The Schwa Was Here

So anyways, Ira’s got his camera filming Ma

“We shoulda done this on a weekday, during rush hour,” Howie says. “The more people on the train, the higher gross to

“Yeah, but we could derail it,” I said, for like the fourteen thousandth time. “Better an empty train than a crowded one.”

That’s when Lexie comes up the stairs with Moxie, and some­one else. It takes me a moment to realize it’s the Schwa.

I hadn’t invited him. Not intentionally, of course—he just slipped my mind like always. It hadn’t even occurred to me that he would come with Lexie. That’s how far out of my mind he had slipped. It spooked me out, the way it spooks you out when you can’t remember something simple, like your phone number, or how to spell your middle name. I heard someone say that when that happens, it means the brain cells that held the information just died, and your brain’s gotta find the infor­mation in some backup file. This was not a good thing, because if the Schwa Effect was actually killing all the brain cells that re­membered him, I could end up as brain-dead as a Tiggorhoid.

“Hi, Antsy,” said the Schwa.

“Hi, Anthony,” said Lexie.

The Schwa introduced Lexie, and everyone was polite enough, although Ira and Howie made secret cracks about how they look together—then snickered like a couple of fifth graders. I couldn’t get past how awkward this all felt. But the Schwa didn’t seem to feel awkward at all. He stood there gri

“Who’s go

Usually Howie volunteered to throw Ma

“Nope.”

“When you’re blind, you’re blind,” I said.

“Not always,” Howie says. “There are blind people who can read large-print books.”

“That’s ’legally blind,’” Lexie explained. “I’m not legally blind.”

“Yeah,” I said, “she’s illegally blind. Now can we get on with this?”

“Lexie,” said the Schwa, still holding her by the elbow, “would you like me to guide you to a bench?”

“That’s all right, Calvin, I’d rather stand.”

Ira and Howie shared a look that could have meant any one of a dozen nasty things, then Howie turned to the Schwa. “So, Schwa, done any good vanishing tricks lately?”

While Howie taunted the Schwa, Lexie whispered my name to Moxie, and he led her over to me. “It doesn’t sound like you’re having fun,” she said.

“How do you know? I’ve barely said a thing.”

“That’s what I mean.”

“Well, I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

A train crashed past on the far track, and Lexie reached up to touch my face.

“Don’t,” I told her. “Not in front of the Schwa.” But she couldn’t hear me over the roar of the train. As soon as the train had passed, she leaned in close and whispered, “I really had fun the other night. Let’s go to the movies again.” Then she kissed me.

When I looked up, the Schwa was standing right behind her.

I had no idea how long he had been there, or what he had seen. All I know is that the sky up above was a clear ice blue, and so were his eyes. Piercing ice blue.

Usually Lexie knows exactly where everyone’s standing, but not all the time. I could tell she had no idea that the Schwa was right there. “Moxie, bench.” Moxie led her over to a bench, and she sat down.

The Schwa waited until she was gone, just staring at me with those icy eyes. He seemed calm, but there was this vein pulsing in the translucent skin of his forehead. “Why did she kiss you?”

I shrugged. “Don’t read too much into it. That’s just the way she is.”

“No,” he said. “She doesn’t kiss me like that. I mean, some­times she kisses me on the forehead like ...”

He looked over to see Lexie stroking Moxie. He licked her face, and she gave him a kiss. On the head.

“Like that...” the Schwa said. Until that moment I suppose he had been legally blind to the situation, but now it was spread out for him in large print. I knew it would have to hap­pen eventually, but I was hoping I’d get lucky, and the world would get struck by a comet or something first.

“I’m sorry, Schwa, okay? I’m really sorry.”

He responded with icy eyes, and a pulsing vein.

Far off a horn blew, and I could see the headlights of a train coming around the bend.

“It’s an express!” yells Howie, all excited. “It’s not go

I didn’t need a second invitation. Anything to look away from the Schwa’s eyes. I grabbed Ma

“Did it work?” Lexie asked. “What happened?”

Long story short, Ma

“I’m go

When I looked for the Schwa, I didn’t see him anywhere, and for the life of me I didn’t know whether he had left or just blended into the station. It wasn’t until Lexie asked me to es­cort her home that I really knew he was gone.

“I don’t understand,” she said. “That’s not like him to leave without saying good-bye.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” I said. “How could you be so . . . so ...”

“So what?”

“Never mind. Forget I said anything.” I reached over and took Moxie’s harness, putting it gently into her hand. “Better hold on to Amoxicillin,” I told her. “I have a feeling you’re go

“How could you have done that to him?” I asked Lexie after I had gotten her home.

She glared at me. Not with her eyes, but with her whole face, which was worse. “In case you’ve forgotten, you did it, too.”

I knew she was right, and it just made me angrier. We sat in the living room of her grandfather’s apartment, listening to the sudden November downpour. Crawley’s nurse, who had al­ready made it clear that she was a cat person, had walked the dogs in the rain because I hadn’t shown up on time to do it. Now the whole apartment was toxic with wet dog, and the nurse gave me dirty looks every time she passed by.

“I thought he understood that we were friends,” Lexie said.

“I don’t believe you. Just because you couldn’t see the dopey love-look on his face doesn’t mean you couldn’t hear it in his voice.”

Lexie was getting teary-eyed, but I wasn’t feeling too sympa­thetic.

“Maybe I just didn’t want to hear it, okay? Maybe I wanted a little bit of both of you. Is that so terrible?”

Then something occurred to me. “You’ve never really gone out with boys before, have you?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

By her tone of voice, I knew it was true. “A lot more than you think,” I told her. See, I know girls and guys who have become masters of manipulation when it came to dating. Instinctively I knew Lexie wasn’t one of those slippery types. Yes, she had manipulated us, but there was an i