Alien in the Family

Nona Maria nodded her total agreement. “We’d hoped Angela would have given you some brothers and sisters. You need to have more than one baby, and soon.”

“I liked being an only child.”

“Children need siblings.” This from Papa Abe, who had strong views on this.

Christopher cleared his throat. “Ah, I’m an only child, too.”

“But you had Jeffrey,” Lucinda said with a small smile. “Christopher’s like our other son. We were so lucky the boys are the same age and always were each other’s closest friend.”

“Cats need kittens to make a home.” Nono Dom had been making cat jokes since my mother had introduced her parents to my father. Right up until this evening I’d loved them. Now I was considering the benefits of calling myself Kathy.

Martini leaned next to me. “Stop worrying. I like being your tomcat.”

This was a relief, but it was clear my grandparents were willing to ask us about our reproductive choices for the foreseeable future. However, before they could continue, we were all interrupted by a shout from Lorraine. “James, what the hell are you doing out of your hospital bed?”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God, the cavalry’s here.”

CHAPTER 45

MOST OF MY SIDE HAD NO IDEA who Reader was. Everyone else, of course, hadn’t expected to see him moving, let alone walking, talking, and joking, for days. There was pandemonium.

Gower got to him first, partially because I thought that was right and partially because short of Martini tossing me, I had too many people to shove through to have a hope of getting to him sooner than next week.

It was good that my dad and Kevin had Reader flanked, because he was being swarmed. I felt someone’s arm go around my waist and lift me off the floor. “Coming through,” Martini said, then just shoved people out of our way.

“I think you’ll be impressing my Nono Dom with this tomcat move.” Martini flipped me onto his hip and I wrapped my legs around his waist. There, back to our normal position for a chaotic situation. He bent his other shoulder a bit and plowed on through. “You could have played football with moves like this.”

“Would that have meant I got you earlier in life?”

“Nah, I didn’t date football players.” Much.

“I can tell when you’re lying.”

He got us within range of Reader. It was a shock to see him without hair, but I’d been right—it would take total disfigurement to make Reader anything less than a twenty on a scale of one to ten.

Reader spotted us and flashed his best cover-boy grin. “Jeff, what’re you doing with my girl?”

Martini flipped me down in front of him. “Marrying her, unless you turned straight in the hospital.”

Reader pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. “No, but you’re still my girl,” he whispered to me. “Love the outfit. Jeff must have gone shopping.”

I hugged him back and leaned my head on his shoulder. “Oh, James, I’m so glad you’re here.”

He rocked me and kissed the side of my head. “I know.”

“Who is this, and why is he pawing Katherine?” Aunt Carla was on the scene.

“He’s one of her best friends,” Martini answered calmly. “The one who doesn’t want to marry her. Hey, look. There’s Brian, her old boyfriend from high school. He’s an astronaut now. He’s with his new girl, but, you know, maybe you could go and see if he still wants to marry Kitty, too. I understand he’s a good Catholic boy, so right up your alley.”

I didn’t let go of Reader, but I cringed. Before I could come up with anything to say or do, someone else handled the situation.

“Carla, what a pleasure. Have Angela and I mentioned how much we love Jeff and how happy we are that he and Kitty are getting married?” Dad sounded amused and somewhat disdainful, but not angry.

“Somewhat.” Aunt Carla sounded as if it didn’t matter.

“Good. I think we also mentioned her very close friend, James Reader? The former international male model?”

“Oh. Him.” Aunt Carla heaved a martyred sigh. “I still don’t understand why she didn’t choose Charles. Wealthy, brilliant, successful.”

“I think it’s because she’s in love with Martini,” Chuckie said from somewhere around us. I chose to keep on cringing into Reader’s shoulder. It was comfortable, and I could pretend I wasn’t here.

“Charles, maybe you can talk some sense into her, then.” Boy, Aunt Carla was really on a tear. I had no idea why.

Reader did. “You’re aware that the Martini family’s loaded, aren’t you? As in, Martini and Rossi? Old Italian money. And a lot of it.”

“OH?” Aunt Carla’s entire tone changed. “Really? Well, why didn’t you say Katherine was marrying well, Sol?”

“We did. We said she was marrying a good man who loved her and would cherish and protect her. As far as Angela and I are concerned, that’s what matters.”

“Right. I keep forgetting your humanitarian views. Well, carry on, though, if I were you, young man, I’d keep an eye on those two.” I assumed she was saying this to Martini about me and Reader, but I chose to keep my cringe on full.

Silence for a few seconds. “You can come out now, Kitty.” This from Kevin.

“I like it here, think I’ll stay.”

“More than a little jealous over here.”

Reader laughed. “She’s just making me feel better about being bald, Jeff.”

“James, I hadn’t even noticed.”

“You lie like a wet rug, girlfriend.”

“Really, the jealousy? It’s on full.”

“Give him a break, Kitty.” This from Christopher, who must have joined the party while I had my eyes closed. “You know he had the jealousy talk with James, too. And Kevin. And Paul.”

I was still holding on to Reader, but I opened my eyes and looked over my shoulder. “James and Kevin I sort of get. But Paul?”

Martini shrugged and didn’t look all that embarrassed.

“I think I should be offended, somehow,” Gower said with a laugh. “You thought I was hot when we first met.”

“Paul, I still think you’re hot. I am never joking when I say that if you and James want to go bi and expand the marriage to include me, I’m in. Barring that, however, Jeff sort of has the edge.”

“Which everyone other than some of your family seems to understand,” Chuckie said. “Martini, two things. One, you owe me for spending the last two hours with your brothers-in-law. Two, God, man, you have my sympathies. I’ve never met men more jealous of someone else’s success in my life, and that’s saying a lot.”

“Thanks, and consider us somewhat even. I just got to hear about how great you are from just about every one of Kitty’s relatives. They think you walk on water even more than she does.”

“Jamie? Kitty? Can you two stop making everyone, including me and Jeff, think you’re coming out about your illicit affair and sort of separate?” Gower sounded like he was only kind of kidding.

“She’s hiding.” Reader laughed. “Babe, there are no relatives around other than your father. I think the coast is clear.”

“Okay, hope you’re not wrong.” He let me out of his arms. “Thanks for defusing Aunt Carla.”

He gri

“You carry bald off well.”

“It’s gay.”

“You are gay. And so’s Paul. And he’s bald, and he looks hot, and you’ve never minded bald on him.” I knew why he didn’t like it, of course, but I wanted to hear him say it.

“Two baldies is totally gay, okay?” Reader looked disgusted, and more so when we all started laughing. “You mentioned this to them?” he asked Gower.