Alien in the Family

Chuckie kissed my cheek. “Have fun. Control yourself. At some point, the males will rejoin you. Make sure you’re not doing something Martini will make you regret.”

“Thanks for the warning, Voice of Doom.”

He laughed. “I’m here for you should something go wrong.”

Reader got the rest of the gals inside, then hugged me. “Behave.”

“It’s a bachelorette party, not tea with the Queen of England. Why are you and Chuckie telling me to be a good girl all of a sudden?”

Cover-boy grin flashed. “Because we know you, girlfriend. So does Jeff, so you’ll probably be okay.”

“Yeah, Chuckie said no Aerosmith or Sir Elton.”

“True. Just think you’ll like the alternative.”

“Motorhead?”

“Considered it. Then realized that most of the guests don’t want to hear the loudest rock and roll band in the world up close and personal.” He looked really pleased with himself. “I got Emily and Melanie to promise to take pictures when the band hits the stage.” He kissed me on my cheek, sauntered over to Chuckie and they both sauntered off.

Food and drink were all over the place. I was pretty full from the girly food, but House of Blues had some yummy stuff out. I managed to find the room to stuff in a good sampling.

Drinks were flowing. The bars were clearly marked as alcoholic and nonalcoholic. The room was about one-third alkies to two-thirds abstainers. A couple of my cousins, cousins supposedly in the know now, grabbed me and asked me if I was marrying into a Mormon family. Shared I wasn’t, didn’t share that I was marrying an alien—maybe Christopher had come to his and everybody else’s senses and wiped all their memories.

I’d originally thought we only had the over-eighteen crowd, but I discovered all the little girls were here, too. They all seemed to know something I didn’t, because they were already in the concert hall, practically vibrating with excitement.

There was a very pretty blonde in there with them. She was dressed nicely like the other guests, so I figured she wasn’t an employee. “Hi, I’m Kitty.” Put out the paw.

She stood up, took my hand, and smiled. Looked very athletic as well as gorgeous. “I’m Denise Lewis, Kevin’s wife.”

Figured. The gorgeous guy with bags of charisma had married the gorgeous gal with bags of charisma. I figured I’d be able to pick their kids out easily—look for the gorgeous ones with bags of charisma.

“Great to finally meet you. And thanks for coming.”

“Happy to be invited. We really appreciate how the A-Cs have protected us.”

“Did you know what Kevin did before last year?”

She laughed. She had great teeth, just like Kevin did. Wow, amazing. I wasn’t gay, but if I’d been forced to go to the Free Women planet, this would be the mate I’d pick to take with me. “No, but when you’re being kidnapped by a terrorist organization and a group of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen rescues you and your kids, you catch on really fast that your husband didn’t stop being a ru

“So Kevin was a professional athlete before? I knew it!”

“Yeah, not too long, though. Your mother recruited him early in his career.”

This was probably a story for another time, but I made a note to get said story later. “So, why are you on babysitting duty?”

“Oh, the kids are so excited about the band.”

“It’s not Ha

“No.” Denise laughed again. “And no one’s going to tell you, so don’t try to ask.”

“So, again, you’re riding herd on the rugrats why?”

“I don’t really know anyone.” She looked as though she hadn’t meant that one to slip out. “I mean, I know Gladys and your mother, sort of.”

I looked around. “Kids, Denise and I are going to the bar area for a little bit. Who’s big enough to behave themselves without us?” All the hands went up. “That’s why I love you all, you lie so well and quickly. Injure no one, including yourselves, break nothing, rip nothing, be good or I’ll send in a lion to eat you all up.”

Shrieks of laughter from the littler girls, rolled eyes from the bigger ones. I grabbed Denise’s hand and dragged her out. “You don’t get to hide in here while I have to see everyone and pretend this is fun.”

She laughed. “Kevin said you were a fun girl.”

“That’s me, Miss Fun.” Found the women I was looking for. “Emily, Melanie, Ericka, this is Denise Lewis, Kevin’s wife. Denise, Ericka is Paul and Michael’s mother, Melanie is Lorraine’s, Emily is Claudia’s. This may not help much. Denise doesn’t know anyone. Let’s change that, shall we?”

Ericka laughed. “From what my sons have told me, Kevin’s an honorary member of the family, so that makes you family, too.” She linked her arm through Denise’s. “Let me take you around and force you to meet everyone. I’d do the same to Kitty, but she’s supposed to be having fun.”

Denise gri

“Nicely done,” Melanie said.

“Even gorgeous people can be shy.”

Emily hugged me. “I’m so glad you’ll be a real part of the family soon.”

“Oh, yeah, how are you guys related to Jeff?”

“Oh the usual several cousins several times removed.” Melanie laughed. “Really, don’t try to keep it straight.”

“Wow, no worries there. So, who’s the band? The kids are beyond excited.”

“I’ll give you one hint,” Emily said, and it was clear she was trying not to grin. “Most of the men are going to be happy to miss them, and all of the women are going to love them.”

“Everyone loves a mystery.”

“Yep!” Lorraine and Claudia came up. “James told us to make sure you got a drink, even though it won’t be alcoholic, and to get you into the seat of honor in time. Band starts in a few, so, stealing our girl now.” She and Claudia each took an arm and dragged me off.

Since I had to relax and have fun, I forced myself to do it. Lorraine and Claudia were great at the Aunt Carla avoidance, also great at the moving me away from the nosy friends and relatives stuff.

Ran into a gaggle of my sorority sisters. After the shrieking, hugging, and recitation of the not-so-secret sorority pledge were over, and Lorraine and Claudia were introduced, I got a lot of hairy eyeballs from the girls. I tensed for what I knew was coming.

“So, Kit-Kat, Chuck’s throwing this party for you but he’s not the guy you’re marrying?” Jea

“It’s not like that, JellyBean—” I started.

“I’m more upset that Caro Syrup’s not here,” Tamara said quietly. “She was your bestie, Kit-Kat.”

“She still is, Twix,” I said quickly. “She just couldn’t—”

“Get here in time,” Cathy said. “Yeah, Chuck told us.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you dumped Chuck.” Well, at least they weren’t discussing their concerns about me marrying a space alien. That was something, right?

“We weren’t an item, Wonka. We’re still friends. Same with Caro and me. She’s out of the country right now.” I was starting to get worried that this was going to turn into a nightmare fast.

“Chuck said Kit-Kat’s marrying a great guy,” Kay said, cheerfully, thank God. “Face it, this puts Chuck back on the market. I say hurray for that.”

Oh? This was news. I knew my sorority sisters loved him, but I hadn’t realized they’d considered Chuckie off the market. “Why so, Almond Joy? Not that I’m saying he isn’t on the market and all.”

Kay gri

Christie snorted. “He’s not okay with it. He’s just faking it the way he always did when she was head over heels over some guy who wasn’t good enough for her.” Guilt came over, drink in hand, to enjoy the party. Stress was already here, having a blast, and made room for its buddy.