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“Benjy, where did I put my time machine?”
“I observed Ms. Lipton stealing it several minutes ago. I’m afraid it is gone,” the orb clicked.
“Oh, poo!” she said. “Wait! How did this man get here?”
The orb spun around in midair. “My sensors are detecting trace elements of temporal radiation within twenty yards,” it said. “It could be used in a time travel device.”
“Benjy? Do you see that up ahead in the middle of the road?”
“It appears to be a pool of colored plastic balls,” the robot said. “The nuclear signature is emanating from it.”
Miss Information smiled. “Benjy, do you have a date for Ms. Peet?”
“June 14, 1996. On that day, Francis Peet and his fiancée, Sarah Kaplan, married in a beach community called Fair Harbor, part of the Fire Island region of Long Island.”
“Let’s go crash a wedding!”
TOP SECRET DOSSIER
CODE NAME: DUDEBOT
REAL NAME: 45X ATTACK DROID
ACTIVE: 1987
CURRENT OCCUPATION: DEACTIVATED
HISTORY: 45X WAS THE CREATION OF THE
EVIL MASTERMIND HENRY SINISTER. IT
MALFUNCTIONED DURING A BATTLE WITH
THE NERDS IN 1987. WHILE ATTEMPTING
TO REACTIVATE ITS MEMORY BANK,
AGENT BOOKWORM SPILLED A BOTTLE
OF HAWAIIAN PUNCH INTO ITS CIRCUITS
AND THE FORMER KILLER ROBOT BECAME
DUDEBOT, THE PARTY DROID. DUDEBOT
LOVED ALL THINGS SUN, SURF, AND
SIESTA AND WAS KNOWN FOR LISTENING
TO JIMMY BUFFETT RECORDS NONSTOP.
THAT, COUPLED WITH HIS ENDLESS USE
OF “DUDE,” “BRO,” AND “PARTY ON!”
EVENTUALLY ANNOYED HIS
TEAMMATES, WHO DEACTIVATED
HIM WITH A BASEBALL BAT.
UPGRADE: OTHER THAN HIS ABILITY
TO ANNOY PEOPLE WITH HIS STUPID
CATCHPHRASES AND SINGING OF
THE SONG “CHEESEBURGER IN
PARADISE,” DUDEBOT HAD
NO REAL POWERS.
Ruby watched as the BULLIES retreated. Luckily, they’d backed off just as the NERDS were about to lose the fight. Her team from 1977 hooted and hollered. They had their first mission under their belts. She found Heathcliff in the crowd, and together they located Agent Brand, who was lying on the ground, unconscious. The children shook him until his eyes opened and then helped him to his feet.
“That woman’s got a serious left hook,” he said, rubbing his temple.
“She knocked you out again? This is starting to become a habit,” Ruby said.
Brand frowned. “Where’d they go?”
“I have a bad feeling she went there,” Heathcliff said, pointing toward their time machine.
“That’s not good!” Ruby shouted as she tore off toward the pit. The NERDS and Heathcliff sprinted after her.
“I’m sorry,” Rupert cried. “Those weirdos just got up and ran off. I thought they were trying to save themselves from more butt-kicking. I didn’t think they were going to use our time machine.”
“It’s not your fault. You guys did a great job,” Brand said.
“Where do you think they went?” Ruby asked as Heathcliff pressed buttons on the control panel.
“According to the log they went to some beach on Long Island,” Heathcliff said.
Ruby grabbed him by the collar. “What day?”
“June 14, 1996.”
Ruby felt like someone had just sucker punched her in the gut. “That’s the day my parents got married! She’s going to try and stop the wedding.”
“Let’s go,” Brand said. He snatched the controls from Heathcliff, pressed some buttons, and leaped into the pit. A second later he was gone.
“We’ll go with you, too,” Rupert said.
“No,” Ruby said. “If they beat us, they’ll come for you next. Go back to your time and get ready for her to show up. If she stops you, the NERDS will never happen.”
“Do you think we’re ready?” Static Cling asked.
Ruby nodded. “More than ready.”
Heathcliff climbed into the pit. “Pretty awesome to meet you,” he said to the NERDS, then sank below the balls. Ruby was next.
“Good luck,” Rupert said.
“You too,” Ruby said as she vanished from 1987.
She found Heathcliff and Agent Brand waiting for her on a wooden dock that looked out over a bay. There was a small receiving building, a tiny fire station, and a playground in the distance. A couple kids on bicycles raced each other, and the sky was a dark gray with low-hanging clouds threatening rain.
“Have you seen them?” she asked.
Brand shook his head. “No sign of them at all.”
Heathcliff turned to one of the kids on a bike. “Hey, did you see a woman in a skull mask and four kids come past here?”
The kid screeched to a halt. “Hard to miss! They were headed for the beach.”
He pointed down a pathway in between some cottages and dense patches of trees.
“C’mon,” Ruby said, rushing down the path, which was nothing more than wooden planks stuck in the sand. The houses that lined the boardwalk were quaint summer rentals with names like Ferryport Landing and Land Ho! Her parents often talked about Fair Harbor. It was one of her family’s favorite vacation places. Her home was lined with pictures of them on the beach, building drip castles, and eating lactose-free ice cream cones.
The island was less than three-quarters of a mile wide so Ruby, Heathcliff, and Brand soon arrived at a sandy beach. The salty Atlantic air pinched Ruby’s nose and the crash of the surf filled her ears. Not more than ten yards away stood her mother and father, both young, and wildly in love. Sarah wore a long lacy white dress and had flowers in her hair. Her father was in an old-fashioned three-button suit and had his pant legs rolled up to his knees. Neither of them wore shoes. They were surrounded by family. She spotted Grandpa Saul, Aunt Laura, Uncle Eddie, Uncle Jeff, and the rest. There were no chairs, so they gathered around the happy couple while a man in a white suit read passages from a book titled The Velveteen Rabbit. Oddly enough, no one was arguing. In fact, she saw smiles on all of their faces. Her big, chaotic, bickering family was actually getting along.
“Where is she?” Heathcliff whispered.
“I have no idea,” Brand said.
“What’s the plan?” Heathcliff asked.
“Let’s mingle,” Ruby said. “If the BULLIES attack, at least we’ll be where the action is.”
The trio crept onto the beach and joined the crowd, smiling at people and acting as if they belonged.
“Sarah Kaplan, do you, before friends and family, give yourself to this man, Francis Peet, to be his lawfully wedded wife as witnessed by this gathering and heaven above?”
Sarah’s smile was blinding. “I do.”
“Francis Peet, do you, before friends and family, give yourself to this woman, Sarah Kaplan, to be her lawfully wedded husband as witnessed by this gathering and heaven above?”