Becoming His

“At Max’s?” Kendall asks, already knowing the answer. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“Only if you want to talk to Jameson, otherwise you’ll just make me a bigger target.” I climb off the bed and straighten my clothes. “I’m hoping they’ll be at the gym or something.”

“It doesn’t make sense, Ace.”

“I know.” I drop back down beside her and put my head in my hands. “But it’s never made sense for Max to be interested in me. She looks like the girls that he’s always liked. I—”

“Don’t you dare doubt yourself! You are a hundred times more beautiful than that tramp!”

I know she’s lying, but I don’t bother calling her on it. What’s the point? I borrow a pair of Kendall’s flip flops and walk over to my apartment looking like a disheveled mess.

“Are you okay?” I inwardly groan hearing Nate’s voice as I climb the apartment stairs.

A humorless laugh slips between my teeth, my gaze stretched to the sky. “Peachy.”

“Ace, I’m serious. Are you okay?” He stops in front of me, blocking the stairs.

My attention snaps to Nate. “I’m fine! Get away from me,” I demand.

“I can help you.”

“I don’t need help! Especially not from you!” I slide beside him to continue up the stairs.

I quickly use Kendall’s spare key to unlock my apartment and disappear inside.

A note from Abby is on the fridge, asking me to call her. I know Kendall’s spoken to her, mostly via text, likely because she’s telling her what a wreck I am and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.

I retreat to my room and take a shower, dissecting mine and Max’s relationship and looking for every minuscule crack. By the time that I’m dressed, I feel even worse.

I put away my hair dryer, which leads me to reorganizing all of my bathroom drawers.

An hour later as I finish reorganizing my bookshelf, I realize we still have Jameson’s car, and mine’s still there. They know that I’ll have to come back. I groan and drop back to my bed as I turn my phone on so I can tell Kendall that I’m coming over. As I do, my phone receives a message from Wes that I contemplate ignoring before I open it.

Wes: Acester I’m worried about u- I’m ur friend 2- please talk 2 me

Me: I’m good. I’ll see you tomorrow in class.

I quickly text Kendall and turn my phone back off.

I pull on some jeans, a sweatshirt, and my Converse as I repeatedly recite that this isn’t a big deal. Everything’s going to be fine.

But it is a big deal. It’s a very big deal.

After getting keys from Kendall, I sit in Jameson’s car, telling myself the plan. In and out. I can do this.

“I need to stop repeating mantras. This should be my new mantra,” I say to the empty car as I back out and head toward Max’s.

As soon as I pull up, the front door opens and my heart stops with anticipation. Thankfully it’s Landon and I open the car door. I know already from the inventory of vehicles in the driveway that Max is here, unless he took his motorcycle, which is always housed in the garage.

“What do you know, it’s a Bosse,” Landon says, taking a few steps toward me. “I was hoping you guys would show up soon so I could figure out what in the hell happened.”

I stop at the hood of the car, not certain of what he knows.

“Seriously, all hell has broken out in there. What’s going on?”

“What happened?” I ask, avoiding his question and feigning ignorance.

“Jameson is ready to kill Max, and Max hasn’t said five words since I’ve been home.”

I shake my head, giving him my best look of i

“Well if anyone can help get Max out of his mood, it’s you. I hope you fix him before I’m back.”

I offer a weak smile and open the door without bothering to knock, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I know I won’t get lucky enough to get in and out u

Guilt slowly fills my chest at the sight of the mess from the party debris. Half-empty cups, plates with encrusted crumbs, a stray flip flop, and random articles of clothes litter the house. I work to shove it down and focus on my reason for being here.

I slowly make my way upstairs and face Max’s closed bedroom door. I hadn’t even considered her being here. Would she be here? Shit, I can’t do this! I begin to turn around, but my foot snags on a stray shirt that I’d stepped over on my way here. My arm slams against the wall, making a ridiculous amount of noise as I work to right myself.

Max’s door flies open and he stands in his doorway, staring at me in surprise. I consider fleeing, the stairs are so close, but my keys, along with all of my school things that I need are in his room.

I stand straighter and square my shoulders. “I need my things.”

He swallows and then reaches down and grabs the loose shirt that I’d tripped on and tosses it over the railing before waving me into his room.

I have to mentally instruct myself to move and make my way by Max, barely brushing against his chest with my shoulder. The state of disarray his room is in catches me off guard. I’ve never seen his room anything but military clean, almost bare, yet today clothes are strewn everywhere and the pillows and comforter are tangled and wadded up on the floor. Nothing appears to have been broken, thankfully, but it amazes me how messy his room has become with such few items.

I take a few more steps inside and round the bed to find all my things are gone.

“Ace, I just need you to talk to me. You don’t even have to talk, you can listen and I’ll talk.”

“I’ll save you the trouble. You were drinking. She was hot. You kissed her. I know that there’s more, I know you’ve known her a while, but really I’d prefer to not know the details. In this case I think I’d prefer to be in the dark.”

“That’s not what happened!” Max cries, extending his arm and brushing his fingers against my elbow for an instant before I pull away and shoot him a glare.

“I watched! I saw you in the backyard. I saw her come over and shove her ginormous boobs on you and then watched you guys kiss. You kissed her, Max! I saw it! Don’t tell me that’s not what happened.” I’ve never been someone that raises my voice, but the words leave me at a yelling volume as I throw a pillow across the room.

“Ace, I … I need you to just listen to me for a few minutes, okay? Just hear me out.”

“Where are my things? I just need my laptop and my purse. The rest I couldn’t care less about.” I rummage through a pile of laundry, absently wondering once more how in the hell his room has become so messy.

“I’ve known Lacey since high school,” Max begins, and I shake my head violently, indicating for him to stop. “We used to date off and on.”

I place my hands over my ears. I know that the act is childish, but I can’t stop it. The idea of hearing about their past threatens to crush me.

“Just listen to me, Ace. I know how your mind works. You want to know every spec of information about things so you can overanalyze the shit out of them until you feel like you understand it. I’m trying to give you the pieces! I just need you to listen to me!”

“I don’t want to hear it! I feel like an idiot right now! And I hurt.” My voice cracks with my last admission, and I take a deep breath as the sadness begins to overshadow my anger. “I don’t want to know more, because I can’t take more right now.” My eyes drop from the ceiling to look at him for a fleeting second before they fall to the ground.

“I want to make it better!” Max pleads, quietly taking a cautious step toward me. “I’m going fucking crazy here trying to understand what happened and how to get you to understand it.”