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“That's not true,” he says. “Fine, you're a bad guy, what the fuck ever. But you wouldn't hurt us. You wouldn't hurt your family. I know you wouldn't.”
I look him right in the eyes. “Right now. Who's to say when that might change? Can you guarantee me that switch won't flip, Jackson?”
When he stays silent, I nod. “Exactly. That's why I need to do this now, while there's still a shred of humanity for the people I care about left in me.”
In two steps he's grabbing me, hugging me. “I can't say that switch won't ever flip for others...but I can guarantee it won't for your family. I know it won't, Ricardo. I know you wouldn't hurt us. I've never begged another man for anything before, not even your piece of shit father. But I'm begging you not to take my best friend away from me. Bad guy or not, don't kill part of my family. I've already lost my sister, I don't want to lose my brother too.”
I pull away. “Fine.”
He gives me a look. “Yeah?”
“I won't take myself out.” Relief crosses over his features, which turns to confusion when I say, “Doesn't mean I'm not going away though.”
“What—”
“I need to go away for awhile after this is all over. If I can sort my head out, I'll be back. If not, make sure Lou-Lou moves on. Make sure she has the life she deserves.”
“I don't—”
I get in my car and start the engine. “I'd love to continue this conversation, but if I don't get on that plane in the next few minutes, you won't have to worry about me...because the council will kill all of us.”
“Okay, go. Just—we need to talk again about this before you make any decisions...promise me.”
“As long as you keep your mouth shut, then fine, I promise.”
I peel away and watch his shoulders relax.
I fight the way my conscience gnaws at me during the drive to the airport, knowing I lied right to Jackson's face again.
On the bright side, at least this time will be the last time.