Mything Persons

ing for the other to risk the next blast.

"Well, okay," Massha agreed at last. "But watch

yourself, Hot Stuff. Remember, poison can come in

pretty bottles."

So, under the ever-watchful glares of my assistants, I

retired a few steps down the road for my first words

alone with....

"Say, what is your name, anyway?"

"Hmmm? Oh. I'm Lua

me up. That's a pretty mean-looking crew you hang

around with. I had heard you had a following, but I

hadn't realized how nasty they were."

"Oh, they're okay once you get to know them. If you

worked with them on a day-to-day basis, you'd find out

that they... heck, none of us are really as dangerous or

effective as the publicity hype cuts us out to be."

I was suddenly aware of her eyes on me. Her expres-

sion was strange ... sort of a bitter half-smile.

"I've always heard that really powerful people tended

to understate what they can do, that they don't have to

brag. I never really believed it until now."

I really didn't know what to say to that. I mean, my

reputation had gotten big enough that I was starting to

get used to being recognized and talked about at the

Bazaar, but what she was displaying was neither fear

nor envy. Among my own set of friends, admiration or

praise was always carefully hidden within our own

brand of rough humor or teasing. Faced with the undi-

luted form of the same thing, I was at a loss as to how to

respond.

"Ummm, what was it you wanted to talk to me

about?"

Her expression fell and she dropped her eyes.

"This is so embarrassing. Please be patient with me,

72 Robert Asprin

MYTH-ING PERSONS

73

Skeeve ... is it all right if I call you Skeeve? I haven't

had much experience with saying 'I'm sorry'... heck, I

haven't had much experience with people at all. Just

partners and pigeons. Now that I'm here, I really don't

know what to say."

"Why don't we start at the begi

ease her discomfort. "Did you really swindle the

Deveels back at the Bazaar?"

Lua

"That's what we do. Matt and me. That and ru

even though I think sometimes we're better at ru

than working scams. Maybe if we were better at co

people, we wouldn't get so much practice at ru

Her words thudded at me like a padded hammer. I

had wanted very badly to hear that she was i

that it had all been a mistake. I mean, she was so pretty,

so sweet, I would have bet my life that she was i

yet here she was openly admitting her guilt to me.

"But why?" I managed at last. "I mean, how did you

get involved in swindling people to begin with?"

Her soft shoulders rose and fell in a helpless shrug.

"I don't know. It seemed like a good idea when Matt

first explained it to me. I was dying to get away from the

farm, but I didn't know how to do anything but farm-

work for a living... until Matt explained to me how

easy it was to get money away from people by playing

on their greed. 'Promise them something for nothing,'

he said, 'or for so little that they think they're swindling

you.' When he put it that way, it didn't seem so bad. It

was more a matter of being smart enough to trick people

who thought they were taking advantage of you."

"... by selling them magical items that weren't." I

finished for her. "Tell me, why didn't you just go into

the magic trade for real?"

Her head came up, and I caught a quick flash of fire

in her sad blue eyes.

"We didn't know any magic, so we had to fake it.

You probably can't understand that, since you're the

real McCoy. I knew that the first time I saw you at Pos-

sletum. We were going to try to fake our way into the

Court Magician spot until you showed up and flashed a

bit of real magic at the crown. Even Matt had to admit

that we were outclassed, and we kind of faded back be-

fore anyone asked us to show what we could do. I think

it was then that I...."

She broke off, giving me a startled, guilty look as if

she had been about to say something she shouldn't.

"Go on," I urged, my curiosity piqued.

"It's nothing, really," she said hastily. "Now it's

your turn. Since I've told you my story, maybe you

won't mind me asking how you got started as a magi-

cian."

That set me back a bit. Like her, I had been raised on

a farm. I had run away, though, pla

fortune as a master thief, and it was only my chance

meeting with my old teacher Garkin and eventually

Aahz that had diverted my career goals toward magic.

In hindsight, my motives were not discernibly better

than hers, but I didn't want to admit it just now. I kind

of liked the way she looked at me while laboring under

the illusion that I was someone noble and special.

"That's too long a tale to go into just now," I said

brusquely. "There are still a few more answers I'd like

from you. How come you used our place as a getaway

route f rom Deva?"

"Oh, that was Vic's idea. We teamed up with him just

before we started working our con at the Bazaar. When

it looked like the scam was starting to turn sour, he said

74 Robert Asprin MYTH-ING PERSONS 75

he knew a way-off dimension that no one would be

watching. Matt and I didn't even know it was your place

until your doorman asked if we were there to see you.

Matt was so scared about having to tangle with you that

he wanted to forget the whole thing and find another

way out, but Vic showed us the door and it looked so

easy we just went along with him."

"Of course, it never occurred to you that we'd get

stuck with the job of trying to bring you back."

"You better believe it occurred to us. I mean, we

didn't think you'd have to do it. We expected you'd be

mad at us for getting you involved and come after us

yourself. Vic kept saying that we shouldn't worry, that

if you found us here in Limbo he could fix it so you

wouldn't be able to take us back. I didn't know he was

thinking about setting up a frame until he sprang it on

your partner."

I tried to let this console me, but it didn't work.

"I notice that once you found out that Aahz was

being framed, you still went along with it."

"Well... I didn't want to, but Vic kept saying that if

you two were as good as everyone said, that your

partner could get out of jail by himself. We figured that

he'd escape before the execution, but with the whole

dimension hunting him as a fugitive that he'd be too

busy ru

I was starting to get real anxious to meet this guy Vic.

It also occurred to me that of all the potential problems

our growing reputation could bring down on us, this

was one we had never expected.

"And you believed him?"

Lua

"Well... you're supposed to be able to do some

pretty incredible things, and I don't want you to think I

don't believe in your abilities, but I was worried enough

that I sneaked back to let you know what was going on

.. .just in case."

It was almost fu

ing us the warning. Almost, but not quite. My mind

kept ru

believed in me completely.

"I guess my only other question is who is this citizen

that Aahz is supposed to have killed?"

"Didn't anybody tell you?" she blinked. "It's Vic.

He's from this dimension... you know, a vampire.

Anyway, he's hiding out until the whole thing's resolved

one way or another. I don't think even Matt knows

where he is. Vampires are normally suspicious, and

after I sneaked out the first time, he's even gotten cagey

around us. He just drops in from time to time to see

how we're doing."

Now I knew I wanted to meet friend Vic. If I was

lucky, I'd meet him before Aahz did.

"Well, I do appreciate you filling me in on the prob-

lem. Now, if you'll just come back to Blut with us and

explain things to the authorities, my gratitude will be

complete."

Lua

"Hold on a minute! Who said anything about going

to the authorities? I can't do that! That would be dou-

blecrossing my partners. I don't want to see you or your

friends get hurt, but I can't sacrifice my own to save

them."

An honest crook is both incongruous and infuriating.

Aahz had often pointed this out to me when some point

in my ethic kept me from going along with one of his

schemes, and now I was starting to understand what he

was talking about.

"But then why are you here?"

"I wanted to warn you. Vic has been thinking that

76 Robert Asprin MYTH-ING PERSONS 77

you might come into Limbo after your partner, and he's

setting up some kind of trap if you did. If he was right,

I thought you should know that you're walking into

trouble. I figured that if you came, you'd look up the

Dispatcher, so I waited there and followed you when

you showed up. I just wanted to warn you is all. That

and...."

She dropped her eyes again and lowered her voice

until I could hardly hear her.

"... I wanted to see you again. I know it's silly,

but...."

As flattering as it was, this time I was unimpressed.

"Yeah, sure." I interrupted. "You're so interested in

me you're willing to let my partner sit on a murder rap

just so you can watch me go through my paces."