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Francis nodded. “I do.”
“And now by the powers vested in me, I declare this man and this woman lawfully—”
“Now, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” said a voice from behind the group. Ruby’s heart sank. It was Miss Information.
Everyone turned to see who had caused the ruckus, and a collective gasp erupted from the crowd when they saw her mask and gang of misfits. The scarecrow in the tuxedo didn’t help, either.
“Isn’t there supposed to be a part where you ask if anyone objects?” Miss Information said. “’Cause I really do object.”
“Listen, lady, this is a private function,” Grandma Rose said. “So why don’t you take it down the beach?”
“Yeah, what kind of lunatic just walks up to a wedding and causes trouble?” Aunt Suzi shouted.
“Are you crazy?” Uncle Kevin cried.
“I’M NOT CRAZY!” Miss Information roared.
Ruby, Brand, and Heathcliff stepped forward.
“These people are i
“Hey, kid, thanks for the help, but we don’t need it. No one messes with the Peet family,” Uncle Eddie shouted. “We’re from Boston!”
“Or the Kaplans,” Grandma Tina cried, “representing Long Island!”
“Your feeble posturing doesn’t impress me, folks,” Miss Information said. “Unless you people want to get hurt, I suggest you call this wedding off and go home.”
“Get her!” Grandpa Saul shouted.
Much to Ruby’s surprise, the entire wedding party rushed at Miss Information and the goons. They tossed full bottles of wine and swatted at the intruders with umbrellas. Grandma Rose beat Snot Rocket with one of her shoes. Uncle Jeff shoved a bouquet of flowers into Funk’s mouth. Miss Information backed toward the surf, dodging flying plates and trays of cookies.
“Do you think you can come here and cause trouble and get away with it?” Aunt Dely
Just when things couldn’t get worse for the thugs, the sky opened up and rain fell down in sheets, soaking everyone but not quenching the family’s anger. In the storm, the villains stumbled back. Thor slipped and fell in the wet sand.
“Well, I have to admit, I didn’t see this coming,” Ruby said as she stood back and watched the mob attack their enemy.
“I don’t know who the world has to fear more: Miss Information or your family,” Heathcliff said.
Miss Information tried to dodge a flying purse. As she struggled to stay upright, she accidentally dropped Alex, and the waves dragged the scarecrow out to sea.
“Alex!” she cried. “Don’t leave me! What use is ruling the world without the man I love by my side?”
The strange dummy sank beneath the water and disappeared.
Snot Rocket whined, “I can’t see a foot in front of me.”
Aunt Laura hit him with a bouquet of flowers, followed by an enthusiastic punch.
“What are we doing here?” Funk asked Miss Information. “Are you just sending us from one time to the next so we can feel what it’s like to get beaten up in different eras?”
Thor grunted angrily.
“You ungrateful little toads!” Miss Information said, fighting off Grandma Tina. “I turned you kids into gods, and you haven’t stopped boohooing for a second. When we get back, you’re all going into the tiger cage.”
“Then I quit!” Loudmouth shouted, and without a word she jumped into the ball pit and vanished.
Ruby was soaked, and her wet, poofy hair fell into her eyes. “Heathcliff, I can’t see a thing. What’s happening?”
“They’re all abandoning her,” Brand replied. “I just saw Snot Rocket and Funk use the time machine. Heathcliff, you need to stop them. Ruby and I will stay here and stop Lisa.”
“Um, reminder here! I don’t have any powers,” Heathcliff cried.
“But you’re one of us,” Ruby said. “Do the best you can!”
Heathcliff took a moment to muster all his courage, and then he sprinted through the mob and leaped into the ball pit.
Miss Information stood her ground. “Benjy, how about a hand?” she shouted.
“I’m afraid I do not have hands,” Benjy said. “But I will do my best.”
The little orb darted into action, floating above the crowd and firing tiny blasts of electricity at everyone.
“Why would she do this?” Sarah cried into Francis’s arms. “She ruined everything.”
“No, she hasn’t,” Ruby said to her mother. “If you want to be in this family, you have to have an appetite for chaos.”
Francis laughed. “You know—she’s right.”
Sarah gri
“Not yet,” Ruby said.
“C’mon,” Brand shouted. He raced into the crowd and Ruby followed. She watched as he got beneath the robot orb Miss Information called Benjy. He swung his cane at it, attracting two nasty bolts of electricity just before he co
“Nice shot, boss,” Ruby said.
“Yeah, did you ever play any baseball?”
Ruby turned to see who owned the voice and found Jackson, Matilda, Flinch, and Duncan standing behind her.
“You’re back!” she said, pulling them all into a group hug.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I’m pretty sure this hug is weird,” Matilda said.
“We’ll explain later,” Brand said. He pointed at Miss Information, who was crawling into the ball pit and disappearing. “She’s given up on you, Ruby, but she’s off to cause trouble somewhere else.”
“We’ve got to go after her,” Matilda said. “It feels like I haven’t socked someone in the jaw in like forever.”
“No. Heathcliff needs you. Figure out where he went and stop the BULLIES,” Brand commanded as he walked to the pit. “I’ll go after her.”
“But—” Ruby said.
“That’s an order,” Brand said as he climbed into the time machine. A moment later he was gone.
“What are we doing back here?” Funk asked as Snot Rocket led them through the empty corridors of Miss Information’s lair.
“It’s a week before we first left the time stream. The boss abandoned us, Tessa betrayed us, and I’m tired of getting my butt kicked by a bunch of nerds. If they come looking for us, they’re going to regret it,” Snot Rocket cried.
When they got to the upgrade room, he pressed the button to open the door and dragged the others inside with him. A moment later, the door closed and a bank of laser lights sca
“Didn’t we already do this?” Loudmouth cried. “It hurt like the dickens.”
“We’re doing it again. If it made us strong the first time, imagine what it will do to us when we go back for seconds,” Snot Rocket said. “We’ll be unstoppable.”
“SCANNING FOR STRENGTHS,” an electronic voice said. “ENHANCEMENTS AVAILABLE INITIATE UPGRADE?”
“Do your worst!” Funk shouted.
The needles and tubes dropped down around them.
Heathcliff emerged from the ball pit inside Miss Information’s lair. He figured by now there must be ball pits all over the timeline. He’d have to remember to deactivate them all when he returned to his original time. If he returned. He hoped Ruby and Brand would come find him when they were finished with their timeline. It would be no fun living a life where he was a week behind himself.
He heard the BULLIES’ footsteps echoing down a hall and so he followed them, catching up just as they entered the upgrade room. The metal door closed tight, sealing them inside. He shuddered at what he knew was coming next. Upgrade rooms granted incredible powers. No one, however, had ever gotten a double dose of nanobytes. He dreaded finding out how it would change the BULLIES. He also knew there was nothing he could do to stop them. The door was locked, and even shutting off the power wouldn’t stop the upgrade process.