Alien in the Family

I took one of those gasping breaths where it’s a tossup whether you’re going to get it under control or burst into tears. Martini took my right hand and wrapped it through his left arm.

“No one leaves the sexiest girl in the galaxy at the altar just because she had a little mishap on her way to catch up to you. Especially when seeing you makes her stop in her tracks, for all the right reasons.” He stroked my hand. “I was trying to tell you not to worry about the ceremonial parade, baby, not that I didn’t want you any more.”

“I’ve embarrassed your family, haven’t I?” Mine, clearly from all the betting going on, were neither shocked nor embarrassed. At least, the wi

He shrugged. “Doubt it. Don’t care.”

“But I’ve embarrassed you.” I could barely get the words out.

“Is that what you think?” He laughed softly. “Baby, this is why I love you.”

“Because I’m a dork?”

“No. Because nothing you do comes out like you plan it, but it still always works out.” He gri

Raymond looked confused, but Kimmie grabbed his hand and raced them over. At hyperspeed. “Yes, Uncle Jeff?” Fortunately, it was a short enough distance that Raymond didn’t look as though he was going to be sick.

“Kitty and I have to get around the room one more time. She used to be a track star, and I’m a lot bigger, but she can’t go as fast in her dress. So, it’s fair.”

“What’s fair?” Raymond asked, sounding as confused as I was.

Martini gri

“I don’t have any money,” Raymond said, sounding uncertain.

“Then you’d better hurry up. Go!”

Kimmie squealed with laughter and dragged Raymond off. He didn’t argue. Martini unhooked my hand from his arm, grabbed my shoes in his free hand, and gri

I flipped the veil to the wrap position. “I’m still a sprinter.” I grabbed his hand, and he started us ru

“I love how you have to run in this dress,” Martini said as we moved around the room. The kids were little, but they were money-motivated, because they were far ahead. Kimmie looked back, Martini made a lunge forward, she shrieked a laugh, and they kept on going. “Is asking you to wear it once a week too much, you think?”

“Probably, but we can discuss it. Jeff, is anyone going to speak to us ever again?”

“Don’t care,” he said cheerfully. “Boy, are you slow in this. I have a great idea for our honeymoon. You try to run away from me in this, and I’ll chase you.”

I started laughing. “I do love how you think.”

“Yeah? Tell me so in another minute.” He stopped, flipped me gently over his shoulder, then took off at a better trot.

I was laughing too hard to protest. Got a glimpse of Aunt Carla’s face. The Gower girls were by her, but they were laughing so hard I was pretty sure they weren’t using their A-C talents for anything right now, and Aunt Carla’s expression seemed to confirm that. I wasn’t sure if she was going to have a co

“Are we catching them?”

“Yeah, but Kimmie’s not clear on the concept. We’re taking a full lap.”

“You up to it?”

He snorted. “Baby, I could do this all day. I plan on doing this all day, too.” We rounded another corner, and I saw people I’d seen before. Martini put on another burst of speed. “Kimmie, go up and down the aisle next, okay? From Uncle Christopher to the back and then back to Uncle Christopher, okay? Then stop.”

“Okay, Uncle Jeff,” she called out at the top of her lungs, giggling like mad.

“Come on,” Raymond said. “They’re catching us!”

Martini slowed down a little. “You okay back there?”

“Yeah, view of your butt’s great. I love this tuxedo, by the way. I can’t wait to rip it off you.” I heard a couple of gasps and a lot of laughter. “Whoops.”

Martini just laughed. “Yeah, it sucks to be me.”

Rounded another corner. Waved to the people in the front row. The ones who weren’t rolling with laughter or shocked out of their minds managed to wave back. Rounded another corner, got to see our wedding party. The guys had given up and were laughing, too.

Kimmie and Raymond must have reached the back, because they passed us. “We’re beating you,” Kimmie shrieked joyfully.

“We can still catch you,” I called back. They ran faster.

We reached the back, and Martini flipped me gently back onto my feet. “Your shoes.” He handed them to me with an almost wistful look on his face.

“Wow, just like our first date.”

“Yeah.” He smiled, and I realized he’d wondered if I remembered.

“I could never forget the first time I met you, Jeff,” I said softly, as I put my shoes back on.

“No one ever forgets their first superbeing.”

“No. No girl ever forgets the first time she meets the man of her dreams.”

His expression was so loving and tender, I couldn’t help it. The tears started to roll down my face. But they weren’t tears of shame or fear or hurt.

Martini took my face in his hands and gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “I love you. Now, let’s go finish getting married.” He pulled the veil on, right side up, adjusted it carefully, then wrapped my right arm in his left again.

We walked up the aisle. There were a lot of people watching us, but we only looked at each other. It was the most romantic thing I’d ever experienced.

Reached the front. “We beat you,” Kimmie said.

“You did. Fair and square.” Martini reached into his tux and pulled out his wallet, extracted two twenties, squatted down and handed one to each of them. “Well done. Raymond, you still have the rings?”

“Yes, sir, Mister Martini.” He held out his fist.

“Good man. Keep hold of them for a bit longer.” Martini stood up. “We’re ready.”

Our parents looked at each other. “We’re supposed to do the big exchange,” Alfred said.

Martini shrugged. “I know. Already took her.”

“Works for me,” Mom said. “Let’s sit, for God’s sake.” I started laughing again.

“Alfred, Lucinda? After you,” Dad said, doing the ushering into seats move. “Trust me, in the end, it doesn’t matter what kind of ceremony you have, just that you have one.” Martini’s parents shrugged, and all four of them took their seats.

Martini moved us up in front of White. “I hear we’re on a schedule.”

White made a display of checking his watch. “I believe we have time to actually perform the ceremony.”

“Great. Let’s roll.”

I caught Reader’s eye. “He sounds so street when he says that.”

He cracked up. “Yeah, girlfriend, we’re all keepin’ it gangsta.”

White cleared his throat. “Children, if I may?”

“Sure, sure, sorry.” Martini sounded relaxed and happy. I stopped worrying about anything other than what I was supposed to do. He leaned down. “Richard tells you what to do. It’s simple.”

“I’m the girl for the job then.”

White rolled his eyes and moved into the ceremony. He had a lavaliere mike on, so he was easily heard through the huge room. The begi

As we moved into the official vows, things changed a bit. Christopher and Jareen each held one end of a long, shiny rope made out of some kind of metal. I’d never seen one like it before, but it was familiar, so I assumed it was the same metal as the Unity Necklace. As the vows began, they wrapped it around us. Each vow agreed to meant the rope was pulled a little tighter, until we were very close to each other.