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alone, but you made me tell her. You said had no choice!”
“Well—”
“No, Andy, you’re in this as deep as am, but it’s so
much easier to just blame me, isn’t it? To do
ru
when things get complicated—like you always do? When
the truth is, we wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for
you!”
“Well, maybe you’re better off without me, then,” he
counters. “You’re right, I’m wrong, whatever.” He shrugs.
“I’m well out of it.” He swings his bag onto his shoulder
and pulls on his Yankees baseball cap.
My heart hurts, beating frantically.
bought him
that cap in New York—we’d laughed so hard.
“Andy, wait!” grab his arm. “Please!”
“Why?” His eyes bore into mine.
“I—”
“You don’t need me, Rosie—you’ve got your family
now. The whole reason you came, remember?” His eyes
blaze at me.
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“Andy—”
“Goodbye, Rose.” He yanks open the door. “I hope it
was worth it.”
Helplessly, watch him go, pi
words—the truth—as the door slams shut behind him.
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Holly
“Holly?” Josh looks up at me. “Holly, what’s going
on?”
can’t look at him, can’t face him. My cheeks are
burning and feel nauseous.
“Holly? Could you come down here, please?”
close my eyes, then walk slowly down the steps,
my grip tight on the handrail, my eyes on the ground.
“So?” he says when reach the bottom. “You wa
tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing,”
mumble, my eyes glued to the path.
“Nothing’s going on.”
“Right,” he says, nodding thoughtfully. “I get dozen
missed calls, plus texts and voice mails begging me to call
you—there’s something urgent you have to tell me—yet
when try calling you today you don’t answer your phone,
then when come all the way down here find you kissing
some other guy!”
close my eyes.
“So tell me, Holly, what was it that was so urgent?
What was it you just had to tell me?”
He looks at me and look away, take deep breath,
willing the words to come, the impossible, awful, life-
altering truth.
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He laughs bitterly. “I suppose that’s
stupid
question.”
frown. “What do you mean?”
“This is what you were so desperate to tell me?” he
says. “That you’re dumping me for someone else?”
stare at him incredulously, the blood pumping
wildly through my veins, the enormity of my news
overwhelming as look at him, so agitated, so outraged.
Then suddenly laugh—a brittle, edgy sound.
“Yes, Josh,”
tell him. “Yes, that’s exactly it. I’ve
found someone else—I’m in love with Andy.”
“What?” He stares at me dumbfounded. “Who the
hell is Andy?”
“I’m sorry.” close my eyes, forcing the words out
painfully. “It’s over.”
“Holly …”
march away from him.
“Holly, wait—”
bite my lip, don’t turn.
“Holly!” He grabs my arm. “What’s going on? What’s
happened?”
“It’s over!” tell him, pulling roughly away. “Are you
stupid or something? Do you need me to spell it out?”
stare at him, my blood racing, out of control. “It’s over,
Josh. I’ve moved on Deal with it, okay? You’re free—go screw as many college girls as you want.”
“What?” Josh stares at me. “Holly—”
“Why didn’t you answer your phone, Josh?” ask
miserably. “Where were you?”
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“What?”
“You knew how upset was, how much needed
you, yet you wouldn’t let me come with you, wouldn’t
answer your phone …” Hot tears streak down my face. “I
needed you, Josh. needed you and you weren’t there.”
“Holly, baby, I’m sorry—I’m here now, I—”
“It’s too late.” turn away sadly. “You’re too late.”
“Holly …” He sighs. “… didn’t get your calls,
couldn’t answer. didn’t have my phone—I left it
in
friend’s room and when
got it back
called—I came
straight over!”
bite my lip.
“Jeez, Holly, it was just one day!”
One day? Is that all? One day and my whole world
has fallen apart.
He looks at me for
moment, then sighs heavily.
“Look, Holly,
don’t know what’s happened, what’s
changed, but—”
“Everything,”
mumble. “Everything’s changed.
I’m—” sigh. “You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.” He cups my face, his
hands trembling. “Holly
Look at me. You’re what?”
look at him and see our future in his face. The
sacrifice he would make—the future I’d destroy.
“I’m …” take deep breath, trembling on the brink,
the precipice. “I’m
not in love with you.” turn away,
closing my eyes against the hurt in his eyes, the lies in
mine. An awful silence trails behind me, and shiver at the
enormity of it, the great abyss I’ve created, filled with
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shock and hurt, as walk away from him, from our life
together.
“I—I don’t believe you,” Josh says, panic lacing his
words like arsenic. “Holls, don’t believe you. Holly
this
is me!” He grabs my arm. “This is us!”
His eyes are full, deep wells of sorrow. “Holly
is
this about that kiss? About kissing another guy?”
close my eyes.
“It’s
okay—it
didn’t
mean
anything—I
understand …”
shake my head miserably. “You don’t understand.”
“Holly, do …,” he says, his voice trembling. “I do
understand.”
He looks pained suddenly, distraught.
“The guys, they
they told me was crazy to get
engaged so young—insisted on taking me out last night,
drinking, clubbing
They wanted to show me what I’d be
giving up, what I’d be missing out on, and …” He sighs,
his face crumpling. “That’s why
didn’t get your
calls
My phone was—”
“In
friend’s room,” quote, the blood leaving my
body.
“Holly, it’s not what you’re thinking—nothing
happened—I couldn’t! love you!”
look away.
“Baby, I’m so sorry.” He shakes his head. “I feel sick.
came straight here when got my phone. haven’t eaten,
haven’t slept—”
“I bet.” bite my lip so hard it bleeds.
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“Holly …” He shakes his head wretchedly, his eyes
swimming. “Baby, nothing happened, swear! left before
anything happened—I realized it was mistake. Like you
and him, right?”
turn away, tears flooding my eyes.
“It’s this engagement, it’s freaked us out, made us
crazy, that’s all!” he insists desperately. “I knew you were
scared, that you were worried about our future when left
for college. That’s why took you to New York, to prove to
you that nothing had changed, that I’m yours—I’m yours
as long as you’ll have me.”
close my eyes.
“And New York
it was so incredible, so perfect—
and then
saw that ring vendor and suddenly realized
there was one way could truly convince you, one way
could prove my commitment to you once and for all …” He
sighs.
“But we’re too young, Holls, we’re teenagers, for
God’s sake! It was too much,
get that now.
understand
That’s why we both freaked out—that’s all
it was—a knee-jerk reaction,
meltdown, right?” He
searches my eyes, his gaze pleading, desperate. “Let’s just
take step back, okay? No ring, no pressure. Just you and
me. We’re great together—so great—let’s just go back to
the way we were.”