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“She came to Beaumont and saw me, pregnant. She’s done so much to us and can’t even pay for the hurt. She lied to you, and you didn’t even know it.”
“Sam was a manipulator, and she was good at it.”
Josie moves to the small sofa and sits down. I sit across from her, next to the window. “I can’t change the past, Josie. I can only promise you that the things I did, I’ll never do again. I would never disrespect you or our marriage.”
“You did it tonight, though, and you know it.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t. You saw an act. It’s no different than a music video or a movie. I put on a good show, but you’re always the one on my mind. When I was singing with Layla tonight, I was picturing you. It’s how I get through my days. Hell, it’s always been like that.”
I crawl over to her, determined to hold her. I part her knees and settle in between them. “You’re my life, Jojo. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved. I told you that I’d marry you some day; I just never specified how long it would take for that day to arrive. But, clearly, I’m good for my word. You know that.”
Josie leans forward and places her lips on top of my head. I should tell her not to since I’ve sweated like a pig on stage, but I can’t interrupt the moment.
“I have a few things to tell you.”
“As long as you’re not asking me for a divorce, you can tell me anything.”
Her fingers trail down the side of my face, a look of apprehension on her face. Right now all I want to do is pick her up and comfort her and then make love to her.
“Sam never sold your grandmother’s house. I believe you still own it.”
This should shock me, but it doesn’t. I kiss the palm of her hand and smile. “I had a feeling. I went by there the other day and the neighbor said the same family still owns the house. Can I take you there tomorrow?”
“Maybe. Have you ever taken anyone else there?”
I shake my head. “Just Harrison and Yvie.”
“Okay. The next thing I have to tell you – and this one is hard, so bear with me – is that Aubrey called the other night to inform us that Meredith is keeping the baby. I thought I’d be sad, but I wasn’t. The more I thought about it, the more I saw it as a sign as we weren’t ready to adopt.”
I try not to let my pain show on face. I know how badly she wanted this baby... hell, I did too... and for him to be ripped away from us is hard to grasp. “We can try another agency, or do that drug shit your doctor was talking about.”
“No, we can’t, because tomorrow I have an appointment at the hospital for an ultrasound. According to my doctor, I’m eighteen weeks pregnant!”
If ever there is a moment that I needed to capture – this is it. Unfortunately, pulling out my cell phone to take his picture doesn’t seem like the right thing to do.
This is the expression I’ve been waiting for. There’s a gleam in his eyes that lights up his entire face. He looks shocked but elated, maybe even proud of himself. His eyes roam all over me, from my face to my stomach and back up again, even stopping to check out my boobs.
He grips my sides as a wide smile of understanding slowly appears on his face. “Say it again.”
“Which part?” I ask, knowing full well what he’s referring to.
“The part where you said I finally knocked you up.”
“I don’t think those were my exact words. I think I said something along the lines of: I’m eighteen weeks pregnant according to my doctor.”
When you know someone as long as I’ve known Liam, you can tell when he or she thinking hard. Case in point was when I was with Katelyn at the park. She was telling me I’m pregnant, while I was simultaneously denying it and calculating in my head when my last cycle was. Katelyn knew exactly what I was doing, just as I know exactly that Liam is thinking now.
“How is this possible?”
“Well, when a man and woman have unprotected –”
He silences me with his lips, then his tongue. He deepens the kiss, pulling me to the edge of the sofa. “I know how, Jojo. I was a very willing participant. What I mean is, months ago we stopped trying and started looking into adoption. This means you were already pregnant, which also means that the last round of pregnancy tests were wrong. And don’t take this the wrong way, but why aren’t you puking your guts out like Je
“I never had morning sickness with Noah. As for the tests, I’m not sure. I saw my doctor earlier today, and she said sometimes, with stress, the body doesn’t send the normal indicators.”
“If you didn’t know you were pregnant, is the baby okay?”
One night, I caught Liam reading one of my pregnancy books. He was on the chapter about miscarriages and stillborn babies. We didn’t talk about it, but I knew it had touched him profoundly.
“I don’t know. In my heart, I feel like the baby is fine. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I feel pregnant. Katelyn even told me I was fat. This morning at the park, my best friend looked me in the eyes and told me I’m either pregnant or Xander has a lot of work to do.” I laugh and cry at the same time because while I love Katelyn, she was mean today, but in a good way.
“You’re not fat.”
“I will be.”
Liam shakes his head. “I read in one of your books that you can still work out and do yoga to stay in shape and that it’s healthy for you and the baby. If you’re thinking about how I’ll see you - because I know you’re comparing yourself to those women you saw tonight – then you have nothing to worry about. From the time I was fifteen I’ve thought you to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. The fact that you’re carrying our child only intensifies that thought. Tell me what happens tomorrow.”
He pushes a few pieces of fallen hair behind my ear and lets his hand fall down the front of my shirt, palming my boob in the process. He makes no bones about the groping action, just smiles like it’s no big deal.
“In the morning I have to go to the hospital to have an ultrasound done. The doctor wanted to do it right away, but I couldn’t do it without you.”
“Thank you for waiting.” He leans in and kisses me softly on the lips. It’s too soon when he pulls away, leaving me longing for more.
“We have a lot more to talk about, like how you went against my wishes and read that book, as well as what happened with Meredith.”
“Like how I saw you smoking on stage?”
“Touché. In my defense, I was pretty drunk because I had to perform with Layla. I didn’t want to do it because I didn’t know how to explain it to you. You also have a voicemail from me that probably doesn’t make sense.”
“It didn’t, but I get it now... sort of,” I pause, giving some thought to what I’m going to say. “Liam, we need to find a happy medium. I don’t want to be one of those wives who question everything that she sees or hears. It’s not fair to you. I’m having trouble letting go of the past even though for most of it, I wasn’t even involved. I’m afraid I’m not enough for you and that’s not because of something you’re doing wrong –”
“Jojo, you’ve got to trust me,” he says, cutting me off. “You’ve got to accept that I’m not walking away from you or Noah, ever.” He pleads with me. He’s right. I need to get over whatever it is that I’m feeling. I shouldn’t be insecure in my relationship with him.
“I’m sorry for making things harder.” I realize it’s too late to take back what I just said. His expression has changed.
“Want me to show you hard?”
I roll my eyes and bury myself in his neck. This is home for me, wherever he’s at. He picks me up and carries me to his bedroom. The last time I was in his penthouse, I could only imagine what his room looked like.
He carries me straight to the en suite, setting me down on the vanity. When he steps away, he lifts his shirt, gracing me with his beautifully defined chest. My name is like a beacon screaming at me, telling me that everyone who saw him like this knew my name. When he steps toward me, my hands grab for him. His eyes close as my fingers trail over his chest. He lifts my shirt and unclasps my bra, causing me to break contact with him.