Binding 13

Even though you're leaving.

Even though you don’t feel the same.

Even though loving you is going to break my heart.

I love you with everything I have.

And I probably always will.

"Well, that makes you one of very few." I exhaled a shaky breath. "I was hated growing up, Joh

"Claire Biggs and Pierce Ó Neill's girlfriend?" Joh

"Lizzie Young," I confirmed with a nod. "Yeah, they went to my primary school, and honestly, if it wasn’t for them, I would have been completely alone."

"But they moved on to Tommen after primary school?"

"They did."

"And you went to BCS?"

"Yeah," I croaked out.

Bewilderment was etched on Joh

And for a guy like him, it probably was.

He wasn’t short of friends or adoring fangirls.

He was popular and a big star.

He didn’t have the faintest idea of what it felt like to be on the other side of the popularity spectrum.

Where I resided.

Joh

"No." Inhaling a steadying breath, I continued to open myself up for danger. "It was worse."

Joh

Repressing a shudder, I forced a small nod.

"Sha

"Every day," I confessed.

"Christ," he practically snarled as he ran a hand through his hair. "No wonder your Ma lost it on me that day."

I sighed heavily. "It wasn’t the first trip from school to the A&E."

"Jesus." He blew out a harsh breath and pulled me closer. "How bad did it get?"

I shrugged helplessly, unable to get the words out, or maybe I was just unwilling to verbalize the trauma.

I wanted it gone from my memory.

I wanted that part of my life erased forever.

"Sha

To the point that I wanted to die.

"Bad enough that my Mam had to bury herself in debt to transfer me to Tommen," I admitted, my voice barely audible. "And bad enough that I let her do it," I added, forcing myself to look at him and hating the sympathetic expression I found him wearing.

"Those girls?" he asked then. "At the pub?"

I nodded. "Ciara was the worst."

His eyes darkened. "The blonde one."

I nodded weakly. "I couldn’t go back to BCS after Christmas. Too much had happened, and it was getting out of hand."

"Getting out of hand?" Joh

"Oh, I know," I agreed. "But it was really starting to affect my brother and my parents were worried."

"Your brother," Joh

"Yeah." I nodded. "Joey was constantly getting suspended for fighting over me. He already had four suspensions because of me by Christmas, and Mam was petrified that he was going to get himself expelled in his leaving cert year. Dad was furious because he thought Joey's behavior would cost him his spot on the minors. It was a total nightmare." Shrugging, I exhaled a heavy sigh and said, "In the end, Mam convinced our father that it would be better for Joey if they pulled me from BCS."

"What about you?" Joh

"It was the best decision that was ever made for me," I replied without hesitation.

"And Tommen?" Joh

"Aside from the Ronan trouble, I haven't had any problems at Tommen," I replied honestly, cheeks burning under his keen observation. "Oh, and Bella threatening war on me for talking to you."

"And this?" He trailed his fingers over my neck, blue eyes scorching me. "I need to know about this."

I shivered into his touch. "I told you."

"Don’t lie to me," he coaxed.

"Then don’t make me," I pleaded, knowing that I was giving everything away to him – my heart, my secrets, my trust – and was unable to stop. "Please don’t push me."

"Sha

I sagged in relief. "Thank you."

"But I'm going to find out," he whispered. "Whether you tell me or not." He stroked my cheek with his thumb. "I'll find out and I'll make them suffer."

My heart seized in my chest.

I knew this.

He wasn’t going to let it go.

I could see it in his eyes that night in his bedroom.

Joh