Ecstasy

“What the fuck was that?” I hiss.

Some dude comes up beside us and I glance over at him, recognizing Dwight Morris. He’s the ru

I stare at him like he’s stupid. Did he not just see what the fuck happened there?

“Looks like you could use this,” he tells me, and he’s not smiling, which makes me feel marginally better. His golden eyes go to Alex, but he still holds the cup out to me. “That wasn’t cool, man.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

I can see Alex’s jaw clench, his expression stormy as he turns to his friend. “Do you not fucking remember what this bitch did last week?” he asks, like I’m not even standing here.

I take the drink from Dwight’s outstretched hand. Without hesitating, I throw it in Alex’s fucking face.

Alex drops my hand, taking an instinctive step back, liquor and soda all over him, ru

Silence—save for the music in the living room—seems to descend in the kitchen from the few people in here.

Beyond the sliding glass doors, I hear people splashing in the pool, and in the living room, the party is still raging on.

But right here, in this kitchen, the only thing raging is Alex.

His mouth is open as he blinks rapidly, wipes his hand over his face and through his light brown hair. He shakes his hands out, sending drops of liquid splattering on me and Dwight, who takes a step back, his eyes flitting from me to Alex and back again.

I watch him swallow and take another step back.

“I’m just go

I turn to face Alex, cross my arms over my chest. “That’s the fucking least of what you deserve, you dick.”

He reaches behind him, to the sink, and grabs a hand towel, wipes his face and his chest, then throws the towel past me, on the marble island of the kitchen.

Finally, his dark brown eyes co

“Open your fucking mouth or I’ll break your goddamn teeth,” he growls at me.

I don’t know if anyone else is in here, but I hear nothing. No one protesting, coming to my aid.

For one stupid second, I wonder where Eli is.

“Fuck you,” I spit at Alex as he leans over me, digging the bottle in deeper against my mouth. But when I say that, he forces it between my teeth and starts to pour it down my throat.

It burns and I cough, turning my head before I choke to death on tequila at this stupid house party that I should’ve never gone to.

But Alex doesn’t fucking let up.

He turns the bottle as I turn my head, and it’s still lodged between my teeth. He moves his hand from my chest to my face, forcing me still.

“Taste as good at Jamal’s cum, huh, princess?” he snarls at me, his eyes two dark pits. I jerk my head from his grip and finally I can breathe. But tequila is burning its way down my throat, into my empty stomach—I don’t remember the last time I ate—and I know, with that, and the Addie, and the molly, I’m about to be very fucked up.

Usually, with Alex, I wouldn’t care. He’d take care of me. He might be a dick and he might make fun of me, but he’d take care of me all the same.

Not tonight though.

Tonight, he’s gone way past his usual one-beer limit and tonight he’s fucking on one.

I think about calling Kylie. I think about calling my mom. My dealer, Jax. Or fuck, at this point, I’d even call Jamal. Anyone to come pick me up and take me away from this shit, but I don’t even know where my phone is. I don’t know where my phone is, and my head is already spi

Goddamn, I want a Xanax.

It’s an irrational thought, but with my heart pounding so loud I can hear it in my ears and with that look of rage still on Alex’s face as he slams the tequila bottle down on the table so hard, all of the bottles rattle against each other, it’s the only hope I’ve got.

At least then I could fucking roofie myself and not have to live through whatever fresh hell my ex has in store for me.

But I don’t have a Xa

He yanks my arm, sliding me down the counter, and tosses me over his shoulder.

My head is spi

And that’s what it feels like.

An assault.

Because whatever Alex plans to do with me out here ca

I’m hanging over his shoulder like a ragdoll, and he’s got one hand on my back, the other on my ass. His grip isn’t overly forceful but I’m working on trying not to puke, trying not to black out so I don’t drown in this pool, so it’s not like I’m going anywhere.

And when he sets me down on my feet, the rough concrete cold beneath me, I think I’m going to fall over.

But he grips my arms, keeping me upright.

Distantly, I’m aware there are people out here talking and laughing and I hear a few splashes from the pool and music that I can’t quite make out.

All I can focus on is Alex’s eyes on mine.

He’s smiling at me, which can’t be good. But his smile is so damn cute, a single dimple flashing in his tan face, his white, straight teeth fucking perfect. I see other things, too. The small dent in his bottom lip, right down the center. The flecks of amber in his dark eyes, and his long lashes.

Why do boys always have such nice lashes?

I want to ask him. I reach a hand out to touch them, but my hand goes to his face instead and his skin is so smooth, so warm beneath my hand.

“Alex,” I say his name, and it’s heavy in my mouth, like my tongue is swollen or something. “Alex,” I try again, and I can hear it, the sound, but I can’t quite tell if I’m saying it right.

God, I’m fucked up.

He’s still holding my upper arms and I see, past him, a few people looking our way. We’re by the shallow end, I know that much. But even with the tiki torches and the underwater pool lights giving off enough light to see by in the darkness, I can’t tell much beyond that. I don’t know how close we are to the pool. I don’t know how close I am to the door to the house.

I don’t know how close I am to passing out.

I sway a little in his arms.

“You wa

I shake my head. “No,” I mumble, still touching his face. “That’s not a…” I trail off, unable to say what it is I really want to say. That’s not a good idea.

It’s not even that I don’t want to swim with him.

It’s not even because of what he just did.

It’s not even the way I taste blood in my mouth, and I think it must be because he forced that bottle down my throat.

It’s that if I get in that pool, I will definitely drown.