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How could I do that? How could I stand there and say I don’t give a shit?
I had been numb for so damn long.
But every day, every hour, the deep emotional freeze was begi
And it hurt.
It was excruciating.
But it made me feel strong.
I gripped my keys in my hand and headed out to my car.
I didn’t know where I was going but I knew where I wouldn’t be.
And that was here. Stuck. Never changing.
It was time to do something about it.
-Ellie-
I drove around for a while; thinking until I thought my head would explode. Somehow I had ended up parked at the bottom of a familiar graveled driveway. The night was noisy as I climbed out of my car.
It was the early days of October and the heat of August and September was slowly slipping away. The night held the sounds of a dying summer.
I closed the door to my car, the sound like a gunshot. I don’t know why I ended up here, only that I had nowhere else to go.
And that had been what led me to him all those years ago.
I walked up the worn path that cut through the trees. It looped around by a stream that edged the property. I had traversed these woods many times. I knew exactly where the road would lead me.
I heard him before I saw him, my heart speeding up in my chest.
I edged through the trees until I was at the bottom of his yard. I could make him out in the moonlight. I could hear his laughter and it made me smile.
What was he doing?
A huge figure barreled past me and I almost wet myself.
“Come here, Murphy!” I heard Fly
I stepped out into the open, barely able to believe what was right in front of me. My dog, my Murphy, was ru
Murphy dropped the stick on the ground at Fly
I started walking toward them, barely able to breathe. Barely able to contain the tears that prickled behind my eyelids.
As if sensing my presence, Murphy started ru
He toppled me over backwards and I landed with a whoosh on my backside. Murphy’s tongue lapped my cheek, his hot doggie breath filling my nose.
“Good boy,” I crooned, scratching underneath his chin just how I knew he liked it.
“He likes you.” I looked over my shoulder to find Fly
I laughed as Murphy nudged my chin with the top of his head. I thought I’d never see him again. I had spent a better part of my day fixated on what had become of him. And here he was, with the one person I knew would love him as much as I did.
“I can’t believe it was you that adopted him,” I said in between breathless giggles.
“What?” Fly
I got to my feet, Murphy pressed against my legs.
“You got him from the shelter. I volunteer there. I’ve been taking care of Murphy since he was brought in over the summer,” I explained, still in disbelief that my dog was here. Only he wasn’t my dog anymore. He was Fly
“Do you want to play with us?” Fly
I had left Dania’s upset and conflicted.
And I had found my way here.
I had found my way home.
I grabbed the ball from Fly
“Go long, Fly
“Where am I going?” Fly
I chuckled, pointing to a spot on the other side of the yard that was visible in the spotlight shining from the porch.
“Over there! I’m going to toss this to you. Murphy loves this game. When you catch it throw it right back,” I instructed, feeling an almost indescribable joy.
“Okay. I’ll throw it back to you after I catch it,” Fly
“Right. Throw it back after you catch it.” I knew he needed the repetition to ensure he understood. Patience wasn’t my strong suit, yet with Fly
But this wasn’t anyone else.
And experience had established that my usual just didn’t apply with Fly
I threw the ball as fast as I could and watched as Murphy bounded after it. Fly
“Get it, Fly
“He’s strong,” Fly
He didn’t pull away. He stayed perfectly still until I was finished and had tucked the tissue back in my pocket.
I was standing so close to him that I could smell the clean tang of his soap. I could see every strand of his thick, dark hair in the moonlight. The sloping curve of his lips and the dip of his neck where it met his shoulders beneath his long sleeved shirt.
Fly
We were only a few inches apart. If I reached out I could wrap my arm around him. If I leaned in, I could kiss him. I could lay my head on his shoulder.
I swallowed around the lump that had taken up residence in my throat. The air hummed with awareness. And I could tell by the tension in Fly
And he still wasn’t moving…
“Can we try that again? I won’t let him get the ball this time,” Fly
I licked my dry lips and could only nod. Words had failed me.
“Let me get it. No sense in getting your hands covered with dog drool again,” I said, giving him, what I hoped, was a convincing smile.
Fly
Something had happened in those few seconds that had changed everything.
I just didn’t know what.
I crept back over to Murphy who was now watching me warily as I approached. His tail started thumping the grass behind him, his large paws holding on to the ball in front of him.
“Hey big boy,” I crooned, gri
And now they were making a home together. They would keep each other company. They would love each other. And I wished like hell I could be a part of that. I wanted to be included in the tiny family Fly