Four Summers

He put the ball in my court, but I’ve been afraid to do anything with it. Admitting it makes it more real. And Dad will freak out and Alec will be worse. It’s stupid, but I can’t help how I feel.

Around six, one evening in early July, a truck pulls up, packed with people from school. They're all people Nate and Brandon have met before. Guys from Alec’s football team and girls I pretend to know how to relate to.

Matt, stands up in the back of the truck and yells, “Where’s Alec? We wa

“Douchebag. That’s baseball,” Nate mumbles to me. I practically hear Alec perk up from where he’s standing about fifty feet away from us. His football sensor is going off.

“We’re in! Let me hit up Brandon!” Alec jerks out his phone and starts sending a text.

“God forbid two football obsessed guys play a game without each other.”

Nate doesn’t reply, so I look over at him to see he’s staring at me. One of his eyebrows goes up and he has a mischievous look on his face.

“What?” I ask.

“We’re playing.”

“Yes, sir?” I tease and he rolls his eyes.

“Don’t act like that. I know you wa

My neck heats. I still can’t make myself stop blushing with him. “We play flag football.”

“That’s good, because I might freak out a little if someone else tackled you, but on the other hand, oops. My bad. I didn’t mean for you to end up under me like this, Star Girl.”

More heat. And excitement.

“What if we’re on the same team?” I ask, trying to be flirty with him and not sure if I’m pulling it off or not.

Nate shrugs. “We will be. Did I ever tell you I have a problem with accidentally tackling my own team?”

I smirk, thinking there might not be anything in the world a good as being on the same football team with Nate.

I’m not a violent person, but I really, really want to kill Danielle. Logic doesn’t matter. Who cares that she doesn’t know I’m with Nate. Am I really with Nate? He leaves in August and he has a life several states away. I try to have one here. It’s not like I expect a seventeen-year-old guy to try to have a long distance relationship, but for now, yes, we’re together. And if she doesn’t stop trying to stand by him in every huddle and talk to him every two seconds, I’m likely to lose it for the first time in my life.

I’m not jealous. I’m not jealous. I’m not jealous.

“Nate, over here! I’m open!” Danielle calls. Never mind that she really is open, I hate that he throws her the football.

I’m totally jealous.

Danielle drops the ball and I almost cheer. What is wrong with me? She’s on my team. I shouldn’t be cheering when she misses the ball.

“What’s wrong?” Nate asks a few minutes later when we take our places, ready for the other team to come at us.

“Nothing.”

When I try to keep walking, he grabs my waist. Nerves push at my jealousy and I step back, not wanting to have to deal with Alec finding out Nate and I are whatever we are.

“Whatever,” Nate replies. I can’t blame him for not pushing. For turning and walking away because not only has he done nothing wrong, but I’m the one who stepped away from him. Who lied to him. That doesn’t stop it from hurting.

The game keeps going. I’m dirty and sweaty. The game is tied and Nate hasn’t tried to talk to me anymore.

I can’t stop thinking that he tried to touch me and I stepped away. My head isn’t in the game and even though we manage to stop them, I’m not sure how.

Our ball.

We get into our huddle, like we ever really do what we say we’re going to do anyway. I run up the field, dodging Alec. He’s strong, and fast, but I’m hoping to keep myself ahead of him.

“Charlie!” someone yells and when they do, I turn to see the ball flying in the air at me. It’s over thrown a little so I’m still ru

Hard.

“Shit! I’m sorry, Charlie. I couldn’t stop.” Matt’s tangled in me and even though there’s a little bit of pain in my back from hitting the ground, I’m okay.

Slowly, I try to stand as Matt does the same. “It’s cool. No—”

‘Worries’ doesn’t have time to come out of my mouth before Nate’s yelling, “What the fuck, man!”

And then Matt stumbles back as Nate pushes him.

“Dude, it was an accident!” Matt yells back.

By then I’m to my feet. Brandon gets to Nate before me and grabs his arm. “Chill out, bro.”

“Did you see how hard he hit her?” Looking back at Matt, he shouts, “You need to watch what the hell you’re doing.”

Nate turns to me, right as I step up to him. “It’s cool. I’m good.” Maybe this makes me sound like a bitch, but it feels good to have him stick up for me. That he cares that much, but I also don’t want him and Matt fighting.

I wonder why I won’t risk Dad or Alec’s wrath so everyone would know that, for now, he’s with me.

“I’m good.” Then I push up on my toes and press my lips to his. It’s a quick kiss, but that’s all we need. Danielle gasps, Brandon laughs and…nothing at all comes from Alec. It doesn’t matter. None of it. Nothing but Nate and me.

“Oh, I got you.” Matt says with a laugh.

Nate shrugs. “Sorry, man.” We all start moving again.

“Our ball,” I say to everyone else, and then to Nate, “Let’s do that play again. This time, you and me. I won’t get hit again.”

The look he gives me makes my heart stutter. It's something like…awe. But then, what reason would he have to look at me like that?

“Let’s do it.”

When I look over, Brandon’s hand is on the back of Alec’s neck and as they walk back to their side of the field, he kind of shakes him, like boys do trying to pump each other up or whatever. If they’re talking about Nate and me, I don’t care. If they’re making a plan to defend me, they’re not going to have a chance.

A few minutes later, I’m ru

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Danielle says. “I mean…I wondered for a little while last year, but then nothing happened and you never said anything. Why the hell didn’t you stake your claim on that boy? He’s hot. Oh, wait…didn’t you date Lance last year?”

I glance at Danielle. I don’t even know how to reply to all of that. “This is…new.” Though it’s not really. We’ve been dancing around it since the first summer. Nate feels as much a part of my life as breathing. “Kind of new this year. He’s only here for the summers though.”

“Awww! So have you guys have, like, this secret love affair every summer? Only one more year left until you finish school, though. Then you can go to college together and live happily ever after!”

Her enthusiasm is freaking me out a little bit, not to mention the pain that her “happily ever after” vision conjures up inside me.

“Poor Alec… I’ve always thought he was secretly in love with you.”

I throw a glance over my shoulder to see all the guys are still standing in the middle of the field.

“Alec’s not in love with me.” I don’t think. Could he be? Could Alec really be in love with me instead of it being about The Village and our friendship? No, it’s been too much time. He would have told me.