CRAZY

“So listen… I’ve gotta get ready…” I trail off and make a face at her. “Not to kick you out or anything… buuuut...”

“I get it, I get it. You better tell me who this hot date is with.” She throws her purse on her shoulder and walks towards the door. Before I can protest her assumption, she turns and points at me. “Don’t you dare tell me it’s not a date, either, woman. There’s something… different… about you lately, and I can’t pin it, but I think it has something to do with a little relationship bloom. One day, you’ll tell me,” she smiles. “One day. Or I’ll throat punch you.”

I laugh at her insane threat.

“You’ve been practicing your threats I see.”

“I have to, with all the crazy bitches after my fiancé.” She shrugs. “I learned from the best, you know.” She wiggles her eyebrows and I roll my eyes.

“Bye, bitch,” I say, opening the door for her.

“Later, whore,” she says, slapping my ass on her way out.

Glancing at the clock by the door, I have a little over an hour before I meet Benton and Ha

After showering, shaving, primping and then trying to make it look like I didn’t primp too much for a park playdate, I head outside to make the short walk to the park. It’s the perfect day in the city for this. Su

Waiting has never been something I’m good at. My mind starts to wander, back to that night so many years ago… the night that changed my entire fucking life.

***

“Jesus fucking Christ, Gabby! Slow the fuck down! You’re going to kill us all!” Jordan yells from the back seat. “Mother fucking cunt, and this stupid goddamned child won’t shut up!” I realize the baby won’t stop screaming, and he’s doing nothing to make it better. If anything, yelling like that at me, and cursing at me, is only making it worse.

“Babe, can you please give him his binky back?” I ask, as calmly as I can without flipping out on his ass. I’m fairly certain he’s high, so fighting with him is pointless right now. I’m pissed that he got in the car with me, I’m pissed I can’t get away from him, and I’m pissed that I have to deal with this the rest of my life.

“Fuck that, this kid needs to learn how to cope,” he growls, pissing me off even more. He’s a two-month-old baby, not a ten year old!

“Jordan, please,” I sigh, holding a binky out to the back seat for him.

“Fuck, no! Turn this mother fucking car around and go home, Gabby!” He’s screaming, the baby is still screaming, and, when Jordan hits the binky out of my hand, I lose it.

“Fuck you, Jordan!” I swerve the car to the side of the road to kick him out.

Then, everything goes black.

***

“Gabby!” Benton’s voice comes from behind me, and I take a few calming breaths. Typically, a flashback to that night would set off a reaction of attacks and more flashbacks, but with everything rolling through my system today, I’m so relaxed it’s almost scary. Standing to greet him, I smile my perfected smile and walk towards him.

“Hey,” he kisses me gently, then backs away, and looks down at his little girl in the stroller.

“Gabby, this-” He motions. “Is Ha

Don’t fuck this up, Gabby.

“Hey, Ha

Her face lights up at the mention of a swing, and she starts trying to get out of her stroller straps, getting madder and madder by the minute. Benton chuckles and comes behind me, gently unsnapping her and lifting her up. He goes to hand her to me, since she still doesn’t walk, but I guess the scared look on my face has him second guessing.

“Okay,” he laughs. “One step at a time, right?”

I laugh nervously, pissed that I let my fear shine through. I need to seem comfortable with her. I need to not let the fear of hurting her come out. I’ll be okay. We can do this for a few hours then I’ll be able to go home, to the safety of my apartment, where I can’t hurt anyone but myself.

While in the swing, Ha

Let’s just amp that sexy up a few more notches, why don’t we?

After two hours of sliding, swinging, laughing and playing, Ha

“So, we’re going to head back home, I guess,” Benton says, shoving his hands in his pockets after securing Ha

After smiling and nodding, he answers the call and his face immediately falls. I’ve seen that look before. Oh god, I know that look on him.

“Gab, can you just…” He flicks his eyes from me to Ha

“Shh,” I say to Ha

I remember seeing that look so many times over the years that I’ve grown used to it.

It’s a look that haunts my dreams at night.

He hangs up shortly after, and takes a moment to compose himself. Whatever that phone call was about, it wasn’t good. Taking a breath, he rubs his hands down his face before standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. His walk back to me is slow and deliberate, like he’s putting all his effort into bringing his body to us.

“Hey,” I whisper when he reaches us. One hand still on the stroller, I reach out to touch his cheek and he turns his face into my touch. “What’s up?”

He groans and takes my hand in his, moving it to his mouth to kiss it before locking his deep brown, stormy eyes on mine. The pain in his face tells me it definitely wasn’t a phone call just to say ‘hi’. Something happened. Something bad happened. Everything starts ru