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He seemed a little a
do or say something to cheer him up. Before I could
think of anything, however, my apprentice decided to
join the conversation.
"This is quite a layout you've got, Fast Worker.
MYTH-ING PERSONS 55
Mind if I ask exactly what it is you do?"
As always, Massha's "people sense" proved to be
better than mine. The little vampire brightened notice-
ably at the compliment, and his chest puffed out as he
launched into his narration.
"Well, the job was originally billed as Dispatcher...
you know, as in Dispatcher of Nightmares. But anyway,
like any job, it turned out to involve a lot of things that
aren't on the job description. Now it's sort of a com-
bination of dispatcher, travel agent, lost and found, and
missing persons bureau."
"Nightmares?" I questioned, unable to contain my-
self.
"Sure. Anything that comes out of Limbo, be it
dreams or the real thing, comes through here. Where're
you from that you didn't know that?"
Obviously, I wasn't wild about continuing on the sub-
ject of our place of origin.
"Ahhh, can you really help us find our friend? He's
new in town, like us."
"That's right. You're looking for someone. Sorry. I
get a little carried away sometimes when I talk about my
work. New in town, hmmm? Shouldn't be that hard to
locate. We don't get that many visitors."
"He might be in jail," Massha blurted out before I
realized what she was going to say.
"In jail?" The vampire frowned. "The only outsider
in jail right now is. ... Say! Now I recognize you! The
eyes threw me for a minute. You're Skeeve, aren't
you?"
"Screen 97B!" he declared proudly, gesturing
vaguely over his shoulder. "There's someone a dozen
dimensions over from here, runs a hot dog stand, who
features you in his most frequent nightmares. You, a
dragon, and a Pervert. Am I correct in assuming that
56 Robert Asprin
the current resident in our fair jail is none other than
your sidekick Aahz?"
"To be correct, that's Pervect, not Pervert... but ex-
cept for that you're right. That's my partner you've got
locked up there, and we aim to get him out."
I was probably talking too much, but being recog-
nized in a dimension I'd never heard of had thrown me
off balance. Then again, the Dispatcher didn't seem all
that hostile at the discovery. More curious than any-
thing else.
"Well, well. Skeeve himself. I never expected to meet
you in person. Sometime you must tell me what you did
to that poor fellow to rate the number-one slot on his hit
parade of nightmares."
"What about Aahz?'' I said impatiently.
"You know he's up for murder, don't you?"
"Heard it. Don't believe it. He's a lot of things, but a
murderer isn't one of them."
"There's a fair amount of evidence." Vilhelm
shrugged. "But tell me. What's with the vampire get-
up. You're no more a vampire than I'm a Klahd."
"It's a long story. Let's just say it seemed to be the
local uniform."
"Let's not," the dispatcher gri
... free of charge, of course. I've got time and lots of
questions about the other dimensions. Maybe we can
trade a little information while you're here."