Princess of Thorns

She was surprised to find I’d turned down Aurora’s proposal, insisting I was in love with Aurora before I even knew she was a girl, a statement I found laughable and uncomfortable-making at the same time. But after an hour spent telling me how stupid I was, Crimsin didn’t waste any more of her time with me.

Which is fine. No one should waste time with me. I’m too far down the deep, dark well of my own misery to be fit company.

Jor stands watching me pack, observing in his quiet way until I sigh and look up.

“Yes?” I ask.

“You’re leaving.” He sounds more broken up about it than I thought he’d be.

We’ve had fun exploring the castle together the past two days since his wounds became less painful, but I know he hates how miserable I’ve made Aurora. I’ve been avoiding her when I can and making a swift departure from her pleading eyes and offers of marriage when I can’t. Nothing she, or any of the emissaries she’s sent to win me over, says is going to change the way I feel. There’s no point in dragging out the fight.

“When did you decide to leave?” Jor asks.

“I figured it was best,” I say. “Spare everyone the spectacle and the aftermath.”

“We never asked to be spared, but I know by now nothing can change your mind once you’ve made it up. I guess all that’s left is goodbye.” Jor plucks my comb from the bed and tosses it into my pack. “I don’t like goodbyes.”

“Then we’ll shake and be done with it,” I say, holding out my hand with a wink.

Jor scowls at my palm. “She’s always been my best friend.” He doesn’t bother clarifying which “she” he’s talking about. We both know there’s only one “she” as far as the two of us are concerned. “I know her better than anyone in the world. I was telling the truth when I—”

“I know.” I shove my spare shirt into my pack, though I doubt I’ll need it. “I’m glad you’re sure she loves me, but I’m not, and I’m the one who matters.”

“What does she have to do to convince you?” Jor asks. “She’s already sent a company to retrieve your sister from Eno City, and promised to take care of Haanah for the rest of her life. She did that out of love for you.”

“She did that because she is a decent person and knows my father is a monster,” I say, clenching my jaw, refusing to think about never seeing Ha

“I disagree,” Jor says, “but even if you’re right, what about the way she’s begged and pleaded and written half a dozen letters to try to change your mind? You don’t know how strange all that is. Aurora doesn’t beg. Or write love letters. Or cry. Before now I could count the times I’ve seen her cry on my thumbs.”

“She feels guilty.” I shrug. “She’ll get over it.”

“No, she won’t,” he says with quiet assurance, not accusing me of anything, but not letting me off the hook, either.

“Maybe she won’t,” I grumble, closing up my pack. “But that’s her problem. I told her it’s stupid to let guilt eat her up over things like this. Sometimes you break people and sometimes you get broken. It’s the way life is.”

Jor sighs. “You’re as stubborn as she is.”

“Impossible.” I grin as I swing my pack over my arm.

“It’s not fu

The way she did …

“No, but there are worse ways to go,” I say, refusing to think about Aurora, to miss her smile and her laugh and the easy way it was between us. “Come on, now.” I extend my hand a second time. “Shake and wish me luck.”

Jor grudgingly takes my hand. “Good luck.”

“And good luck to you,” I say, giving his fingers a squeeze. “You and your sister are going to do great things for this country. I truly believe it.”

“Will you at least tell her goodbye?” he asks. “I think she deserves that.”

“Why don’t you tell her goodbye for me?” I’m already moving toward the door, the thought of being forced to face down Aurora making me want to run for the stables.

I can’t see her again, I can’t or I might weaken and say yes. I might agree to marry her and spend the rest of my life jealous and angry, doubting that I’m the one she wanted, fearing she took me as her king for all the wrong reasons. It would sour me from the inside out, kill all my dreams of a happy family before they could be born. I’d rather become an animal than settle for the farce of a human life.

I don’t want to pretend to be happy anymore. I wanted the real thing. I wanted someone I could love, someone who would love me back with no lies or curses or compromises getting in the way. I can’t have that with Aurora. There are too many things standing between us. It’s best if I leave and neither of us looks back.

“Tell her I hope she’s happy with Thyne.”

“She and Thyne are friends, Niklaas,” Jor says. “They never—”

“Fine, fine. Thyne or … whoever. It doesn’t matter. Just … tell her to be happy.” I drop my gaze to the carpet, not wanting Jor to see how much it hurts to think of Aurora with someone else. “I want her to be happy enough for the both of us.”

“Niklaas, I—Niklaas, wait!” Jor calls my name a third time, but by then I am out the door and down the hall, breaking into a run toward the stables, where Alama will be waiting to leave on our last ride.

Aurora

I sprint for the stables, arriving as the master of horses is leading Button into the yard to be saddled. I silently thank Jor for sending word to get the horse ready before he came to fetch me and run faster, pushing my tired body to nearly fairy-blessed speed.

“Thank you,” I pant, snatching the bridle from the horse master’s hands.

Ignoring his startled protests, I swing onto Button bareback and urge my horse out of the yard with a dig of my heels, grateful I’m still wearing my sparring pants.

Not that it would matter, I would ride Button bareback in a dress or naked if I had to. There isn’t a second to waste. Jor said Niklaas left out the city’s main gate headed north ten minutes ago. I have to reach him before he turns off onto another road or checks into an i

“Hee-yup, go, go!” I shout, leaning low over Button’s back as he surges through the gates, his canter becoming a gallop as we leave the city.

My every muscle tenses, straining for a sign of Niklaas on the road ahead. But there is nothing, no one, only fields of freshly cut wheat and the tree-lined dirt road warming to a ribbon of rich brownish red in the light of the setting sun.

The sun is setting. If I don’t find Niklaas before it rises …

I grit my teeth and clench the reins, so angry and frantic that there is no room inside me for the despair I know I’ll feel if I fail to reach him in time.

I won’t fail, and I won’t take no for an answer, not this time. I’ll make him marry me at knifepoint if I have to.

I squint into the wind, refusing to let it bring tears to my eyes. For the first time in days, I don’t feel like crying, I feel like wrestling an insufferable fool to the ground and beating the stupidity out of him.

How dare he? How dare he leave me? How dare he throw his life away?

Deep down, I didn’t believe he’d do it. I thought he was only making me suffer until the last moment before he relented. I expected him to tell me to fetch the priest at di

But instead, he’s done this. He’s run away. Run away and left me and, by the gods, right now I hate him as much as I love him.