Flat-Out Matt

 Soon his kisses traveled from her lips to her neck. Then to the top of her chest, getting harder, more urgent. Occasionally he’d pause in one spot, tasting her skin, savoring the co

He met her eyes as she fully undressed him, and that adorable, flirty glint of his filled his face. “Now there’s just one more piece of clothing we have to get rid of.”

He kissed his way down her breasts and stomach until he was kneeling in front of her. Julie wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand up, and she couldn’t help the noise that escaped her lips as he took his time getting off her underwear. How could anybody be so patient? Fortunately he was leading things here because she could have easily been convinced to skip all of these delightful steps and just… Oh, God… Matt stayed where he was, his hands caressing the backs of her legs as his lips kissed her thighs. Julie shut her eyes and ran her hands through her hair as he meticulously worked his way a bit higher. Then he stopped, staying where he was for an all-too-short few moments, before standing in front of her again.

“Matt….” she breathed.

While his tongue slipped inside her mouth again, he lifted her leg, resting her foot on the rim of the tub. Matt, Julie noticed, might be socially inept in a myriad of ways, but he was anything but inept now. Everything he did was effortless, smooth. His hand glided over her back, then down lower, pulling her against him for a minute, and then letting her fall away so he could continue gliding that hand to the top of her leg, to her i

Julie had to pull her mouth from his so that she could breathe. She dropped her head forward, resting against his chest as he worked his hand against her. Just as she was getting close to being as heated as she ever had with anyone, he stopped.

“No,” she murmured, hearing the whimper in her tone. “Keep going.”

He lifted her chin up, kissed her cheek, and put his mouth by her ear. “We’re going to take our time.”

She groaned, making him laugh. “But you said what I want, when I want. I want now.”

He laughed again. “Trust me.”

So, because she did trust him completely, she didn’t protest as he washed her hair, soaped every part of her body, and teased her with lingering, unhurried touches. Besides, she knew that two could play at this game, so she returned the tease, taking the time to let herself get comfortable with him and with everywhere that her hands were starting to explore. It was impossible not to take a certain kind of satisfaction as Matt bit his lip when she let her hand graze between his legs.

She was surprised at how easy it was to be with anyone like this. She was… touching him. Quite intimately. Shouldn’t she be more nervous? More self-conscious? But she wasn’t. It didn’t matter to her that she hadn’t exactly been doing crunches and lunges all year in preparation for Matt seeing her naked because they were about more than that.

Later, in bed, Julie knew that no one had ever been so grateful to have the hot water run out. Not that she had anything to compare it to, but whatever Matt was doing with his tongue to her under the sheets right now was pretty unbelievable. Technically, what he was doing to her for the second time, but she wasn’t about to bring numbers and math and geekiness into this. Although the thought occurred to her that, considering Matt took every conceivable thing to an outrageously academic level, there was an extremely good chance that he’d extensively researched female anatomy and become some sort of expert on the subject.

But since he was the first person to make her body tremble in a way that only she had made happen before…. Well, from now on, she would never complain when he got so engrossed in his laptop that he failed to hear anything that she was saying.

God, he was thorough and attentive in a way she couldn’t have dreamed of. Julie moved her hand down, stroking his shoulder. She was nearly delirious.

But it wasn’t just what he was doing to her physically that was making her so euphoric. It was him, being close with him. Trading touch, and sound, and taste with the person she cared so much for. How, even though she didn’t know exactly what to do, Matt relaxed her, guided her, responded to her. Julie knew that for so much of their time together over this past year, she had been the one in control, steering him in different directions with Celeste, trying to bring him out of his own shell, and helping him find himself again in the craziness of his family. Now it was his turn to lead her, to be in charge, and she needed that from him. She liked that he was taking care of her. He would do what he was doing to her right now for the rest of the night if she let him.

And that one thought did interrupt her absolute bliss.

Julie reached her hand down and lured Matt up to her. She kissed him deeply, showing him how much she wanted him. “Matt?”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Matthew Watkins, are you stalling?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you stalling?”

“What…? Why are…? Do you want me to stop? Julie, we can stop anytime you want to. You know that, right?”

He sounded so cute and worried that it just confirmed her thought. “You are stalling.”

Matt slid his arms underneath her shoulders and held her. He didn’t say anything for a minute, but she had learned to wait him out. “Maybe a little,” he whispered.

“Why?”

“Julie, until this morning, I thought that I’d lost you. That maybe I’d never even had you to lose at all. And now you’re here, and….”

“Matt.” Julie kissed him again, reassuring him.

He dropped his head, nuzzling into her neck. “I don’t want to lose you. Not again.”

“You won’t.”

“What if this changes things? What if we’re moving too fast, and you flip out tomorrow, and that’s the end? I don’t want that to happen.”

She lifted his face and made him look at her. The light from the hallway was enough that she could see how genuinely scared he was. Trusting—after being failed by so many, including her—must be incredibly hard for him. “This is not happening too fast. How could it be? We’ve been together in one way or another for a year now. I want this. I want you. I know without any doubt that I’m here right now for all the right reasons. And I know that you are, too.”

“I love you, Julie.”

“God, I love you, too. I do. I’m sorry about everything I said to you last spring. About not being able to love you. It took me a stupid amount of time to… to reconcile you and… Fi

“I know what a complete idiot I was.”

“Stop. I’m not mad anymore in the least. I’m here now because I choose to be, not because I’m confused. I’m not going anywhere. Really. Tell me you believe me.” He didn’t say anything. “Matt, tell me that you believe me.”

“I’m considering whether or not to believe you. I need to run an algorithm on this.”

“That’s not fu

“You might be trying to trick me into sleeping with you.”

“Is it working? Because I am desperate to sleep with you.”

He was shaking. Not dramatically so, but enough. He was always so confident, preferring to change the subject than deal with what he didn’t want to discuss, and it was so unlike Matt to ever be nervous. To react in a way that he couldn’t control. She knew that he didn’t like it, that it made him uncomfortable, and yet it was a side of him that she absolutely adored when he let her see it.