Reclaiming the Sand

There were those damn tears again. That smelly dog and frustrating man were reducing me to a sniveling mess.

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, wiping away the wetness that had escaped behind my eyelids, and grabbed the ball while Murphy was still enjoying his ear scratches.

I jumped to my feet and ran. The huge beast lumbered after me, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

“Over here, Ellie! I’ll catch it!” Fly

“In coming!” I screamed, doubling over in fits of laughter as Murphy took off after it, colliding with Fly

A few seconds later, Murphy trotted off, once again victorious.

Fly

I joined him on the grass, the dirt cool beneath me. “Yeah, he’s one tough pooch,” I conceded, watching the dog in question with blatant affection.

“That was fun,” Fly

“Yeah it was. I needed that,” I said, my voice sounding loud all of a sudden. I cleared my throat and looked up toward the house. It was lit up like a Christmas tree. Lights were on in every window. It looked warm and inviting, just like it always had.

Fly

“We don’t have to sit on the ground. You have some perfectly nice benches that we can use,” I told him.

He shook his head. “No. Kevin says I should make myself experience new things. Things that I don’t like or that make me anxious.”

I smirked. “And sitting on the ground is a new experience?” I scoffed.

“I don’t like the feel of the grass. It’s rough. It’s itchy. I hate it,” he mumbled, rubbing his hands together.

Sometimes I could almost forget that there was anything unusual about Fly

But then there times like this, when it was impossible to ignore how much he struggled in his day-to-day life. I was in awe of the man who was sat beside me, trying not to freak out because the grass was scratching his skin.

I thought I had it tough. I had lived so long in my egocentric bubble that I had forgotten that there were other people in the world who fought battles a lot more brutal than mine.

Fly

“Can you lie back on the grass, Fly

“There are bugs in the grass, Ellie. They’ll crawl in my hair. They can get in my ears.” He sounded as though he were on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.

I needed to try this another way.

I pointed upwards and tilted my head back. “Look up then,” I said in hushed tones.

Fly

“What do you see?” I asked him.

Fly

“I see the universe.”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Fly

I felt myself flush. I cleared my throat. “Can I touch you?” I asked.

Fly

I gently placed my fingers on his chin, turning his face back up to the night sky. “If you watch long enough you’ll see a falling star. Have you ever seen a falling star before?”

Fly

“Well, let’s look for one. They’re supposed to be good luck, you know. And I don’t know about you, but I could use a little luck in my life,” I mused.

And we sat there, the night wrapping us in its safe and silent arms, watching the stars wink and shine above us. After a while, I reached over and took Fly

He didn’t protest. His body tensed for a moment and I thought he’d sit back up. But after a few seconds, I felt him relax. I moved as close to him as I thought he’d allow. And we continued to watch the twinkling worlds in the sky.

“I saw one!” Fly

“Looks like the good luck is all on you then,” I remarked lightly. Fly

My heart fluttered madly.

“Is that okay?” he asked, his breath hot on my palm.

“Yes,” I croaked.

Fly

“Your skin feels nice,” he said, my hand still touching his face.

“Your lips feel nice on my skin,” I breathed.

“I’ve never done this before,” he let out in a rush.

I rolled my head to the side and watched him as he continued to watch the sky and kiss my hand. “You’ve never done what?”

He carefully placed my hand on his chest. Over his heart. He turned his head to look at me. His green eyes dark in the shadows but as bright as the stars.

“Kissed a girl. Touched a girl. I’ve never done anything,” he admitted and I was more than a little shocked. Sure he was different, but that didn’t change the fact that Fly

“You’ve never kissed anyone? No one has ever touched you like this?” I asked, lifting my hand from his chest and lightly stroking my fingers down the length of his cheek.

I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down with the force of his swallow. I rested my hand at the hollow of his throat, feeling the frantic beat of his heart beneath my fingertips.

“I don’t like people touching me. It makes me feel strange. I get nervous.”

Was he telling me to stop?

I started to lift my hand but he grabbed it with a sudden aggression that startled me. He gripped my hand tightly in his. He closed his eyes, frowning as though in pain.

“I like it when you touch me,” he said in an agonized whisper.

I wriggled my fingers free and brought them back to his face. “I’ll be careful Fly

I traced the curve of his lips and my breath became labored. How could just touching his mouth affect me so much?

“I know you will, Ellie. I trust you.”

That made me stop.

He trusted me.

This incredible man trusted me! Ellie McCallum. I was hateful. I was inconsiderate. I had thought nothing of making him the brunt of my juvenile cruelty. I had grown up to become a woman who cared nothing for anyone or anything. To me, people had always been disposable. No one was worth the effort it took to love and open myself up.

I was hated. I was feared. I was barely tolerated by the people I considered friends.

And yet Fly

The power of those words wasn’t lost on me. He had given me something infinitely precious without even realizing it. He offered it without a second thought to who he was giving it to.

Because Fly

And this man trusted me.

I slowly wrapped my hand around the side of his neck, my fingers curling up into his hair. I heard Fly