Dizzy

“Thanks, Ziah. You have no idea.” He runs the back of his fingers down my cheek. I turn away, even though it’s one of my favorite things he does. It just doesn’t feel like it used to. And I still sort of want to be mad.

I take my hand back. “See you.”

He grabs the door handle. “See you tomorrow.” He pushes open the passenger’s side door, and I pull in a long breath when it closes behind him.

If before James and I dated, I had been given the choice between him and Dylan, I would have chosen James in a second. He’s the safe choice. Only he destroyed me, so like Lora said, looks are deceiving—he isn’t the safe choice. But also, somewhere in our time together, I sort of lost the excited feeling of being with him. It doesn’t let him off the hook for Alyssa, but it makes me wonder what he’s fighting so hard to get back. And I really wish I knew how I felt about it. I also really wish I knew how Dylan felt about me, because after our kiss, I’m more confused than I’ve ever been.

***

For the past few days, Lora’s been riding on this high of getting her location, and then I learn it’s just for the ceremony. After dragging Dylan and I all over town, they’ve decided to use Mom’s restaurant for the reception, and we’re heading there tonight. My Friday night. A week after my Dylan-kiss, and I’m in NO hurry to see him again. At all.

I call Alyssa in a panic, and she rushes over to make sure I’m appropriately dressed to make an impression without looking like I’m trying. Of course, I have to explain everything about Dylan and our kiss and how I’m completely confused, and she’s concerned and worried about me on the rebound. I try to assure her I’m not interested in getting involved with him. I’d simply like for him to be a little sad at what he turned down.

It’s the first real thing she and I have done together, and it feels good. Better than good. Like we’re talking and doing, and it’s another step in getting us to where we should be.

I step out of the house in Alyssa’s black coat, dark ski

Now I just need to settle my nerves and get myself in the mindset to be totally normal around Dylan and not think about the kiss.

***

Mom’s restaurant is nearly emptied out at close to eleven. Just the bar is still going, and the second I walk in, I see Dylan and think about the kiss. Not good. My knees get weak when I think about him pressed against me in the tu

Why, I want to ask him, Why? But then I remember that’s exactly what James asked me.

I am pathetic.

I slide off my coat and hang it on the back of the chair, and Lora and Derrick are looking around the restaurant trying to figure out the best way to set it up. Mom has this half wall that looks almost like an outdoor fence, and the main area of the place is like three different levels—not an easy setup to work with.

My shoulders go up as I find room in my pockets for my hands and my shoulder slips out. I’m trying so hard not to look and see if Dylan’s watching, but when I sneak a peek, his head jerks away. Guess we were both caught, and this is as awkward as I thought it would be.

“Can you two stand on that level?” Lora points behind me.

Great. Next they’ll want us making out to make sure the lighting is right.

I take the step up, and Dylan steps up behind me.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hey.” He gives me this weird smile and glances over at my bare shoulder.

Just then Paul steps out of the doors to the kitchen with a huge bowl of macaroni and cheese with bacon piled on top. That definitely looks like a “custom-made” item.

He gives me a howl. “Lookin’ hot tonight, Ziah.”

“Hey, Paul.” I wave and smile, a blush creeping up my cheeks.

“I would weigh five hundred pounds if your mom was my mom.” He grins and shovels in a mouthful as he finds a place to sit.

Dylan crosses his arms, and I swear he’s frowning. But I’m not looking close enough to really see.

Huh. He’s looking at me, and he doesn’t like that I’m flirting with Paul. A little part of me feels almost hopeful again. And then I know I need to crush it for all the same reasons I knew I shouldn’t get involved with him in the first place making me wonder why I bothered to have Alyssa dress me up.

“Scoot to the left.” Lora gestures.

I bump into Dylan, and he practically jumps away. Am I that bad?

“Dylan can take over. I need food.” I walk away and sit down next to Paul.

“Got a bite for me?” I ask, needing to be away from Dylan and out of this situation.

Paul loads up his fork with as much food as he can, gri

I snort. “If you think that you can out-eat me, you’ve chosen the wrong girl.”

“We’ll see…” He holds out the fork. It takes a second, but I get the whole thing in my mouth. Only now I can barely breathe as I chew, and I’m trying not to laugh at Paul’s wide-eyes.

“Are you kidding me?” Lora gives me a look. “I just need you and Dylan to stand in different places so we can check lighting and placement. Please.”

“Thanks for the food.” I smile at Paul as I move to where Lora’s pointing, and then some sappy love song comes over the radio. Is that…Elvis?

“What is this?” Dylan and I say at the same time. It should be fu

“Our wedding song,” Derrick says. “There’s meaning. Keep your comments to yourself.”

And then the song hits me. “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You,” by freaking Elvis. I was right. There has to be a story behind that one. Because…just because.

I bite my tongue and wait for further instruction. Derrick’s at the edge of the room next to the dimmer switches adjusting the lighting, while Lora points here and then there. Dylan and I stand where she wants us to. Or we sit where she wants us to.

I’m afraid to look at him, and we don’t talk. This couldn’t be more awkward if we tried.

Derrick’s making notes on switches, and I can’t look at Dylan. I don’t even know how to talk to him anymore. And I feel like once again, I just lost a friend. But this time it’s because I was the one who needed a kiss.

I’m such an idiot.

“Okay. I think we’ll use the lowest part as the dance floor, right babe?” Lora looks over her shoulder.

“Sounds good.”

“So, you two. Right here.” Lora points to a spot in the middle of the floor.

We weave around a few tables to get there, and I look longingly over at Paul, who’s finishing his mountain of macaroni and cheese. My favorite.

“Face one another for a sec.” Lora backs up, but I don’t know where to look.

I can smell him. It’s so good. So good. All the parts of the kiss come back to me. The feeling that I’d never get enough. His mouth on mine. His hips (and other things) pressed against me, and his hands across my back.

Just…

My phone buzzes in my pocket. I jump, thankful for the distraction. My eyes catch Dylan’s, and he’s staring again.

He shouldn’t be staring. He’s turning me into a wreck.

ALYSSA: HOW’S IT GOING?

ME: AWKWARD

ALYSSA: U CAN USE ME AS EMER IF U WANT

“I gotta run.” I shove the phone back in my pocket.

“What?” Lora and Dylan ask at almost the same time.

“Alyssa’s got some kind of emergency, and we’re just back on speaking terms. And I…” I’m really trying to look desperate.

“You should go then.” Dylan looks more like himself than he has since before the kiss.

“Fine.” Lora sighs. “I’m crashing at Derrick’s anyway, so you can take the car.”