Ecstasy

“Stop,” I whisper the word, hoping someone might see me say it, but mainly, I’m just saying it for my own satisfaction. That I did say it. I can’t get out of his grip and none of these people are going to help me because this is Alex’s house, and no one tells Alex no, but still.

At least I said it.

Here we fucking go.

But then someone comes to stand directly in front of me. And just as Alex’s fingers grab the thin material of my bikini, he says, “Alex.”

Eli. He’s looking past me, at his best friend.

I can smell him, he’s so close to me. Coconut and citrus, he smells fucking amazing. The opposite of Alex’s dark and woodsy scent. And he’s probably the only guy in here not in swimming trunks. He’s wearing black pants and a white, fitted tee instead. This close to me, his body nearly brushing mine, I can see his long, dark lashes. The lighter flecks of green in his eyes.

I swallow, feeling nervous.

Feeling like I wish I was with him right now and not Alex.

Eli is quiet.

When I’m not high as fuck, I like to be in the quiet too.

And Eli never causes a fucking scene like this.

“Oh, you wa

He’s fucking drunk off his ass.

I hate when he gets drunk. It’s like all the worst parts of his personality come out in full force. I guess I could say the same about myself but fuck.

“Fuck. Off,” I growl, and try to pull away again, moving toward Eli, but Alex only holds me tighter.

The crowd is full of dancing, screaming idiots and someone jostles Eli. Caught off guard, he’s momentarily bumped out of my view and another guy is in front of me. Someone I’ve never seen before. Blond hair, baby face, a cup in his hand, the contents of it nearly sloshing over the sides.

He’s got a broad, toothy grin on his face, his eyes on my boobs.

“Show him your tits, Zara,” Alex says against my ear. And then he runs his hand and forearm down my chest, yanking down my bikini.

The screaming and cheering reach atrociously high levels and the guy in front of me looks like he might come in his pants right here and now, his mouth forming a comical “O” as he stares at my bare breasts.

Comical, except this isn’t fucking fu

My heart is racing so fast it’s making my chest hurt, and my cheeks are flushed as Alex keeps holding down my fucking top, spi

I want to go home.

I want to go home and get to my bathroom sink and grab a benzo and fucking knock myself out and go to sleep. I want to get out of here.

But I don’t bother trying to fight Alex. What’s the fucking point? This will be over soon. He’s just getting back at me. It’s just, what we do.

“Alex!” I hear Eli’s voice again and interestingly, he sounds angry. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Eli sound…anything.

Alex is laughing, but he spins us back around and Eli is in my face, shielding my tits from view. I guess I should be grateful, but as he steps closer, his chest grazes my pebbled nipples and my breath catches in my throat.

I don’t think he even notices.

If he does, he definitely doesn’t care.

He’s staring up at Alex. “Cut it out,” he yells at him over the music and the throng of people being obnoxious as hell. I see the veins in Eli’s neck straining against his skin. I see his collarbone, too, and I can smell him all over again.

I want him to step closer.

I want to be between him and Alex.

I want more than my breasts grazing against him.

Fuck.

This is not good. The molly is fucking me all up and I shouldn’t be thinking about boning my ex and his best friend.

I close my eyes again as Alex keeps laughing. This’ll be over soon.

I just repeat it over and over in my head. This will be over soon. This will be over soon.

I’ve survived far worse than this shit. You know, like an overdose. Besides, tits are nothing to be ashamed of. Fuck him. I won’t give him the satisfaction of squirming again.

He dips his head down. “You hear that, princess? Eli wants me to let you go. If I do, how are you going to pay us back for that?”

His words light a fire under my skin and my eyes fly open.

Eli is staring right at me.

He’s still so damn close, I can feel his body heat against my chest. It’s like he’s caging me in, so no one else can see me. Just him. Just him and just Alex, at my back.

I try to squirm again out of Alex’s grip, so I can turn around and face him, but he only holds me tighter. What he doesn’t know is that despite what he’s doing, I would pay them both back. I’m so turned on the moment, I’d probably let them both take me at the same time. It’s not like I haven’t thought about it before, and this fucking molly is making me want things I can’t have. Things I shouldn’t be thinking about. Things I—

“Hey!” Alex’s voice suddenly turns cold. He pulls up my top, let’s go of my arms and yanks me into his chest, his arm around mine, covering my breasts. “I didn’t say you could touch her, you dumb fuck. Get out of here.”

Eli’s eyes flick from mine to the guy Alex is talking to, right beside him. It’s the blond guy with the baby face. I realize his hand is outstretched, reaching toward me. But at Alex’s words, his eyes go wide, fear replacing the lust on his face.

It isn’t Alex that goes for him, though.

It’s Eli.

He grabs the guy by the throat, digging his fingers so hard into his skin the tips of them disappear into the guy’s flesh.

The guy is sputtering, his mouth opening and closing but nothing comes out.

My thighs clench together, watching Eli look at this guy with no expression on his face, but he doesn’t really need to say much.

And when he does, it’s just one word. “Leave.”

He lets the guy go, and he starts rubbing at his throat, coughing and choking, red marks against his skin.

But he leaves.

He turns and fucking runs as fast as he can through the mass of people in the living room, some pointing and laughing as he goes.

“Thanks, man,” Alex says behind me, and slowly, Eli turns back around, his expression neutral. His eyes lock on mine and I wish he’d step closer. I wish he’d put his hands on me like that.

I wish he’d…

“Yeah.” That’s all he says before he turns around and threads his way through the crowd, which seems to part for him like he’s fucking Moses or some shit.

I want to go after him.

I want him back here with me and Alex.

Alex leans down close to me. “Let’s get a drink, yeah?” he whispers in my ear, and before I can answer, he shifts his arm around my shoulder and leads me through the living room. He’s so damn big, all I have to do is stick close to him and there’s no fighting or squeezing through people. They just move.

Just like they did with Eli.

So many thoughts are whirring in my brain—About my mom seeing a video of my tits. How she’ll put me back in rehab so fast I’ll be there by sunrise. What the fuck Alex just did. How this might mean we’re really over.

And about Eli Addison, grabbing that dude by the throat.

But when Alex leads me into the kitchen and Eli is nowhere to be found, I try to push him from my mind and spin around to face Alex, shrugging his arm off my shoulder.

He grabs my wrist, yanking me closer to him. He knows if he lets go of me right now, I’m going to bolt.