Garden of Sins

“What’s with you?” I ask, but you still don’t answer me. Your eyes fly over the marks on my neck that you left yesterday and I wish I had left my hair down. Maybe you regret it. I know you don’t want to hurt me; it was merely an accident during sex.

Carter interrupts my thoughts as he speaks with fries in his hand and his mouth stuffed, so I turn my eyes away from you and towards him. “What do you think of me?”

“You are INCREDIBLY sickening!” I answer with disgust and realize that he looks like shit too. His forearms are full of scratches as if he had tried to rescue a cat from a tree. He is pale by his standards and the shadows under his eyes are gigantic. So much worse than mine.

“And you stink,” he barks in my direction.

“Excuse me?” I reply skeptically. “Caden, say something!” How dare that little shit talk to me like that?

I grab the McDonald’s bag, but it’s empty and you still don’t answer. I’m starting to get used to it. It’s like with my dad.

“CARTER! It’s empty!” I yell, a

“I don’t give a shit about you, Alayna,” he says to me. I decide that I have the right to eat, so I bend over the table and rip the last cheeseburger he has bitten into out of his hand. Then I lean back and take a bite with my eyes narrowed.

“H’M, yummy!” I reply tensely.

Shocked, he stares at me, mouth gaping, hand still raised. “You bitch,” he says with a bit of admiration and astonishment.

I grin at him, take another bite, and enjoy.

Grumbling, he also slips me his fries and Coke.

I lift my chin. “That’s better, Mr. Rush!”

Next to me, you do the neck-cracking thing again and appear tense. Carter’s eyes glide to you and he seems a little alarmed. While you two are staring at each other and I watch wide-eyed with no idea what’s going on, there is a rumble on the stairs.

“THIS IS SO UNFAIR, HONESTLY. MOM, WHERE ARE YOU?” Ava yells. “EVEN NATHALIE GETS TO GO. NATHALIE, MOM! SHE’S IN THE CHURCH CHOIR AND PLAYS THE FLUTE! MOOOOOOM!”

We three simultaneously flinch and Carter mumbles, “Who actually wanted a girl?” He shakes his head. Shit, I’m wondering the same thing.

I take another bite.

Then I glance at you and carefully offer you a fry. “You want one?”

You turn your head towards me. Your eyes flash so hard and angry it hits me in the stomach. You’ve never looked at me like that before. I swallow and immediately feel sick.

“Are you mad at me?” I ask nervously.

Your jaw muscles twitch and you stare at me for a moment. I think I’m about to burst with nervousness. I simply want to know what’s wrong and how I can make it better. But then you raise your hand, take my chin, and finally kiss me. I lower my shoulders in relief. After all, I hate it when you’re mad at me because I know you’re actually a little crazy about me. For whatever reason.

“MOOOOOM!” Ava yells again and Carter yells back.

“SHE’S IN THE OFFICE WITH DAD! DUDE! YOU’RE ALL SO ANNOYING!”

“Thanks!” she yells downstairs. I giggle next to your lips. You pull your head back, look at me, and laugh too. Then you tap me under the chin and I am happy that everything is fine, that we are okay.

I snuggle up to you as soon as you are no longer so dismissive and eat my burger. Your fingers are ru

When you brush through my hair, I feel like I’m in heaven and hell at the same time because everything hurts. Nevertheless, I relax and push myself completely onto the chair from the edge where I was just sitting. Immediately, I flinch again. Fuck, I forgot my ass!

You are amazed. “What’s wrong?”

I give you a meaningful look. You know exactly what’s wrong, Caden.

You flare your nostrils and another roar comes from above.

“NO, AVA, GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW! AND IF YOU ASK ME THAT AGAIN, YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR THE ENTIRE SUMMER!”

“I HATE YOU!” Ava screams dramatically that echoes through the house, then another door slams.

“Do you need a pain killer or something?” Carter asks as if he were a pharmacist. “I have plenty of shit. If you need anything, just ask. I’ll give you a discount because you’re my future sister-in-law.”

“Carter,” you growl, “stop it.”

“Oh, let him yap,” I say to you, then I kiss you before I get up to get us another drink. Quickly, I pour something into two glasses for us, moving carefully because my back hurts. As soon as I return to the table and set the glasses down, you grab my arm and pull me onto your lap. Your arms are around my center and you gaze into my eyes.

Then you put your finger under my chin and your soft lips find mine. I wrap my arms around your neck and attack you with an intensity that amazes me.

Shit, I can’t get enough of you, I honestly can’t.

Suddenly, a loud clatter from a glass apparently breaking parts us, ripping me out of my Caden movie and I don’t like that.

“Oops,” Carter says drily, without any expression. Your glass lies shattered on the floor.

“Oh, Carter,” I sigh, a

“He can clean it up himself.” Then you turn to Carter. “You know how to clean up the shit you created yourself, right, Carter?” I feel the sudden tension in the room and the anger between you two, but I can’t explain it. You and Carter are actually always the absolute dream team. I’ve never seen you truly have a disagreement.

Could it be because I was in his bed with you? I feel guilty.

“You also know very well how to clean up the shit I’ve made, don’t you, Caden?” Carter hoarsely counters.

“What’s wrong with you two?” I ask because I don’t like it when you two fight. “You are ruining my mood!”

Carter points at me with a sweeping gesture. “See, Caden, you’re ruining her mood.”

“I’m about to ruin something else entirely,” you say drily.

It pisses me off, especially because I don’t like the fact that you two aren’t getting along. It’s like there’s a planet in the universe out of whack or there is no longer gravity and everyone is flying around.

“Okay, that’s enough,” I mumble and try to rise, but you continue holding me in your lap as if someone is going to steal me. “If you two don’t start acting normal right now, I’m going home, Caden.” My gaze is drawn to your eyes as a warning. I’m trying to make you see that I am serious even if the atmosphere at home is no better.

You flare your nostrils and breathe deeply through your nose, but you say nothing more. When I hear Carter’s voice behind me, I’m surprised because he’s never the more reasonable one.

“So, bro, are we still going to the lake today?”

You grind your teeth and squeeze out, “Sure, bro.”

Okay, it doesn’t sound exactly conciliatory, but at least you’re speaking again and you’re doing something together today, so I can have a girls’ night with Emilia. We could paint our nails and...

“And you’ll come along, of course,” you decide and I sigh.

All right.

No girls’ night then.

Then it’s a Caden night, but nothing is better for me than being with you no matter when or where, Caden.