Dizzy

***

Mary’s so wide that there’s this enormous space between us. “I’m too far away from you.” I pout. At least I think I’m pouting. I’m not sure I’ve ever tried it before. I feel invincible. Like I could fly away. Like I could say anything.

“For what?” He readjusts his hands on the steering wheel and stares straight out at the road.

“To mess with you while you drive. Mary’s too big.” I lean toward him smiling, but his eyes are focused on the street.

“Don’t be mean to Mary just because you’re drunk, okay?”

“I’m not that drunk.” I don’t think. I’ve never had more than one beer, or one glass of wine. Ever.

“Really?” He cocks a brow and finally turns to smile at me.

“Bet I’m not too drunk to kiss you.”

Dylan goes rigid again.

Just for fun, I decide to press him further and reach across the car, putting my hand high on the inside of his thigh.

We swerve, Dylan curses and pushes my hand away.

“Did I distract you?” I tease as I poke his cheek.

“Always,” he mutters.

It was worth leaving the bar just for this.

Nineteen

~ Dylan ~

I deserve sainthood. Really. Or knighthood. Or something. Ziah’s plastered to my side as I lead her up the front steps of her house. Her arms are circled around me, and my hand is on her waist. God, she was gorgeous tonight in her tight pants and the blue top. I’m pretty sure she did it just to drive me crazy.

When Derrick told me his friend from college was coming down for a final fitting, I’d been stoked. Not because of them, but because of the girl in my arms right now. I knew I’d get to see her, too.

Her coat’s on now, but before… It was almost more than the dress. She’s managed to walk that perfect line between sexy as hell but still Ziah, and it about killed me not to be able to touch her bare shoulder or her back.

Well, we’re touching now, but it’s different. This is because she needs my help, not just because we want to explore each other. It’s strange because this is good, too. Probably too good. I’ve never had so much fun helping someone before.

“You got a key, Hanes?” I ask.

“Nope.”

Shit. Now what? I’m afraid to try the doorbell. I’d much rather just drop her off than risk her parents catching us. Good thing Margarita smells good, but the alcohol still takes over. Not that her glassy eyes wouldn’t be enough to tip anybody off.

“It’ll be unlocked.” She sort of points in the direction of the door.

Weird. My house has a gate code, an alarm, and two locks.

We stumble through the door, and all I’m trying to do is be quiet. Ziah doesn’t seem worried about it at all, letting the screen door slap shut and dropping her coat on the floor.

“Ziah, shh.” But I’m distracted again by her top—what there is of it anyway.

She turns, so her front is pressed against me. Her arms are around my neck. “What will you do to me?”

The list of things I want to do to her is getting longer every second. I shove my hands in my back pockets, so I’m not tempted to do anything stupid.

“You’re home. I gotta run.” This girl is killing me. I wonder if she knows how much I really like her. She should. I wouldn’t have told anyone what I said to her about my mom.

Her body presses into me farther. “Will you help me upstairs?”

I know I should say no. I mean, that’s like the first rule when you’re in my position and have no plans to hook up. But I don’t. Instead I put my arm around her again and lead her upstairs.

Luckily, her door is quiet when we open it. Her room is a mess, which I would not have expected from Ziah. There are books on a shelf, but some are lying down and some upright. Her desk is full of papers and there is an overflowing clothes basket in the corner. She’s full of contradictions, and I like that about her.

“Okay. You’re here. You gotta let me go.” Not only do I need to get away from her, but her parents are probably down the hall. The last thing I need is them walking in on us right now.

“As soon as you give me a kiss.”

Wow… Drunk Ziah has balls. I groan. “Ziah, no…”

She closes her eyes and tilts her head away from me, pointing to this soft spot on her neck, just below her ear. “Right here, and then I promise to let you go.”

Sainthood. Seriously.

I’m having another one of those moments when I feel myself doing what I know I shouldn’t do. My lips touch her skin, and it hits me just like it did in that tu

Her arms are still around my neck and she pushes in closer. So close that our faces almost touch. My hands rest low on her waist.

“That wasn’t so hard, right?” She’s breathless and staring at my lips.

“Not so hard.” I swallow. If she wasn’t drunk, I’d probably really screw up the friendship thing right now. My thumbs are tracing the skin along the top of her jeans. God. I have to stop.

“’Night, Hanes.” I drop my arms.

She frowns. “Night.”

I can’t believe that didn’t wake her parents. And I have to get home before I do something really stupid, like walk back up the stairs and kiss her again.

***

I haven’t stopped thinking about Ziah since Saturday. About how she smelled and how she looked and what her room looked like. The little mole I saw behind her ear when I kissed her, and how she’d curled her feet up on Mary’s seat and it didn’t even bother me.

And crap… what I told her. I still can’t believe it. Derrick keeps trying to bring up Mom, and I won’t let him. I swear he looks relieved every time I skip out on the conversation. I don’t get why he keeps trying to talk to me about her if he obviously doesn’t want to go there.

At lunch Becky and Chastity ask if they can ride with Paul and I. We climb into the Hummer and hit up Taco Bell. Lunch off-campus is only for seniors, so we make sure to hang out the window and talk crap to the lowerclassmen as we tear out of the parking lot.

After ordering, we sit in the lot to eat. As soon as the food is consumed, Becky and Paul’s lips are locked as he leans her into the side of Mary.

“Dude, quit getting busy on my car,” I call to him. Without taking his lips off Becky, he flips me off. Laughing at him, I climb into the driver seat to listen to some music before we have to go back. Less than thirty seconds later, Chastity is climbing in the passenger’s seat.

“Wha’cha doing?” she asks.

“Trying to keep my lunch in my stomach, which wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t have to watch the two of them swap spit.” I push buttons on the CD player, trying to find the song I want.

“So….what ya been up to?”

“Nothing, you?” I’m still fooling with the dial.

Chastity crosses her legs, and turns toward me a little. Finally! I find the song and lean back in my seat.

“Nothing new… What’s this?” she picks up my sketchbook.

“Don’t look at that!” I grab it from her. “Sorry, it’s nothing.”

I tuck it under my seat and try to focus on the music again. My eyes close, and damn if I don’t think about Ziah again. And Derrick and Lora. The way he holds her and looks at her.

When I feel a hand on my thigh, I jump.

“Dylan?”

“Yeah?” I don’t open my eyes.

“Dylan.” She says a little more urgently this time. “I was thinking maybe we could hang out tonight?”

My eyes open now. I should say yes. There’s a part of me that kind of wants to say yes, but the word doesn’t come out of my mouth. I told Ziah we were only friends, but it still doesn’t feel right.

“I thought you and Ted were together?”

She shakes her head, looking a little sad. “No. We broke up again.”

And so she comes to me, which I guess I knew she would all along. Chastity comes to me for fun, but she’s really into someone else. It never bothered me before because, well, I only want fun, too, but now it feels weird. I’m just not feelin’ it like I used to.