Страница 106 из 123
The measure of a man is not only being able to admit when he's wrong, but being grateful to those who point it out.
BTW, I think all of you are consistently wrong about everything.
Joe
* * *
You spelled "Killborn" wrong on all of your books.
Jeff
* * *
You smell like cheese.
Joe
* * *
The Je
Joe
* * *
American Genocide is off to my agent...it's draculas time!
Blake
September 12, 2010
I think I'm all right with this...question tho...need to iron out the whole helicopter helping out thing. If the Army is going to blow the place, would they even allow a helicopter to go near a contaminated site. Not saying it can't happen, we just need to establish how it does.
Blake
* * *
Joe and I have been thinking that the only thing Draculas is missing are Hardy Boy/Nancy Drew-style illustrations. 5 of them, and the scenes we want to do are:
Be
Oh God. Is that a...flamingo?
the wheelchair dracula chasing Randall
Oasis getting ready to munch on Grammy A
Clayton Theel and Sha
The artist, Carl (who did the killer cover) would do these for $XXXX apparently. Any objections, suggestions?
This would be the style:
http://bookshelvesofdoom.blogs.com/.a/6a00d8345169e469e20120a7544a31970b-pi
Blake
* * *
Du
Joe
* * *
Thanks. Just finished reading Je
Jeff and Paul - read your new stuff too. bravo. Excellent work. We're hitting a really nice balance of horror and laughs. I think if we can tease out a little more suspense in the final polish this thing will be firing on all cylinders. Something truly horrific, truly scary, and truly fu
Blake
* * *
I like the scene. I think it's necessary to establish how Be
Blake
* * *
It's almost 6k words, plus it's really intense, so I think we should divide the scene up. There's so much going on at once, readers will want to check in with other characters.
* * *
Still up? I'm almost done with a 1st pass at Sha
Blake
* * *
Sha
Blake
* * *
Jeff 6.1 -- great scene -- absurd and terrifying -- and smooth segue into Clay vs Randall. I added that Randall spots Clay with a frightened looking woman, since Sha
Je
brain defibrillation -- resetting Lanz's thought processes like ECT -- very clever.
A couple of quibbles:
Randall was a rock. He was also one of the most reassuring, nurturing people she'd ever known -- this doesn't jibe with his history of drunken rampages -- doesn't sound like a guy she'd divorce. Maybe now that he's stopped drinking, she realizes he's once again the guy she fell in love with.
and the Tea Party was populated by morons. -- gratuitous and political, no? Definitely has its share of morons, but I've got some loyal readers involved in the movement (my Ron Paul contingent) and they're anything but.
Stacie 4.0 -- very moving; the turn at the end is unsettling. (I changed vernex to vernix)
Paul
* * *
Nice. A painless, concise explanation, but is it done?
"He carries the virus that makes the vaccine."
I hear Clay saying. "Vaccine? You mean like a shot?"
Paul
* * *
Re: draculas illustrations: No objections whatsoever. That sounds like a fantastic idea.
Jeff
* * *
You're right, Paul, it was political and gratuitous. I thought it spoke to her character. But I'll cut it. What's another group of people I can call stupid that won't a
As for the Randall drinking thing, good catch. I think we can compromise. I want Je
So we can have Clay arrest him at various bars around town, and have him know Je
Joe
* * *
Nice job on the infodump scene, Blake. I agree it needs to be smoothed out--it's too on the nose.
Can I take a crack at it?
Joe
* * *
You're right, Paul, it was political and gratuitous. I thought it spoke to her character. But I'll cut it. What's another group of people I can call stupid that won't a
The Klan? The Taliban?
As for the Randall drinking thing, good catch. I think we can compromise. I want Je
Sha
That could include him hitting the bars and getting arrested for fighting and drunk and disorderly. But I don't see him as the type who would ever be violent toward her, even if he has a violent streak.
So we can have Clay arrest him at various bars around town, and have him know Je
Well, I never saw him being violent to her, just breaking stuff.
How about he was a sweet guy when they married; the drink got control and brought out his dark side. She couldn't take it anymore and dumped him. It's a nice arc for her to go from thinking he's still the jerk she divorced when they meet in the ER, to slowly realize that he's been serious about sobering up and that he's back to the sweet guy she married. (Yeah, I split an infinitive - sue me.)
Paul
* * *
Yeah, that's stronger. Jeff and I can tweak his drinking problem in the rewrite, make it more of a main issue between them.
Then the fact that he cut the back of his leg could be Je
And the reason he could have begun drinking is because he felt inferior to his smarter wife.