The Wanted

I laughed sadly. If only it were that easy.

“Try,” Elise said more forcefully.

I dipped my head in agreement. “Okay, I’ll try.” I said. Lifting my eyes to meet hers, I whispered, “Thank you for stopping me.”

She stood and patted my head. “Don’t mention it.”

I wondered if I could do it. Move on while still holding hope that I’d see her again. It seemed like a candle burning at both ends. It was going to burn no matter what end I picked up.

I found myself following her out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen. Rash had passed out on the floor where I’d shoved him, his arms wrapped around the stool like it was a woman. She took two metal cups, one pink and one green, from the cupboard and poured us both a drink from her own flask.

I took it. I wanted it. Didn’t want it. Just didn’t want to think about anything anymore.

She clinked her glass with mine, the only other sounds the murmurs of people sleeping satisfied and safe. “To living your life,” she said, and then she sculled the brown liquid in one gulp with a smile.

I couldn’t smile back, but I didn’t feel like I was going to explode anymore, which was a step in some direction. I wasn’t sure there was a right direction. Putting the cup to my lips, I drank.

ROSA

“Rosa, what’s wrong with you? Are you all right?” Judith shook my shoulder as if my body were a door she couldn’t open, her big blue eyes blinking away sleep and crusted mascara grit.

I was somewhere else. In the trees, my feet pressed hard against a branch, the scent of smoke and sweet pine rushing over my face and teasing through strands of my hair. My mind sought escape for one small moment. But the normal sound of her voice shattered my dream.

“Your voice…” I started.

One daisy-shaped pajama button pinched between her fraying fingers. “Dad prefers it.”

I gazed down at my dress, muddy and torn. “I should change,” I said, uncomfortable under her stare and her sudden admission. I didn’t want her to confide in me. I had enough secrets poking holes in my flappy existence without adding hers to my list. It was liable to squeeze something important out.

“I’ll get some ice for your face.” She smiled softly. I couldn’t tell if she enjoyed seeing me this way or she felt bad. Then she flipped her hair and muttered, “I can’t wait to tell Dad what De

She put her hand to my bruised cheek and cocked her head. I winced as her fingers brushed over my hot, raised skin. I retreated from her touch. Her hands were laced with poison. She was much worse than Denis was. An evil layered with crazy, beneath a sweet face.

I grabbed an armful of clothes without really paying any attention and ran to the bathroom to get away from her. I heard her say, “ice,” and the bedroom door opened and closed. I turned on the shower and quickly washed, eager to fall into bed. I was so tired even Judith’s teeth grinding wouldn’t keep me awake tonight.

I wrapped a towel around my aching body and sighed at the clothes in my hands. I’d grabbed two pairs of pants and a bra. I tried to open the door and it hit something. When I pushed harder, the door clanged against metal.

I pressed my face to the small gap. “Judith, did you put something in front of the door?” My eyes took in the small slice of view afforded by the crack. I looked up and then I looked down, my heart jumping into my mouth. I leapt back from the door in fright.

A slither of Grant’s dark face smiled at me. “You should come out, dear. I have something to tell you.” His voice was dripping with sickly sweetness, drawn out like the stretch of molasses.

I lingered on the other side of the door, quivering in a towel. No way was I going out there.

“I’m good,” I said, pulling the towel tighter.

“I heard what happened with my son. You can rest assured, he is being punished.” He was a slick of oil, bright with rainbows playing across its surface, but dangerous, one wrong step, a slip, and you’d break your back.

I was sick of this game. Groaning, I pulled my hands through my wet hair. “What the hell do you want from me?” I knew it was pointless but I said it anyway, my voice hollowing out at the end. “How could you do that? How could you break someone’s spine for your own benefit?”

Silence followed for so long that I thought he was gone. I moved to the handle slowly, and then he spoke. “Well, the test had to be accurate. The fact that you know our test subject… well, that’s just a bonus.”

I wanted to scream, but it was futile. I knew he did this to Gwen because of me and I hated him for it, the hate extending and wrapping around my own wrist too. It was my fault.

“Your time with us is nearly ovvver. My procedure has been moved up. The test will be in one week and then… I will walk again.” He clapped his hands together once.

I laughed bitterly. “Forgive me if I don’t celebrate with you.”

He pushed the door hard, and I flew backwards towards the bathroom wall. He leered at me sitting on the tiles in a towel, shaking despite telling my body to straighten up.

“Since you have refused to cooperate,” he growled, “you’ve left me no choice other than to execute you and your friend.” I knew this. “And since you’ve been so stubborn, your demise will not be an easy one. No…” He held up one finger, pointed like a knife. “You’ve helped me make an important decision.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice losing its tiny edge.

His eyes were steel, nothing in them but cold, hardness. “Let’s just say, your reunion will be a short one.”

What did that mean?

“What do you mean?” I asked, scrambling to my knees, gripping the towel with one hand.

He rolled backwards, his eyes on his feet. The guard holding open the door let him pass while I crawled after him screaming, “What do you mean? Reunion with who?”

He ignored my screams. I tried to follow him, but the guard pushed me back. He shook his head, muttering, “Stop, Miss.”

I watched him roll away from beneath the arm of the guard. Judith passed him, a bag of ice and a tea towel in one hand. She leaned down to kiss Grant on the cheek. “Night, night, Daddy,” she drawled, using her twanging voice again. I cringed.

“You’re such a good daughter,” he crooned, smoothing her hair down.

She skipped towards me. “Let’s take care of that face,” she said once we were inside.

I breathed in, my lungs expanding too far.

What did he mean?

I breathed out, my lungs scrunching down flat.

What did he mean?

Electrified chills ran through my body like I’d stuck a fork in a toaster.

The next morning, after breakfast, I went back to our room. Judith skipped off to bake a cake or paint Grant’s toenails. I didn’t know—whatever a suck up did. I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Denis to take me downstairs, seething. Half my face was purple and all of my insides were blaring red with rage. I tried to remind myself that I needed him. Gwen needed him. But all I wanted to do was shove whatever alliance we had made deep into the rubbish bin and jump up and down on top of it.

When the knock on the door came, I considered ignoring it. But then the dragging and pulling would start. I had no choice.

Denis’ face was dark as shadows of shadows. He’d kept up a good act at breakfast, but now the mask had slipped off.

“I’m sorry,” he dribbled, and I wanted to slap him.

I glared at him, making sure the whole bruise was right in his field of vision. One blue eye crinkled in pain at the sight of me.