More Than This

Then her mouth is on me and around me and there are fireworks in the room and my heart’s stopped beating and my toes curl and my fingers are in her hair and she’s moaning and I’m groaning and then I’m two seconds away from exploding and I warn her but she won’t. fucking. stop. and the world flashes white and somewhere in the distance violins play and angels weep, and she’s taking it all, until it’s all over and I finally open my eyes to see her Bambi eyes watching me, licking her lips, and it’s the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire goddamn life. My mouth is so dry I couldn’t speak if I wanted to. Then she’s standing up and walking to my window and before I realize what’s happening she’s halfway out.

“Wait!” I yell, like I’ve just learnt to speak for the first time.

“Whats up?” She smiles i

“You can’t just leave,” I say, putting myself back in my shorts and walking over to her. “I have to reciprocate.”

“Oh you will…” she says winking at me, “but not today.”

And then she’s out the window, jumping the roof space and climbing into hers.

What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened.

*Mikayla*

Once I’m in my room, I climb into bed, get under the covers, and double click my mouse, the whole time thinking of Jake's face as he let himself go.

I love him.

Like, Love love him.

Chapter 32

*Jake*

The day after Kayla literally, and legitimately, blew my mind, we went to the house. She fell in love with it instantly. Almost as quickly as I fell in love with her.

She had the idea of using most of the furniture from her family home that she’s got in storage. Honestly, I couldn’t care less what was in there.

As long as she was.

I tried numerous times while we there to reciprocate but she wouldn’t let me, I was however, able to cop a feel every now and then.

*Mikayla*

Jake Andrews is definitely swoon worthy. I should write a book about him.

It’s two weeks until the college year starts and there’s a bonfire party at a huge field tonight.

It’s the last blowout before we all leave for college, around 5 different schools will be there.

I was a little wary when we first discussed it, because it more than likely means that James and maybe Megan, who I still have not heard from, will be there. I was assured by Jake and his friends that it won’t be a problem and if it is, they’ll go Chuck Norris on his ass.

So that’s where I find myself, sitting in a huge field around a bonfire. Whoever set this is up genius. There is a huge dance/grope/whatever floor at one end, A DJ keeps that area entertained.

Trucks and cars are parked and scattered everywhere, a lot of those have bonfires and their own music going, our group is one of those.

All of Jake's friends, which he assures me I should start calling our friends, are here, along with some other guys. That creeper from the batting cages is here too, still creepy, and still eye licking me. Derek, his name is. Jake’s noticed, but hasn’t done anything about it. Yet.

“Hey, Micky!” Logan yells from the bed of Dylan's truck. “I got your jam for you.” There’s an iPod dock in the bed of the truck and he’s been playing with it most of the night, our own personal DJ.

Obviously, ‘Hey Mickey’ comes blasting through the speakers. Heidi squeals and jumps off of Dylan's lap, grabbing me and Lucy to dance with her in the middle of our group.

We dance like idiots, because, let’s be honest, we’re all about two beers away from being completely wasted, and that’s fine. Most of our dance moves consist of that monkey dance that was invented in like… 1956. Good times.

As the song begins to wind down, Heidi stops dancing and nudges me, cocking her head to the direction of the dance floor.

I look up and see James walking towards me, head down, hands in pockets. By the time he reaches me, the music has stopped and Jake is sitting up in his chair, waiting to make a move.

“Hey, Micky,” he says shyly, looking down at the floor. I realize, looking at him, like this, why I liked him in the first place. When I met him, he was the shy new kid, with that Texan accent and that southern hospitality.

“Hi, James. How are you?” A small smile appears on my face.

I feel resolved. Like I’ve accepted this for what it is. He hurt me, but he can’t take it back, and that’s okay, because I’ve moved on and I’m over it. I really am. And there’s no point in hating him, because hating him is so much harder than loving something else, or someone else.

He laughs once. “I’ve been better.” He looks up at me, and there’s so much sadness and regret in his eyes that for a second, I let my heart break for him, but only for a second.

“Listen…” he starts, looking around him at my friends watching his every move. “Is it all right if we talk somewhere?” I see Jake move from the corner of my eye. “I just think that maybe we should talk, say goodbye or something. Just… closure? I guess.” He looks back down to the ground.

I turn to look at Jake, asking for permission. I know I don’t need his permission, but I still want it. Out of respect for him, and for us, or what we might be.

He stares back for a few seconds before nodding his head almost imperceptibly.

“Okay,” I say softly.

James looks up at me, then at Jake. “Thanks, man. I’ll have her back in a minute. Just one dance,” he says to Jake.

He walks ahead of me towards the dance floor. I turn back once to look at Jake and he’s glaring at us, jaw clenched, eyes narrowed.

I wait for James while he walks up to the DJ and talks in his ear. When he comes back, he stands in front of me, his hands rest lightly on my hips. I look back to Jake but he’s no longer watching us.

I rest my hands on his upper arms, making it clear this is in no way intimate.

The DJ changes songs.

“Bruno Mars?” I ask him.

“It’s kind of been my anthem for the last couple months,” he says, sighing a little.

It’s ‘When I was your man’.

It makes sense.

“How’s Megan?” I ask.

He huffs out a breath.

“I’m not sure, you’re better of asking her new boyfriend, but then you’d have to travel to L.A to do that.”

I look at him, bug eyed, waiting for an explanation.

“Yeah, she met up with whoever was going to be her roommate at UNC and she bought her brother with her. I guess they hit it off, because two days later she packed up her life and followed him,” he laughs a sad laugh. “I didn’t even know until two days after she left.”

“Sucks, doesn’t it?” I say, not with malice, but more with understanding.

“Not really,” he surprises me. “I was never in love with Megan.”

Its quiet for the longest time as the song plays. His anthem.

“I really am sorry, Micky, for what it’s worth. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You were my life.”

I start to interrupt but he stops me.