Alien in the Family

Poof growling went up a notch or two. I wondered if they required grooming or had nonmatting fur, and if they would be happy sleeping on their own pillows or in a nice big pet bed together.

“Baby? I don’t want them in our room, okay?”

“I do.”

“Think about it, for a minute, while the prisoners stop wetting themselves.”

I did. “Okay, when we’re sleeping, how about that?”

“Maybe. Folks, she’s not joking. She’s protective, tired, and upset. One of her best friends almost died today because of a shapeshifting lunatic, and I’m not in there to restrain her. She doesn’t follow orders. So do what she says. ’Cause I don’t care what happens to any of you.”

The shapeshifter nodded. “I apologize for my subject’s actions. I am Queen Renata of the Free Women. And we are here as emissaries for the Planetary Council, not as emissaries of Alpha Four.”

CHAPTER 29

CHUCKIE LEANED DOWN AND WHISPERED in my ear. “We have an elaborate ruse. But you knew that. Find out who has the most to gain.”

“Interesting. Paul?”

“Yes, Kitty.”

“I’d love to chat with ACE, please.”

Gower sighed. “Fine.” There was a pause. “Yes, Kitty, ACE is here.”

“ACE, are these the evil beings you said were heading for us?”

“No, Kitty.”

“Are they evil? As in, get them off our planet before they try to kill us all evil?”

“No, Kitty. They are very afraid.”

“Would they stop being afraid if Chuckie, the Poofies, and I left the room?”

“No, Kitty. They are afraid of what has happened and what might happen.”

I thought about it. “ACE, this is one of those you want to tell me but can’t times, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Kitty will figure it out without ACE’s help.” ACE sounded really confident.

“Um, okay, great. As always, thanks very much, you’re the best, no more questions and so forth.”

“Moira is waking up. Please have someone make Moira sleep again.” ACE sounded freaked out.

I heard Martini bark some orders. “ACE . . . where is Moira’s mate?”

“ACE is not sure, Kitty.”

“Is she in any of our strongholds or around our people in Sin City?”

“No. ACE is not sure where Moira’s mate is.” ACE still sounded frightened.

Chuckie whispered again. “Or figure out who has the most to lose. This is a power play, but it doesn’t make any sense yet.”

I gave this more thought and took a look at Queen Renata. “ACE . . . they’re off their planet because their net went haywire, didn’t it? Because the leader of the Free Women figured out how to play nicely with others. And some of the Free Women don’t want to play nicely with others, especially with male others. And the PPB net agreed with them. Is that about right?”

“Yes, Kitty.” ACE sounded relieved. “ACE knew Kitty would discover the truth. Kitty thinks right.”

“Yes,” Chuckie said out loud. “She does.” I heard Martini muttering under his breath.

“Yes, good. Okay, please have Paul correct me when I’m wrong on this, but otherwise, go back and relax. Or whatever it is you do in there.”

“Yes, Kitty.” There was another pause. “Well,” Gower said in his own voice, “that was fun.”

“So, Queen Renata, how long ago did your protective net start talking to people?”

“Several years ago.” She closed her eyes, and when she opened them there were tears there. “For so long we struggled, unable to understand why we were held away from the stars. We knew we could reach them and that we had in the past. We blamed our males, for their aggression.”

“But without them, you turned just as aggressive, didn’t you?”

“Yes. But we believed ourselves right.” She heaved a sigh. “As my mother gained the throne, she saw us for what we were: brutal people, bound only for vengeance. She knew this was not the right way. Through her leadership, we began to hate less and try to forgive more.”

“She sounds very wise. And strong.”

“She was.” Queen Renata looked around. “She sent a message to the other planets, asking them to help us, to forgive us, to teach us how to be less warlike and more peaceful. They sent us help, support. But they would not remove the net. My mother understood—centuries of danger are not removed in a few years.”

“What were the reactions?”

“Our people were divided. Over time, however, as the other planets sent gifts—helpful things that made our lives better—most came to my mother’s way of thinking.”

“But some didn’t.”

“It was the net.” Black Eye was speaking.

“Dude, you have a name?”

“Yes. Gregory.” He sounded peeved. “Can I go on?”

“Sure, just figured your parents named you something other than Black Eye or Wimpy.”

Chuckie laughed. So did Martini and Gower. Gregory didn’t look like he enjoyed the joke. “If I may?”

“Go for it, Greg.”

“Gregory.” Said through clenched teeth. Nice to have the proof—planetary thing, not just my A-Cs’ hang-up.

“Whatever.”

“The PPB net is sentient. It . . . became self-aware and started speaking to some of the planet’s inhabitants. I’m sure you can’t understand, but—”

“Um, Greg? I’m going to speak very slowly, and we’ll see if you understand. You know the net you folks on Alpha Four put around Earth?” He nodded, a shocked look on his face. “Well, I was just chatting with it. It’s in one of our people, while still being around our world, and it likes us. A lot. We like it, too. It’s not keeping us in any more. It’s doing it’s best to keep people like you out. If it let you through, consider yourselves lucky. We’re a team, our sentient superconsciousness and us. All alone out here together. We are all very tired of being treated like dirt and only paid attention to when you want something from us. Keep that in mind before you speak again.”

“In simpler terms,” Martini snarled, “if you talk down to any of us again, her in particular, you’re Poof Chow. Got it?” I was so proud—he’d come up with Poof Chow all on his own.

“Uh, yes. Apologies, Your Majesty.”

“And stop calling me that!”

“He really isn’t into the whole forced royalty thing, Greg. Maybe you should, you know, get on with your condescending explanation.”

“The net went nuts and thinks it’s God,” Bitch Leader snapped. “Can you have this thing let go of me?”

“Name, rank, planetary number?”

“Uma, head delegate from Alpha Six.”

“Okay. Harlie? Be a good Poofie and put icky Uma down, okay? No snack right now.” Harlie spat Uma onto the floor then trotted over. Clearly for pets and lovies. Which I gave it. In abundance. The purrs were loud. From all of the Poofs. “So, Uma, you were saying?”

“The net went crazy, started talking to the more militant on the planet. Considers itself God, tells them so.” She stood up and brushed herself off.

“Tells them to go kill all the men, right?”

“Yes.”

“So, you’re all here, why?”

“To crown the new king of Alpha Four.” She said it like it was obvious.

“But you’re not from Alpha Four.”

“We represent them,” Gregory said. I looked at him, and the rest of them. Yep, eyes were not looking at me, faces were turned away, the usual. On the humanoids, anyway. The Giant Lizards were pretty stone-faced, the Major Doggies looked smiley or snarley, depending, and the Cat People looked smug. I didn’t know yet if this was just how they looked naturally or how they happened to feel right now.

“So, for some reason, Alpha Four needs a king so badly that they’re willing to go across the galaxy to pull up the last person in a line—who happens to be from the religious sect they cold-bloodedly exiled with extreme prejudice—and in addition, they asked the entire solar system’s diplomatic corps to help out?”