She's So Dead to Us

Don’t worry. You still have a chance.

You think?

It’s Jake Graydon. Pretty soon he’s going to have

worked his way through the entire school and

he’ll have to make a second round.

jake

The door to my room opened and I dropped my Xbox controller and lifted my Physics text onto my lap. Then I saw it was Sha

“Nice try, Graydon, but even your mom would’ve caught that one,” she said.

“Everything okay?” I asked. Usually when Sha

“Oh, he did the ‘come home and pass out’ thing tonight. I’m just bored.” She shoved her hands under my arms from behind to lift me up. “Come on. Hammond and the Idiot Twins are downstairs harassing your brother, and Chloe’s in the car.”

I shut off the TV. “The car?”

She shot me a wicked look over her shoulder. None of us had our licenses, but that never stopped Sha

I followed her down the stairs at a jog and into the kitchen, where Jonah sat at the counter trying to do his algebra homework. The Idiot Twins were sandwiching him between them, shouting numbers in his ears so he couldn’t concentrate, while Hammond stood across the room, throwing popcorn from our popcorn machine at all three of them. The popcorn machine was right next to our sundae bar. Mom had it all installed over the summer in an attempt to turn our house into party central. She loved it when my friends were around.

“Quit it,” Jonah complained, trying not to whine. He elbowed the twins on either side, but they clung to him as Hammond laughed.

“Dude. Not cool.” I grabbed the back of his polo shirt to drag him out of there. With my free hand I slapped Trevor on the back. “Let’s go.”

Hammond launched one more shot at Jonah, and Todd gave my brother a world-class noogie as we walked out. Still, Jonah somehow managed to snatch the popcorn out of the air and eat it.

“Nice,” I said to him.

He gri

“I’ll see what I can do.”

The side door opened before we could escape, and my mom walked in wearing her te

“Hello, Sha

“Out,” I replied.

“Have you done your homework?” she asked.

“Yes,” I lied.

“Jake.” She already seemed exasperated. “We made a deal at the begi

“Mom,” I said through my teeth, “I swear.”

“We’re just going out for ice cream, Mrs. Graydon,” Sha

I held back a smile. My mother was all about grades, but she was even more about looking like the cool mom in front of my friends, and Sha

“All right, all right,” my mother said. Suddenly it was no big deal. “Have fun. There’s always tomorrow for homework.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Let’s go.”

“Ice cream! Sweet! I didn’t know we were going for ice cream!” Todd cheered, jumping up and down with his hands on Hammond’s shoulders.

“Dude, take some Ritalin,” Hammond groused.

We all laughed as we piled through the double doors. Sha

“Nice work,” I said to Sha

“Oh, please. If I hadn’t done it, you would,” she said, shoving me back. “Here, you guys. Help me get this in the truck.”

She bent at the waist and wrapped her arms around the legs of the lawn jockey that stood at the foot of the stairs. The twins clapped their hands in unison, rubbed them together, then crouched down without so much as a question.

“Um, why?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

She rolled her eyes up at me. “You hate this thing, don’t you?”

I did. It had been there when we moved in, and I’d always thought it was the ugliest thing ever, but my mother loved it. She thought it made us look wealthy or something. As if the eight-bedroom house with resort-style pool, full outdoor basketball court, completely stocked library, and gym didn’t cover that already.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“So help me get it in the car.”

Hammond and I shrugged. The thing was way heavier than it looked, and it was a struggle for all five of us to lift it over the rear bumper and into the trunk. We laid it down on its side and it stared out at me, holding its lantern like an accusing finger.

“Sorry, dude. I’m sure you’re going to a far better place,” I said. Sha

“Where’re we going?” I asked.

“That’s for me and Chloe to know,” Sha

As always. Chloe, who was sitting on Hammond’s lap, sighed.

“Wait. We’re not going for ice cream?” Trevor asked.

Todd slapped him on the back of the head.

“Where’s Faith?” I asked, glancing over my shoulder at Hammond.

“She’s working with her vocal coach,” Chloe answered. “But she made me promise we’d take pictures.”

“Pictures, huh? This is go

“You guys have no idea,” Sha

I pushed the button on the automatic window, letting the cool fall air whip my face. Sha

“Are we going to leave him in the park?” Hammond asked.

“Nope.”

Sha

“Are we going to the club?” Trevor asked.

“No.”

“The farm,” Hammond said. “Are we putting him in the pumpkin patch?”

“No. No way. Trevor’s scared of the pumpkin patch at night,” Todd said, leaning forward in his seat.

“The pumpkins have eyes,” Trevor said ominously.

“Don’t worry, you freak. We’re not going to the farm.”

“Oh! The new a

The a