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nod miserably. “I mean, if I’m positive need to
consider …” trail off.
“And Andy, is this what you want too?” Charlotte
asks.
“Um
…,” he stammers.
“No—Andy’s just friend,” say, embarrassed.
“Right.” Charlotte smiles. “I see. Actually, that’s
better. You don’t need any pressure, Holly,” she tells me.
“I’m not here to tell you what to do, and nobody else
should either. This isn’t anyone’s decision but yours,
okay?”
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nod, twirling my finger tightly in my hair.
“But if your pregnancy is your main concern, we can
perform prenatal test—to test the baby’s DNA directly.”
“You can test it before it’s born?”
ask
incredulously.
“Yes.” Charlotte nods. “Through CVS at ten to twelve
weeks or amniocentesis little later.”
“That’s what want,” tell her. “I want to know if
my baby will have the disease.”
“Okay,” she says. “But we do advise that you test
yourself first.”
“Why?” ask. “I don’t need to know about myself
right now—I need to know about the baby.”
“I understand,” Charlotte says calmly. “What you
need to appreciate is that with these procedures there is
risk—up to one percent—of miscarriage.”
close my eyes.
“Obviously, if you’re negative there’s no reason to
risk the pregnancy. And know you might not think so
now, but even if you yourself are positive, you might
decide you don’t want the prenatal test after all.”
sigh.
“Most importantly, you need to understand that if
the prenatal test comes back positive, then you won’t have
choice not to know your own fate. You’ll both definitely
develop Huntington’s disease.”
bite my lip. “I understand.”
“Holly,” Charlotte says quietly. “The only real
reason to do this—to take prenatal HD test—is if you’re
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considering terminating your pregnancy if the result is
positive.”
She looks at me and
drop my gaze, her words
hanging heavily in the air between us.
“Is that something you’re prepared to do?”
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Rosie
The limo smoothly and silently rounds the corner
and Woody’s Plaice rises into view, its wooden sign
creaking in the evening breeze, the lanterns twinkling
brightly in the windows.
“I wish didn’t have to go,” Kitty sighs, pulling me
close. “Today’s been so wonderful. Thank you so much.”
hug her back, my throat tightening painfully as
inhale her rich perfume, breathing her in. Don’t go
beg
inwardly. Don’t go, I’ve only just found you
“Promise me you’ll come visit,” she urges. “Just give
me call and I’ll arrange everything. Promise?”
nod, my eyes prickling.
“And no matter what happens—what’s happened—
know that love you.” She hugs me fiercely. “And I’m so, so
sorry …” Her ribs shudder and she tightens her grip,
holding me for
long moment before kissing me on the
cheek. “Now go. Before my mascara starts to run.” She
grins. “Again.”
look at her uncertainly, unwilling.
“Go,” she whispers, pulling
tissue out of her bag
and rolling her eyes. “Don’t mind me, I’m an actress. My
emotions are always at the surface. I’m fine.” She smiles
brightly. “Go, go.”
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step out of the car and turn back to her as she
winds the window down.
“I’ll see you soon,” tell her.
“You’d better.” She grins tightly, her eyes bright.
“Goodbye, Rosie,” she whispers, gripping my hand.
“Goodbye,” whisper, my eyes filling as her hand
finally slips from mine as the car pulls away.
watch it sail away around the corner, my heart
both heavy and light.
Goodbye, Mum
It feels like
dream. It seems impossible that just
this morning didn’t know her at all, thought she didn’t
want to know me, and now
smile. She’s my mother.
mean, Trudie will always be my mum—Kitty will never
replace her—but now have chance to get to know my
real mother. My birth mother.
completely new,
wonderfully different woman. race up the steps to the
house, brimming with excitement, and fly through the
door, nearly colliding with Megan.
“Sorry!” grin. “Have you seen Andy?”
“Andy? No—have you seen—”
“Holly?” Jack calls, rushing into the kitchen. “Rosie!”
He stops in his tracks. “How did—Where’s Kitty?”
“She had to go, but oh, Jack, we had the best day!”
“Really?” He smiles, relieved. “I was so worried.”
“She’s terrific!” laugh. “She’s amazing, she’s just—”
“She’s your mother.” Jack smiles.
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“Yes.”
look at him, the word thrilling through
every fiber of my being, bright and shiny and incredible.
“She is. She really is!”
“That’s so great, Rosie, after all this time …” Jack
smiles, but something clouds his eyes.
“And she said she was sorry,”
tell him quickly.
“Sorry for leaving us. For leaving you—that she’s
regretted it every day of her life.”
His expression changes as he looks down at me,
surprise followed by something else, something softer.
“She said that?” he whispers.
nod. “She said she was scared. Scared she’d ruin
our lives, and then scared to come back—frightened that
we’d reject her.”
He frowns. “I’d never have rejected her,” he
whispers softly, searching my eyes. “She’s
she’s your
mother.”
“I know.” smile up at him. “She also said that she
never worried about me, not for
minute, because she
knew I’d be safe with you,” tell him. “That you’d be
wonderful father.”
He looks at me, his eyes unreadable.
“She was right.”
beam,
lump swelling in my
throat.
Emotion streaks across his face.
“Thank you,” he whispers, his voice hoarse. “Rosie,
thank you.”
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Holly
The pier looms up ahead of us before even realize
we’re back. stare at it, disorientated, unsure quite how
got here, how to continue.
“You okay?” Andy asks and
turn, startled. I’d
forgotten he was there.
nod quickly. “Yes, yes, sorry, was
somewhere
else.”
“Understandable.” He nods, climbing off the boat.
“You’ve been in sort of trance the whole way back. You
missed all the whales.”
look up, surprised.
“Oh, yeah,” he says. “There were dozens— massive
ones.”
smile tugs at my lips. “Liar.”
“You’ll never know, will you?” He winks, heading up
the hill.
“Thank you, Andy,”
tell him, following. “For
everything. That was
it was …”
“Horrific,” Andy finishes for me.
grin. “Horrific,”
agree, fumbling for my keys.
“Thanks for lending me your cell phone, too.”
“Hang on to it for now,” he tells me. “In case the
clinic rings about your appointment.”
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“You’re sure? What if someone calls for you?”
“No one’s got that number—no one except Rosie,
anyway.
got the SIM especially to make calls in the
States—keep it for now.”
“Thanks.”
smile, the expression freezing on my
face as black stretch limo rounds the corner and heads
toward us.
“Holly?” Andy looks at me. “Holly, what is it?” He
glances at the car.
stare at it, frozen. “It’s her.”
He frowns. “Who?”
swallow hard. “Kitty.”
“Kitty?” Andy stares. “What the hell? What’s she doing here?”