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Blake
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Adam 5.0 is up...which is halfway through his journey into hell.
Blake
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Jeff 7.0 is up...wherein the lumberjack and the clown and set up for their final confrontation.
Jeff
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Going way back to the begi
Jeff
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I'm reading this and laughing while I'm worrying about Randall. Together the 4 of us have created, I think, the paradigm of balancing horror and humor. I armed Randall with the ultimate hand weapon, and you, Jeff (you should add, btw, something about its awesome recoil) have used incidents from previous chapters to render it useless against Be
Paul
September 13, 2010
Paul, I'm redoing the infodump scene, trying to make it less on the nose. It begins with Clay and Sha
Did I miss something, or in the previous scene was Sha
Joe
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It didn't ring true, so I'm going to change it when we go back for fix-ups.
Paul
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It's possible there's so much info to dump that you should spread it over several Sha
Blake
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There's a scene with Sha
Paul
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Jeff 8.0 is up...The heartfelt reunion of a man and his chainsaw.
Jeff
September 14, 2010
I caught up on everyone's new chapters last night. Good shit, guys. I also added a little something to the info dump scene. Still think it needs to be broken out into the chapel scene. Maybe I'll look at that today if Joe can't get to it.
I just have to write the Adam v. Oasis scene which will end with Clayton Theel killing some draculas on the verge of breaking into the maternity ward, saving Adam et al., and I think we'll be ready to put the finale together.
My plan is to add all the new stuff to the existing manuscript once I write this last scene and have my folks meet up with Clayton. Then we can dive into the finale.
One more scene before we hit the finale, will have Randall, Jeff, Je
Who's writing the next Je
Also, should we talk start talking about who writes what for the final scenes?
Blake
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So can we get the pediatrics kids into a helicopter and off to safety? I'm all in favor of killing young children in my fiction ("With that scene in Pressure, you've just lost 35% of your audience." -- Joseph Konrath) but I think Randall needs to save these kids and a camera crew needs to see him doing it.
The plan was for him to get them out through the main entrance, but Randall has to go back because Je
Jeff
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Do it, and hells yes, save the kids. Have Randall put them on a helicopter...(so they can be sick and die in peace...love that line)...
Here's the part of Joe's outline that I agree with...
"Randall rescues her. Tearful reunion. Then they're surrounded by draculas. Randall fights off a bunch with his saw, but he's outnumbered. Gets bitten. Clay comes in with the boom boom, clears the path. Threatens to kill Randall. Je
After this, I think it changes a little. Let's have Randall getting the kids on the chopper, along with Stacie's baby, after she's killed and Adam wounded (another heartbreaking, scene...Adam saying goodbye to his daughter).
While Randall gets the kids onto the chopper, Clay and Adam go down to the room with the grenades, and we have Adam's death scene as he takes out a tons of draculas.
Back on the roof, Randall is wounded and dying. Je
WHAT IS CLAY DOING? HOW DOES THIS END FOR HIM? I'M NOT SURE IF HE'S JUMPING ONTO THE HELICOPTER SKIDS ANYMORE WITH HE ADAM GOING BACK INTO THE HOSPITAL.
Adam blows up, making meat confetti. Je
Sha
DOES CLAY SURVIVE? REUNION WITH SHANNA?
Survivor gets baby. It's Mort.
Thoughts?
Blake
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Sounds fantastic. And Randall's chainsaw and screams of "Die, draculas, die!!!" could attract the other survivors, helping to bring our group together.
Jeff
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Real suspense there, Blake -- even though I knew he'd survive.
I'm go
Paul
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Thanks, Paul, glad it clicked for you...let's shoot to have the finale set up by say Thursday, and I can then get working on assembling everything we've got so far into the manuscript. I think I know what I need to do...Jeff, Paul, can you guys have your characters (and Je
Blake
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Clay and Randall/Je
If Paul sets up the idea that Clay is going to the roof, and ends his bit with Clay on the third floor, seeing Randall put his chainsaw through a random dracula, I can take it to wherever Blake wants me to leave off.
As for POV after that, the actual "children in the helicopter" rescue needs to be Randall's POV, since it's his big moment of redemption. That scene will end with Clay pointing out that Randall has been bitten.
I think the scene with Clay threatening to shoot him should be Je
Jeff
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I think we need to bring in some of the characters perhaps seeing lights from the helicopter sweeping across the building, maybe the roadblock out in the parking lot a little earlier...I may try to work that in when I assemble everything.
Blake
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Cell phones work. Clay could call the TV station, have them land the copter.
Joe