Becoming His

I shake my head, feeling the tears growing in my eyes with the sympathy he’s giving me. “I just need to go.” I drop my gaze.

“I’ll find your purse,” Kendall says. “Go outside. I’ll be there in just a second, okay?”

I nod and keep my head lowered as I make a beeline for the front door. My mind replays the sight of Max and Lacey again and again as I travel the short distance to my car. Self-preservation loses to the analytical part of my brain that continuously bitch slaps me with the images.

“Ace, what’s going on?” I hear Wes following me and pray he’ll stop as I break through a final group and make my way outside. I don’t bother confirming if he’s following because I’ve lost my composure. Hell, I’m barely standing.

I place my hands on the hood of my car and let my head hang as I hear the clear indication of Wes following me.

“You’re scaring me, Ace,” he says softly as he gently wraps an arm around my shoulders and somehow maneuvers me so I’m facing him. I don’t fight him until he tries pulling me closer to him. Keeping my tear-clouded gaze focused on the driveway, I take a step back. “Come on, I’ll take you home. When you’re ready to talk—”

I shake my head before he can finish. “You should stay.” My voice is thick with tears, and I sniff as my nose begins to run, wiping at the tears that have my face hot and sticky.

“Ace, I’m not leaving you here like this.”

“I’m fine.” The words come out loud and aggressive as I finally look up to see him. I know that the anger I’m feeling isn’t being appropriately directed, but I can’t seem to stop. Wes doesn’t flinch at my outburst. Instead, he takes a step closer and watches the tears coat my cheeks, looking like my pain is causing him to hurt as well.

“What’s going on, Ace? You can tell me. Do you need me to get Max?” He takes another step closer, and I lift my hand for him to stop.

“Max and I …” I start, but my throat swells with tears, preventing me from finishing my sentence. I squeeze my eyes closed and shake my head.

“You’re kidding!” he whispers, mirroring my anger.

I shake my head once, gulping a breath of air, and then turn my face to the sky. The new angle allows a new course for my tears to slide along my temples. “I saw him kissing some girl.” I wipe at the tears again in a futile effort. “I just need to get out of here.”

“Ace, he’s the biggest dumbass in the world,” he says adamantly, taking another step closer to me.

The mental image of her floods my mind, and I shake my head as more tears cloud my vision. “No, she’s beautiful,” I admit in a whisper.

Wes takes another step and envelops me in his arms. I know that the act is to console me, however, having one of my cheating boyfriend’s best friends be the one that comforts me at this moment just doesn’t seem appealing. I shove against his chest, forcing him to release his hold.

“Ace—”

Thankfully party sounds cut through the air and Kendall slides out the front door. She quickly closes it behind her and makes her way toward my car. She looks between us with concern before taking my arm and walking me over to Jameson’s car.

“I couldn’t find your purse. I’ll come back and get it tomorrow,” she explains, unlocking the passenger door for me.

I quickly climb in as Kendall slams the driver’s side door. She reaches over and grasps my hand in hers as we reverse out of the driveway. I clutch it tightly and sob the entire way to our apartment complex, where she helps me to her door.

Inside she hands me a set of pajamas, a clean towel, and a lingering hug before she reluctantly leaves me to shower. I quickly strip out of my clothes and stand under the hot water, hating how familiar this all feels.

Once my skin is red from the heat and the bathroom is filled with a hazy fog of condensation, I dress in Kendall’s pajamas and make my way to her room. She’s sitting on her bed, already showered and in a pair of pajamas, waiting for me. I want to apologize for taking so long and leaving her to use Shelby’s bathroom, but she stands up and wraps me in a hug, and my words instantly turn into tears as I come apart.

A couple of hours later a loud banging on the front door stirs us both from sleep. My eyes feel scratchy and dry from all of the tears, and my head has a sharp, stabbing sensation, accompanied by a dull, thudding pain that makes me wince as I move.

“I don’t want to talk to him tonight.” My voice is laced with desperation. Fresh tears somehow materialize, blurring Kendall as she flips off the bedroom lights and closes the door behind her.

“Where is she?” Even with the space between us, Max’s voice is loud and urgent.

“Max, you need to go home. There’s nothing to discuss tonight.” The politician side of Kendall takes control as I hear her calm and commanding voice.

“Where is she, Kendall?”

“She’s here, with me, but she doesn’t wasn’t to see you right now, Max.”

“I need to talk to her.”

“You should both sleep on this, go into it clearheaded.”

“Kendall, I need to talk to her!”

“Max, stop! Max! Get out!”

The lumbering of heavy footfalls tells me that he isn’t accepting her proposal to wait. The bedroom door swings open and the lights flash back on.

“Oh, babe.” Max’s voice sounds pained as he instantly makes his way to the bed with an outstretched arm.

I scurry off the bed and stand as far away from him as possible. “Get out, Max.” I demand, trying to sound fierce, but my voice is hoarse and thick with tears.

“Babe, please talk to me.”

I shake my head, making the throb intensify. “I have nothing to say to you, Max. You need to go.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I can’t do this,” I whisper.

“No, Ace, she’s nothing! Nothing!”

“I’m nothing!” The words leave me in a shriek. “I saw you! I saw you kiss her!”

Max’s face blanches. “I didn’t—”

“Go, Max.” I don’t bother with wiping my tears away; they’re coming so fast it would be a wasted effort. Plus, I don’t want to draw attention to my hands shaking like an addict experiencing withdrawals.

“Ace, we need to talk about this.”

“Go, Max,” I repeat.

He takes a couple of steps closer to edge of the bed and reaches out to touch me again. “Don’t touch me!” I snap, pulling away from him angrily.

He freezes and looks at me, panic stricken. I use his hesitation to walk past him and head to the bathroom. After locking the door, I sink to the ground, let my head fall to my knees, and cry.

A few moments later I hear Kendall and Max arguing in hushed voices.

A short time later the front door shuts, the lock turns, and I hear Kendall softly pad to the bathroom door where she quietly assures me that he’s gone.

The next day I feel and look like hell. Kendall makes me chocolate chip pancakes, but I have no appetite. She doesn’t bother asking for any additional details about what I’d seen. Apparently she’s pieced together enough of it with my screaming fit last night.

I had turned my phone off on our way home last night, but Kendall’s phone has been going crazy with calls and messages all morning. She silences it, not bothering to reply to any of them.

The following day I begrudgingly turn my phone back on so I can send a text to Abby so she doesn’t freak out since I haven’t been home. I ignore the multitude of messages that I see as it comes to life and quickly shoot her a text before turning it back off.

On Monday I still feel like hell, and I look even worse. Kendall still hasn’t spoken to anyone, refusing to answer Jameson’s calls even though I plead with her not to let my issues affect her relationship. I know she feels that he’s betrayed me, and by doing so, her as well.

We spend the day lounging around, still not showering as we wallow and watch chick flicks and barely speak. As our third movie of the day ends, I sit up and brush a hand over my hair, feeling the throb of my headache which has taken permanent residency since Friday night. “I need to go get my laptop,” I explain.