Stay with me

We walked together to lunch, but I refused to sit with him and his friends. His group was something my old self would typically be drawn to, and a part of me did want to change. I kept telling myself I didn’t care whether or not I ended up in a mental institution, but I knew somewhere deep down, I didn’t want to go there, and if I fell into the arms of Liam’s group, I would never make it out of here alive.

“What are your plans tomorrow?” Liam asked as we stood in the lunch line.

“I don’t know … homework, I guess. What else is there to do on Fridays?”

Liam put his arm around my shoulder and turned me toward the students in the mess hall.

He pointed over to the jocks, all of them with muscles bulging from their Dolor shirts and punching each other in the shoulder. “Every Friday, they have a game of football in the yard.” He turned my attention to the group of girls at the table beside them. Gwen was the only one I knew by name. She flipped her short blonde hair as she talked into another girl’s ear. Liam continued, “The girls sit off to the side and watch as they bat their pretty eyes.” His fingers landed on a table seating six thugs. “Poker in the courtyard, 10 quid buy-in.” And, finally, he pointed toward Ollie. Ollie clenched his jaw as Liam leaned into my ear. “They take off to the woods and … no one really knows what the fuck they do. They’re all rubbish.”

“What about you?” I asked, turning my attention away from Ollie’s tense position.

Liam smirked and pulled me to his side. “Meet us after breakfast in the morning and have a gander, yeah?”

His choice of words made me smile. “I’ll think about it.”

After eating the horrible cheese sandwich at my table, I pulled To Kill a Mockingbird from my stack of books and read, keeping my attention away from Ollie at all costs, and not giving in to his narcissistic behavior.

“Mia, you’re late,” Dr. Conway stated and flicked her eyes over to the clock on the wall behind the couch.

After taking a seat on the sunken brown leather, I handed her the book. “I finished the book. It sucked. What was the point in wasting my time?”

Dr. Conway grabbed the book and placed it back in its rightful place on the bookshelf. “That was only a warm-up. Tell me why you didn’t like it.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I leaned back into the leather and ran my fingers across the cracks in the arm of the couch. “You have a middle-class, middle-aged man who wants to teach his kids lessons in life, but then calls a rape victim a liar, and basically a slut. The author took advantage of the on-going racism in America to sell millions of copies, and give off the impression rape victims are asking for it and should be ignored. I can’t believe they allow this shit in grade school.”

Dr. Conway’s brows lifted at my response. “Interesting … So, from all the characters, who do you think you could relate to the most?”

“This is ridiculous. What’s my next assignment?” I turned out the window toward the front of the building where the gates were. The things I would have done to be on the other side of them right now and far away from here.

“You have a writing assignment.” Dr. Conway swiveled in her chair and grabbed a pad of paper and handed it to me. “From this point on, I want you to spend at least twenty minutes a day free-writing. Write whatever comes to mind. I don’t care what it’s about. Put pen to paper, free your mind, and write.”

“That’s it for today, then?”

Dr. Conway gave me a hard look. She pressed her mouth together in a line, contemplating her next words carefully. I turned away from her and back at the window. The only sound in the room was the second hand on the clock clicking away and the air conditioning vent rattling.

“Whatever you have to say, just say it,” I said through an exhale. “I can do this all day.”

“I want to ask you a question, but I don’t want you to answer. I want you to really think about it …” She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands together over her crossed knees. “If today was the last day of your life, would you spend it differently?” My lips parted, but Dr. Conway held up a hand. “I don’t want you to answer.”

The fu

Dr. Conway and her stupid question had me reeling. I grabbed my stack of books off the side table and gave her a curtsy. “Cheerio,” I said in my best British accent before taking off.

After turning the corner of my wing toward my dorm, my eyes fell on Ollie who waited outside my door. My head rolled back at his presence. I had exactly five minutes before Oscar arrived.

“Is your narcissism ru

Ollie’s hand shot to his chest as if it were a blow to his ego, but he followed up with a crooked smile. “So, you and Liam friends now, yeah?”

“No, I don’t need friends. I prefer solitude.”

Ollie dropped his head and peered over at me with disbelieving eyes.

And there it was, the same incredulous look I’d seen in both his drunken and sober states. Even in disbelief, he was authentic. I liked that about Ollie. He was simple—easy. When I wore my venom on my sleeve, he wore his emotions. I never had a need to guess what kind of person he was or what he thought because he always came out and said it. He was not complicated, but this thing between us was.

“Then how do you expect to smile like you are right now all by yourself?” he asked.

Shit. I hadn’t realized I was smiling. I pressed my lips together. “I’m not smiling,” I mumbled through a controlled mouth.

Ollie threw his head back and ran a hand down his face. “I haven’t got a chance with you, love. Tell me, when was the last time you actually laughed? Wait … do you even laugh?”

“Oh, is that the purpose of having a friend? You think you can make me laugh?”

“You and I could never be friends, Mia, but yes, I have a few jokes.” Ollie leaned in. “But you can’t tell anyone. It may ruin my cool reputation here.”

I’m glad we were on the same page with the whole “friend” thing, but I couldn’t help but think there was some hidden meaning behind the way he’d said it.

Shifting my heavy books to my other arm, I sighed. “Alright, let’s hear them.”

“I have you laughing, you let me inside?” he asked, taking the books from my arms. “I’ll hold these in the meantime. No need to thank me …” His smile turned smug.

Resting my hand over my hip, I dropped my head to hide my smile from his fortitude. There was no way he could succeed now I was prepared for it.

“Knock, knock,” he said with a poker face, and I pressed my lips together.

A damn knock-knock joke? The determination on his face and his youthful antics could have ruined me alone. This was going to be much harder than I thought. “Who’s there?”

“Tank.”

“Tank who?”

“I told you no need to thank me, but you’re welcome.” He held up his empty palm with a wide smile.

My hand shot over my mouth to hide my grin, and I shook my head

Ollie reached for my hand. “Did I see a smile under there?”