Measuring Up

“Yeah, but it’s more fun to think it’s because of you. He’s so determined. So much different than he was a few years ago.”

I realize they all mean before the accident. Briefly, I wonder what he was like back then. Would I have still liked him? Would he have still liked me? “It’s fu

brother play basketball and we’ve gone out a few times. We jog a lot too. He seems too full of life to be that way.”

Sandra stops playing with her nails and looks at me. “He likes to have a good time. He always has been like that: fun, fu

I say, “Yeah, he’s a good guy.” My eyes find their way to him, watching him concentrate on a shot. “He cares about everyone. Wants to do what he can for

everyone in his life.” His hair falls down in his face and he shakes it out of the way, eye on the ball, then briefly looks up and winks at me.

It’s almost like a touch, my skin pebbling as though his fingers are ghosting against it.

“Oh, girlfriend. You have it bad. I mean, who wouldn’t and it’s obvious he’s in love with you too.”

I’m not sure if it’s April or Sandra who talks because I can’t pull my eyes away from the totally hot guy who is my boyfriend. Somehow I should set them straight.

We’re not in love, it hasn’t been very long, but the words lodge in my throat.

“I know, right? He’s totally into her. So different than he was with Pammie.”

That catches my attention. My eyes shift to the girls again. “Who’s Pammie?”

It’s April who replies. “This other girl who hangs out sometimes. They hooked up a few times, nothing serious, but he broke it off. She’s still got it bad for him, but that’s Pammie. She likes to be the one who does the dumping rather than the other way around and he was never serious about her, so don’t worry.”

Actually, I didn’t even think of it to worry until she told me not to worry. Fu

walks up to us. “You win?” I ask.

He’s standing right in front of me, my eyes level with his…well, his crotch. And again his pervertedness is rubbing off on me because I kind of want to stare.

“Do you have to ask?”

“Of course not. I should have known, big head.”

“That’s what I love about you, A

“She looks like she’s about to pass out.” Sandra starts fa

with me. Wish she could meet them too. I never would have thought it coming here, but this night has been perfect.

“Dude, I forgot to tell you, I saw your dad the other day.” Bo says as he walks up and Tegan freezes. Bo doesn’t seem to notice because he continues. “He had

some chick with him. I swear she couldn’t have been older than twenty-two. Your dad’s got game!”

Now it’s Tegan who looks like he’s going to pass out. I’ve seen him upset, but never, ever anything like the lost, angry look clouding his eyes right now.

“Yeah…good for him.” He’s trying to play it off with a shrug, but I see the dents in his armor, I just don’t know what to do about it.

“How’s he doing anyway? Tim?” This time it’s Rick who asks.

I’m not sure if Tim is a safer subject or not—not when knowing his dad left because he couldn’t take Tim’s injury.

“I’m go

We talk for about fifteen more minutes, but I can’t stop thinking about Tegan. The girls and I exchange phone numbers and I’m excited to have met new friends.

Friends I will introduce to Emily. It hurts too much to keep her out of this part of my life, but I can’t enjoy it now. My mind is with him.

“I’m going to find Tegan.” They tell me goodbye and walk away.

Soon I’m sifting through people again on my way to the kitchen. As soon as I round the corner, he’s there. Not looking at me and not alone. “It was good seeing

you, Pammie. But I gotta get back. My girl’s waiting for me downstairs.” The only reason I can hear him is because we’re in a hallway, him at one end and me at the other. It’s empty and though there’s music, he’s speaking loudly for her to hear and enabling me to hear too. But I don’t really give a crap about why or how I can hear him. What I do care about is, Pammie is hot. Like hot enough that she takes my breath away.

Ski

But then…he’d said his girl is downstairs. His girl being me. There’s a Pepsi in one of his hands and a bottle of water in the other. For me. It all should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. How can I ever compete with her? Maybe I don’t have to…

“Yeah, I saw you with her. I thought you didn’t want a relationship? I thought you had too much on your plate to be with anyone?”

“I do have a lot I’m dealing with and I didn’t want a relationship, but things change. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So things changed because of her? You can do so much better, Tegan. We look much better together.”

I feel as though someone has socked me in the gut. I can hardly breathe.

“No thanks and on that note, I’m out. And don’t ever say anything about her again.” Tegan tries to walk around her, but she stops him, a hand on the same chest I touched earlier.

“Wait…I…” And then she leans forward and kisses him. Her lips. My boyfriend. It’s only a couple seconds. Everything in me breaks. I want to run. I should run.

It hurts too bad to see this, because she’s right. They do look good together. But you know what? I don’t care. And as much as the instinct to run rears inside me. I don’t. Not away at least. I run toward them, because this boy is mine and I’m not going down without a fight.

Chapter Sixteen

THE RETURN OF ROCKY

Before I reach them, Tegan’s already pushing her away. The drinks hit the floor, liquid going everywhere. “What the hell, Pammie?!”

Later I’ll realize I had time to stop myself, but in this moment, it doesn’t feel like it. My hands are out and I push her. “Yeah, what the hell?” Okay, I’m sure this doesn’t strike you as a shock, but me? I’m not the fighting kind of girl. Right now? I could totally box with her. Maybe give her a taste of my right hook that Tegan’s always talking about.

“Um, excuse you, bitch, but you better not push me again.”

“Um, excuse you, bitch, but you better not kiss my boyfriend again.” The little A

been pushed around too much in my life.

“And what are you going to do about it if I do?” People are starting to fill the hallway. Pammie looks around, noticing. “You’re delusional if you think he really wants you.”

Tegan cuts in. “Shut up, Pammie. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tegan reaches for me. “Come on, baby. Let’s go.”

But I can’t. I pull myself out of his reach. “You’re delusional if you think throwing yourself at a guy who dumped you and kissing him will make him want you.”

There! Take that!

“Screw you!” Pammie comes at me to push me. I have no clue where it comes from, but I manage to dodge her and push her instead. She slips in the spilled soda