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My heart pounds deafeningly, my skin prickling as
the car gets closer, closer—then it’s gone.
close my eyes.
She’s gone
“Holly?” Andy says quietly. “Are you okay?”
nod slowly, forcing myself to take deep breaths.
She’s gone now
Andy wraps his arm around me gently. “Are you
sure?”
nod again, swallow. “I just want to go home.”
Andy nods, squeezing my shoulders tightly as we
slowly round the corner onto my street. We make it up the
driveway, up the steps, and then
stop, suddenly
exhausted. The thought of taking another step, of opening
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that door, of facing Dad and Megan and dealing with
everything, is overwhelming.
“I don’t think can do this,” breathe.
“It’s go
your decision.”
bite my lip. My decision The hardest of my life.
“Come here,” he says, pulling me into hug. lean
into his warmth, closing my eyes and trying to pretend it’s
all been dream—a nightmare—that soon I’ll be able to
wake up.
“Oh, Rosie.” Dad’s voice floats through the open
kitchen window and
freeze. “I never stopped hoping,
never stopped trying
so many letters …” He trails off
and hold my breath, turning to look through the glass to
see Dad holding Rosie tightly.
“Holly?” Andy glances at me nervously.
can’t breathe. My eyes are glued to the pair of
them. My dad. With his daughter. His real daughter. His
healthy daughter.
“If she’d just given us
chance, if she’d just
tried
we could have been family …”
My chest tightens as he strokes her hair.
“Oh Rosie, it could’ve been—it should’ve been so
different …”
My heart stops.
Did he just say that? Did he really just say that?
“Holly?” Andy says distantly. “Are you okay?”
What about me— and Megan— and Ben? We’re his
family. Or at least, they are …
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But not me realize, my legs trembling beneath me.
It’s never been me
stare at Rosie, folded so tightly in his arms, the
world revolving around her, as always. Where should be.
Where used to be.
She’s taken everything
“Holly?” Andy’s face swims in front of mine as he
searches my eyes, his hand soft on my cheek, his gaze
clear and blue.
Suddenly lean forward and kiss him, hard, pushing
against him as if my life depends on it.
He breaks away and stares at me. stare back, my
lips stinging, my pulse racing, hardly believing what I’ve
just done.
“Andy?” Rosie’s voice is small, hesitant.
The look on her face is priceless—shock and
surprise painting her cheeks beautiful shade of gray.
Maybe now she’ll know how it feels.
“Rosie …,” Andy starts. “Rosie, I—”
“Holly?”
freeze at the familiar voice.
Slowly,
look down the steps, to where Josh is
staring at me, his eyes wide, an inappropriately cheerful
bunch of daisies hanging limply from his hand.
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Rosie
“What’s going on?” say quietly, my blood ru
cold as
look through the open window at Andy, then
Holly, then back again. He looks away. “Andy …?”
He glances at Holly, then glares at me.
“Oh, sod the pair of you!” he mutters angrily,
pushing past her and storming straight past me through
the kitchen and thundering upstairs.
“Andy!” cry, racing after him. “Andy!”
find him in the bedroom stuffing clothes into his
rucksack.
“What are you doing?”
“Leaving, remember? wanted to go before, but you
begged me to stay—said you needed me. And like stupid
sod, believed you.” He wrestles with his bag, his fingers
fumbling in his hurry, his anger.
“Andy, what’s wrong?”
ask quietly. “What
happened?”
“You happened, Rosie. You happened.” He shoves
his clothes down, pushing and pounding as he struggles
with the zip. “I warned you—I warned you that you didn’t know what you were doing, what pain you could cause,
what bloody mess you’d make—but oh, no, Rosie knows best.” He yanks the zip up finally, tightens the cord, then
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sighs, pushing his hair back from his face, his eyes closed.
“Such bloody mess …”
step closer, wanting to hold him, to soothe away
his anger, but something pins me to the spot.
“Is this about Holly?”
ask, my voice small, the
words stinging my tongue as they rise unbidden. “Did
you
did something happen?”
“Oh, here we go!” Andy laughs, lifting his bag off the
bed.
“I’m only asking,” defend myself, hugging my arms.
“Did you spend the day with her?”
“Why?” He rounds on me suddenly. “Why, where
were you, Rosie?”
stare at him. “I—”
“You were meant to be with me, we were supposed
to go whale watching, remember?” He glares at me. “But
when get out of the shower: surprise, surprise, no Rosie.
Again.”
“I’m sorry!” cry. “But Kitty just turned up—I had to
go—I left you note!”
“Really?
note?” Andy laughs. “Where? Where,
Rose? don’t see any note, do you?” He sweeps his arm
around the room. “And even if you did, you promised we’d spend today together, Rosie. You promised.” His eyes bore
into me. “But no. You left me. Again And it wasn’t even for Holly! You left me for Kitty— Kitty! After the way she
treated you in New York, the message she left on the
answering machine—she just snaps her fingers and off
you go? Are you crazy?”
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“She’s my mum!”
“No, you had
mum, Rosie.
terrific mum. She
loved you, she cared for you, and yes, she’s gone, but I’m
telling you now, if you think Kitty’s going to be some
magical replacement, you’re in for big disappointment.”
“That’s not what I’m doing!”
“Well, don’t know what you’re doing anymore—
what you want, where you’re going. You’re coming
traveling, then you’re not. You’re finding your mother,
then you’re not. You’re spending the day with me, then
you’re not—I can’t keep up!”
stare at him, speechless.
“I’m sick of it, Rosie!” His bag thumps to the floor.
“I’ve been working shitty jobs since July to save up for this
trip—it’s my gap year! I’m supposed to be seeing the
sights, digging wells in dusty villages or getting off my face
at full-moon parties—not chasing around after messed-up
girls with their incessant issues who piss me about, then
screw me over at every turn!”
My cheeks burn. “That’s not fair.”
“Well, you know what? Life’s not fair. It wasn’t fair
that Trudie died, it wasn’t fair that she turned out not be
your mother. But you can’t just take another person’s
parents because yours have gone, then flaunt them in
their face with fishing trips and hugs and bloody limos—
that’s not fair, Rosie!”
“They’re my parents!” protest. “She’s my mother
Andy! He’s my father!
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“He’s Holly’s father!” Andy rounds on me. “He’s been
her father for eighteen years, and now you’ve ruined her
life!”
“Me?”
stare at him, dumbfounded, anger rising
against the guilt and shame. “I didn’t even know about
Jack—it was you who found him, you who brought me here, Andy. was going to walk away, leave everyone well