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Chapter 33 (Ricardo)
I gesture for Jackson to walk with me to my car because I've pla
The plane ride to Italy is over 8 hours, plus there's the whole 6 hour time difference. If I want to be there in the morning in New York time and make it back here by late afternoon in order to kill Travine, I have to stick to my schedule.
Jackson checks his watch. “You sure you're go
I nod, hating that I'm lying to him. “Yeah, I'll be cutting it close but I'll be there.”
I decided to do this the same day as the engagement party, not because I'm a dick, but because Lou-Lou will be less likely—as well as everyone else—to focus on my absence because they'll be so busy.
That includes Jackson.
He won't know until tomorrow, but Alyssa has a doctor's appointment scheduled. An appointment I made while I was coercing her doctor to falsify a blood-test for me.
I made the appointment for the same time Jackson's supposed to meet me at the warehouse. Alyssa's never missed a doctor's appointment during her pregnancy, and I know she's not going to miss this one, even though she won't remember making it.
Therefore Jackson will have no choice but to go with her, because I know he wouldn't miss her appointment for the world.
“You still never gave me the address to the warehouse,” Jackson says, grinding his jaw. “I promised you I wouldn't tell anyone else what was going on, but you can't stop me from going.”
I slip a piece of paper out of my pocket. Just in case Jackson decides not to go with Alyssa after all, I'm still prepared.
Jackson has no idea, but I'm having Travine meet me at the fight club, not a warehouse.
I love that fight club and I see no better place for this all to end.
There's no bigger fight than this that I intend to win.
He looks at the fake address I gave him and nods. “I'll meet you there tomorrow afternoon.” He fishes a plastic bag out of his pocket. “Here.”
I stare down at the two positive pregnancy tests. “Thanks. You sure Alyssa didn't suspect anything?”
“Nope, I said there was a problem with the toilet and told her not to flush until I fixed it.” His lips twitch. “She pees just about every 15-20 minutes now, so it really wasn't an issue.”
I unlock the door to my Mustang. “I owe you one.”
“I think the near billion dollars in my bank account should cover it.”
He laughs before his expression turns serious. “Which I'm transferring back to you by the way.”
I open the trunk and toss my bag loaded with bombs inside. “Not yet, wait for this to all be over with first.”
He looks contemplative. “If you don't think this is a good idea after all and the council or Travine will suspect something, we still have time to figure out another plan. Hell, maybe we should figure out another plan.”
I slap his back. “No, Jackson. This is the perfect plan. It's go
My heart pounds against my rib cage. “Just in case it doesn't though, there are instructions for you. Lou-Lou gets whatever she wants, but she probably won't want any of it. That said, make sure she has enough money to never want for anything. Make sure she's—”
I feel lightheaded and have to lean against my car. “Just make sure she's taken care of for me.” I suck in a breath. “No matter what. Please, Jackson.”
Jackson visibly swallows. “Of course, I told you. I'll protect her.”
I glare at him. “Like she's Lilly. I need you to promise me you'll protect her like she's Lilly.”
I don't usually bring up his sister, hardly ever in fact, but I need him to know just how serious I am about this.
He looks taken back. “You got it, I swear I'll protect her like she's Lilly.” He grabs the back of his neck and looks down. “Ricardo what the fuck is going on?”
Before I can lie again, he points a finger at my face and says, “You don't make moves unless you're confident. You're not very confident right now, brother. You're scaring the shit out of me.”
He starts pacing around in a circle. “Every time I've tried to talk to you about giving you your money back this week, you kept changing the subject.”
He stops pacing. “I've looked up to you for over 4 years now, Ricardo. I've watched you plot, scheme, and keep secrets that would bring an average man to his knees. I've watched you lie right to the faces of those you love in order to protect them. I've seen you look cool as a cucumber while taking someone's life. I've also witnessed a moment of panic on your face at the warehouse...but I've never once seen the look on your face that you have right now. Like you're pla
He slaps my head, his face beet red with anger. “What the fuck is going on in here? You're finally getting rid of the bad guys for once and all. You're finally putting an end to it, and you look like you're about to attend a goddamn funeral and lose the love of your life instead of pla
There are tears in his eyes and I almost feel them in my own. I didn't expect Jackson to go off on me like this before I left.
“The reason I've had this feeling in my gut for the past few weeks is you, isn't it?”
When I don't answer him, he grabs my collar and slams me up against the car. “You're not pla
I shove him off me. “Of course I am. I have to kill Travine, remember?”
“After?” he questions, lifting his chin, ready to punch me any second.
I look at the ground. “I'm pla
I lift my gaze to him and look him right in the eyes. “And that includes me.”
“No—”
“Yes, it's the only way.” When he opens his mouth to protest again, I take a deep breath and tell him the truth. “I'm a killer, Jackson. I always have been.”
He looks ready to defend me like the good friend he is, but I won't let him. “I don't just kill people who hurt others...not anymore. Somewhere along my journey...my mind got all fucked up. I stopped caring whether it was the bad guys. Lately I've just been taking out whoever is in my way. Whoever stops me from getting what I want. I took out a P.I. with a 10-month-old baby because he didn't find Lou-Lou in time. I took out one of my own men because he looked at Lou-Lou the wrong way and I didn't like it. I threatened your girl about a week ago because she spilled the beans about Travine. Hell, I held a gun to your head and was ready to pull the trigger when you questioned me about Travine.”
I hold up my arms in defeat. “Where do you see this road ending for me, brother? What do you see happening to all the people I care about? DeLuca wasn't always evil...he became it. That's what being a DeLuca does to you. It takes your soul and turns it black...it makes sure no light can shine through. It makes sure you end up all alone, with only your power and control to comfort you.”
I point to my chest. “I'm sick, Jackson. The kind of sick that can't get better. I'm becoming him and I'm go
“Ricardo,” he chokes out. “I've been where you are. I know what it's like to feel like you can't bounce back from killing someone. I know—”
“No you don't, Jackson. Because you're a good guy. Your soul is redeemable...mine isn't. Not anymore.”