contemplated for longer than I should whether to have them dropped off at Nick’s work. I had wanted to lash out against his refusal to make this easy.

If he wanted to play games, then public humiliation could go a long way.

But in the end I’d chickened out. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hurt him like that.

It seemed that no matter how difficult he made my life, I still cared about his feelings.

My lawyer thought these were particularly obnoxious obstacles, but there was nothing I could do about them. So he arranged to have the papers delivered to Nick’s attorney- who turned out to be one of the better divorce lawyers in the city.

I honestly didn’t know how Nick could afford his legal services. I had to scrimp, save and cut off my purse addiction to pay for mine. It wasn’t easy.

When we’d separated, our finances were frighteningly easy to divide. We closed our joint account at the bank and each set up our own. We both agreed to leave our meager savings alone for the time being and I trusted him not to touch it.

Besides, the amount was so insignificant that if he used every pe

Although, I never would have told him that.

The only thing we still shared was our cell phone bill, which he’d offered to continue to pay for until our contract was up and we could go separate ways without paying astronomical fees.

I had been the breadwi

I had always paid the majority of our bills, so I got to keep the house. He moved out. It only seemed fair that I keep paying the mortgage and utilities.

It was a little depressing how easy our finances had been to split. At the time, I expected more of a struggle… more of a fight. But we’d dealt with everything as cleanly as we’d ended our marriage.

As I packed up my classroom for the day, I wondered how he could afford his legal help. It was seriously bothering me.

Where was the money coming from?

His parents?

No way. They had plenty of money, but he would never ask them.

At least I didn’t think he would.

Was he that desperate to screw me over in the divorce that he would go to his parents…?

I thought they liked me. Maybe our relationship had been strained and forced, but no more than their relationship with Nick. They’d never been close.

Nick had always been the wild rebel child that his successful parents couldn’t take seriously. And they had always been the part of his life he politely tolerated. I thought I had created some kind of peaceful bridge between them.

Apparently not.

Apparently, they hated me as much as Nick did.

Sure, I hadn’t heard from them once since Nick and I separated, but I didn’t think they wanted to take all of my earthly possessions and leave me out in the cold.

They had always been nice. Distant, but nice.

Apparently distant-but-nice meant they had been harboring some kind of intense hatred for me. At least they had something in common with Nick now.

Kate Carter, bringing families together since 2008.

You’re welcome.

If Nick was that desperate to ask his parents for money, then he really did want to make me suffer.

I dropped my coffee thermos on the floor as my entire world began to spin out of control. Nick couldn’t hate me this much.

Sure, we’d had a rocky marriage, but did I deserve this? Was I that terrible of a person?

“You dropped this.”

I nearly screamed at the intrusion. I snapped out of my internal breakdown and blinked Eli into focus.

“Oh, my god. You scared me.” My hand landed on my fluttering heart and I sucked in enough oxygen so my brain could process his sudden appearance.

He gave me a playful smile. “You’re kind of easy to sneak up on.”

Nick’s words bounced around in my head. You’re ridiculously easy to surprise.

Was I?

“Sorry,” I tried to smile. “I was lost in my head.”

Eli’s smile turned patient. “I gathered.”

He held out my coffee cup and I took it from him. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He shifted on his feet while I tried to collect my wits. “So, uh, you looked a little panic stricken when I walked in. Is everything okay?”

I nodded without thinking.

“You sure? You’re a little pale. Do you want to sit down?”

I looked down at my desk self-consciously. It took me a few minutes to figure out what I wanted to say. I had trouble disentangling myself from my riotous thoughts. Finally, I lifted my gaze to bravely meet his and asked, “Am I a terrible person?”

Eli’s eyebrows lifted with surprise. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “I just need to know if I’m a complete bitch. I can’t tell.”

“Well that should tell you something,” he said with no small amount of amusement.