Страница 36 из 102
Chapter 13 (Ricardo)
After calming Jackson down due to the stunt Lou-Lou pulled, I walk across the hall to my apartment.
I slam the door and fight the urge to put my fist through it.
She fucking lied to me and broke her promise to me.
Hours after I made love to her.
Christ...I don't understand how we ended up here.
When did she stop trusting me?
When did we break?
When did all of our 'truths' turn into a pile of lies?
There's a small part of my mind...or maybe it's my heart that keeps telling me I've got this all wrong.
That maybe...just maybe—there's a good reason she's purposely hurting me so much out of nowhere.
But I have to shove it down...because I'm so fucking angry and I can't see shit through all the red.
I can't even feel pain...I'm too busy feeling wrath. There's no way I can think logically when I'm in the thick of it.
I have to focus on something else...anything else.
I send a quick email to those two hackers, telling them to make sure no new video's of Alyssa resurface.
That fucking video. The video she got from DeLuca.
She was used as a pawn. DeLuca obviously wanted her to play the video as a warning to me...and she went along with it.
The question is...why? Even if Lou-Lou doesn't like her...the Lou-Lou I know, wouldn't do that shit.
I drag a hand down my face and flip over my coffee table in a fit of rage because another thought occurs to me.
Motherfucker. That's also how she got the drugs...she asked DeLuca for them this morning and he handed them over in exchange for her playing the video.
I fight the tiny voice in my head telling me that I'm wrong again and I'm still not thinking rationally right now.
No, that has to be it. For fuck's sake, she had track marks on her arms. I saw them with my own goddamn eyes.
The fact that she did all this because of drugs, doesn't make me feel better. In fact, it's the opposite. It only fuels my anger.
I grab a box and start tossing all her shit in it. I don't need or want any reminders of her.
And if she thinks she can crawl into my bed tonight just like she used to after we fought...she's got another thing coming.
She crossed the line today...multiple lines.
God only knows what else she's been lying to me about.
And last night?
I can't believe I wanted...I can't believe I....
I can't even bring myself to think it because it hurts too damn much.
My insides twist because there's a part of me that still wants that.
Wants her.
Even after what she did.
Jesus...when Jackson lunged at her...I swear my heart stopped. I would have killed him if he touched her...I know it.
I would have killed someone I consider a brother over her...even though she was 100% in the wrong.
I slam my fist on the counter and curse her name.
No...I can't cave.
She made her bed, she needs to lie in it.
Without me this time.
We're better off this way.