Ruin

“Four,” he argued. “Always go for an even number.”

“And we’ll live—”

“Wherever the hell we want.”

“But I will need to finish school.” I sighed and kissed him on the cheek. “Even though you’re loaded, I have to finish school — I chose a major.”

“You did?” Wes sat up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was a surprise.” I gri

“Teacher?” he guessed.

“Nope.”

“Exotic Dancer?”

I laughed. “Is that a major?”

“It should be.”

“Nursing,” I whispered. “I want to be a nurse. I want to help in the cancer units. I want — I want to help people like you helped me. I want to help them push away the nightmares, the darkness. I want to rescue them, like you rescued me.” I felt more tears stream down my face. “You rescued me and I found my ruin.” I bit down on my lip. “I’m ruined for you — and I won’t ever be the same. It’s the greatest gift anyone’s ever given me.”

He wiped away my tears. “Ruin?”

“Yeah, a ruin, because in helping me knock down all those demons, you built me back up again. And for that, I’ll never be able to repay you.”

“Which is why we’re having four kids, not three,” he whispered.

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too… being with you has been the greatest gift anyone could ever give me, and to think it was all because you assaulted me on your first day of class.”

“I did not—”

“Shh, Lamb.” Wes’s lips touched mine. His tongue tasted like champagne. I kissed him back with everything I had inside of me. The kiss wasn’t the end. It was the begi

We kissed until my mouth was swollen from his lips. He tasted every part of me, yet refused to take what I wanted to give him most — myself. He said he wanted something to look forward to when he woke up. Leave it to Wes to use sex as a reason not to die. I had to laugh at his explanation. Then the laughter faded to soft gasps and quiet sighs as his hands roamed all over my body, kissing my chest, my arms, my fingers, he even ran his hands up my calves, kissing the back of my knees as if knees were so special they deserved attention too.

I moaned when his mouth returned to mine and twisted my hands in his dark blond hair. Our tongues danced, our mouths pushed, lips pressed, bodies as close as our clothes would actually allow us. I fell asleep with my mouth on his. He fell asleep with his hands bracing my hips. When I woke up, I was starting the countdown until I married that man. A year from that day. A year from December fifth, and I was going to be Mrs. Kiersten Michels.

Chapter Forty-Five

I dreamt of my mom. Of her long blond hair and happy blue eyes. She was so beautiful. She asked me if I was scared. I told her no. We were sitting on the red swing set my dad had bought me for my sixth birthday. She lifted my hands to her lips and kissed my fingers and told me that it would be okay. For some reason, I believed her. Before she disappeared, she pressed her hands to my chest and closed her eyes.

Weston

“Wes,” Angela murmured. “It’s time to get up, sweetie. We’ve got to get you prepped.”

I yawned and nodded then nudged Kiersten awake. She clung to me for a few brief minutes before leaving the room. I’d see her right before I went in, and I knew she wanted to go get changed since the surgery was going to be at least ten hours.

“How do you feel?” Angela asked like she always did.

“Good.” My eyes narrowed. “So strange. I had a dream about my mom. You look a lot like her.”

“Really?” She tilted her head. “I imagine she was beautiful, so I’ll take that as a compliment.”

I laughed as she helped me into the hospital gown. “Oh, she was, believe me.”

Once I was in the gown, Angela hooked up my IV again and gave me some anti-nausea medication. It was over really quick. My dad came in to give me a hug. Lisa strolled in with a balloon and a teddy bear.

I took the gift and gave her a hug.

The football team didn’t know I was in surgery. My professors didn’t know. But Coach did, so when he walked into the room bawling like a baby, it didn’t take me by surprise. We’d been through hell and back. It was surreal seeing a three hundred pound lineman cry — he’d played for Florida State around twenty years ago. He shook his head and grabbed my hand.

“You beat this and I’ll let you play in the bowl game.”

Laughing, I squeezed his hand. “You better let me play. I’m the star quarterback after all.”

“That you are.” He chuckled and patted my hand. “See you when you wake up.”

“When I wake up,” I repeated after him as he walked out of my room.

Gabe showed up soon after that.

He sat down in silence.

“You okay, man?” I asked.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He still refused to look at me.

“Gabe…”

“I asked God to give me the cancer. I still wish He would. You’re too good, man. You don’t… I just—” A string of curses poured out that shocked even me. “My mind still can’t comprehend it.”

“Stop trying.” I sighed. “And remember what I said, let it make you different.”

“I’ve been clean for three years.” Gabe rocked back in his chair. “This is the first time since then that I’ve been tempted to throw it all away. The pain is too much and then I feel selfish for thinking about myself. I’m not strong like you.”

“You are,” I argued. “I know you are.”

“Thanks.” Gabe stood and walked over to me. “Thanks for being my friend.”

“Well, Lisa did pay me…” I joked.

“Good to know you still have a sense of humor, jackass.” Gabe smacked my shoulder and hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. “You beat the hell out of this cancer or I’m hunting you down, got it?”

“Got it.”

Gabe started walking out of the room when I called him back. “Gabe?”

“Yeah?”

“Be my best man?”

“Best man?”

“Yeah, in three hundred and sixty-six days, I’m getting married to Kiersten. Be my best man?”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” He chuckled. “Does Kiersten know about this?”

“Of course. She loves me, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” Gabe laughed again. “See you on the other side, man.”

Ten minutes went by and then Kiersten walked in.

She was wearing a white dress.

“Sorry. This was all I could find on short notice.”

“You’re wearing a—”

“A wedding dress.” She laughed. “I thought it would give you some much needed inspiration. Now you can dream about me in a white dress — you taking me out of said white dress — me saying yes when you ask me to marry you… yes to all of the above.”

“Come here.” I lifted my hands to her. In an instant she was in my arms, her head buried against my chest. “I love you, Little Lamb.”

“I love you too, Wolf.” She sobbed. “You’re my favorite.”

“Favorite what?”

Kiersten drew back her eyes wide with hope. “Favorite everything. You’re my favorite. Out of all the things I could have in the world that would be my favorite, you win. You win all of it.”

“Wow, pretty high praise.” I smiled and dug my hands into her hair.

“What do you love more?” she teased. “My hair or my heart?”

“Why give me only two choices? Don’t leave out your legs, your laugh, the way you bite your lip when you’re thinking, the feel of your breath on my face, the sound of your voice in the morning, the way you taste, the three freckles on your nose, the fan of your eyelashes, the caring spirit, the determined soul — so why stop at your hair and your heart? How do you expect me to choose? When what I love the most about you — is you.”

I could tell she was trying not to cry. Her face was flushed, her eyes blurred with tears.

“I. Love. You.” I looked directly into her eyes. “It’s not the end.”