Stay with me

Chapter Five

“I’m bulletproof,

yet she’s slowly

penetrating every

part of me.”

—Oliver Masters

LEAVING OLLIE’S DORM was far more complicated than entering. I wondered why he didn’t have any furniture for us to climb onto to get out, but they configured a system: climbing on top of one another, then the first person pulling the next through the hole.

Right after six in the morning, I reached the bathroom and turned on the water in the last stall. Only a minute passed before the water got to its warmest level and I stepped in and closed the curtain. I’d timed it perfectly. Ollie always left before I arrived, and I’d managed to avoid the morning rush. As long as I reached the bathroom at 6:10 AM and left no later than 6:25 AM.

Before I had a chance to rinse out all the shampoo, my curtain flew open with an angry Bria on the other side.

“Shit. You scared me,” I said, wiping water from my eyes. Bria crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her brows together. “What do you want, Bria?”

“You need to leave Ollie alone.”

Rolling my eyes, I continued to rinse the rest of the shampoo out of my hair.

“I’m serious, America. Find your own play-thing. Ollie and Isaac are with me.”

“I thought what happens in the dorm, stays in the dorm.” Bria thought she could make me uncomfortable by confronting me in such a vulnerable state. Little did she know, I happened to be more comfortable naked than clothed, and Bria didn’t budge as she continued to stare me down. “You’re an idiot.” I grabbed my towel from the hook and wrapped it around my body before pushing past her.

“Excuse me?” She followed me to the mirror as I pulled the toothpaste from the basket.

“It’s the reactance theory. You discourage someone from doing something, their freedom threatened, and they will be even more motivated to regain control by doing the exact opposite,” I popped the toothbrush in my mouth and turned to face her. “Because the forbidden fruit tastes so much sweeter.”

She shifted onto her other leg and straightened her posture. Her short black hair was flat and not sticking up in the back like it usually did. She was the dark version of Tinker Bell, but instead of sprinkling fairy dust, she discharged ammo.

“You were better off not saying anything at all,” I added.

“Just … stay away from him.”

I spit a mouthful of toothpaste before pointing my toothbrush at her. “You presented me with a challenge, Bria, and the best part is … I have nothing to lose.”

Bria and I stood eye to eye for what seemed like minutes before she finally turned on her heel and left. I loathed drama, but I enjoyed making girls squirm just as much. I had no interest in Ollie. Hell, I had no interest in anyone. But seeing her unravel the way she had at the thought of losing one of her “play-things” was an excellent way to start my morning.

The inability to feel for someone always prevented me from having anything more.

I’d tried faking it once, only to see how far the relationship could go, and if anything would develop, but nothing. Love was nothing more than a myth, something produced by major corporations to increase profit. According to dictionary.com, the verb definition of love means to love someone and be affectionate. The definition of affectionate means to love. Case in point.

Proving my theory once in a high school project, I surveyed fifty people on what love meant to them. Fifty different people, fifty different answers. No one could give me a clear explanation, and what happened when something couldn’t be proven? The results were inconclusive.

I believed in chemistry and comfort. You felt comfort and ease around someone, so you didn’t mind being around them all the time—hence, my father and Diane. My father found some sort of comfort in Diane, more than being alone, so he married her. Chemistry attracts two people together, comfort makes them stay. Simple explanation. What dictionary.com should have said was:

love (verb)

/ləv/

the perfect combination of chemistry and comfort

I sat at my usual table during breakfast and played with my wet eggs as the crew from last night made their way into the mess hall toward their table. Jake waved me over, but I turned away. I’ve had enough of them over the last twenty-four hours.

Soon after, Ollie pulled out a chair and took a seat before finding me across the room. In a matter of seconds, he managed to remind me of our moment from last night, and I bit the inside of my cheek to fight off the tightness in my chest. He offered me a sleepy, lopsided smile, and I averted my eyes.

Chemistry was the damn devil.

The bell rang. I stood in a hurry, grabbed my tray, and left the mess hall before anyone else, walking at a much faster pace than I should have been this early in the morning. The last thing I wanted was for Jake to catch up to me, or anyone else from last night. As soon as I turned the corner down the left wing, I was pulled by the arm from the corridor and through a door.

Face to face with familiar green eyes, I backed against the wall. The room was dark aside from a hint of the morning sun’s rays coming through the window. Ollie leaned over me and rested each palm against the wall beside me. The smell of mint became a passenger between us as he licked his lips. His gum switched from one side of his mouth to the other before my eyes lifted to his. “I can’t stop thinking about last night,” he admitted. “This morning I woke up sober, and still feel a part of me is missing.”

I opened my mouth, and when nothing came out, I closed it again. Ollie was breathing hard. I was breathing hard. His chest rose and fell with every breath. I couldn’t break away from his stare.

“You said it would pass, but it didn’t. And then in the mess hall, you can’t even look at me … but I want to be seen by you, Mia.” His eyes sca

“You like being looked at?” Finally, words. I was able to speak.

He raised a brow. “It does feed my narcissism, but it’s different with you.” He lifted a hand off the wall. “Even though you claim this to be so dangerous.”

I straightened my posture when he took a step back. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”

His face was unreadable, and with my books clutched to my chest, I pushed passed him and walked out the door. He remembered every detail of last night—the confessing of my rules and the dangers of crossing the line—then had the nerve to use it against me. He was playing with fire, and in the end, he would get burned.

As I walked into Latin, I had come to the conclusion they were all crazy. People like Bria and Ollie walked around with rules they couldn’t live up to, like “no hurt feelings,” and I should have known better. Whatever happened in Ollie’s dorm would never stay in Ollie’s dorm, but at least I was the one who couldn’t get hurt. I had decided to have my fun with them, and when everything came crashing down, it would be me laughing in the end.

I took a seat beside Liam. He was a year younger than me, and a complete asshole, but I enjoyed every second of it. With blond hair pulled back into a man bun, and full lips, I could see why the girls surrounded him. He was like me in a lot of ways. Perhaps the reason I stuck to him on Tuesdays and Thursdays.