Affliction

“Are you okay, baby?” Sy turns to face me as we step back, letting them have their space.

“Yeah,” I say, shocked at what we just witnessed. “I love you, Sy. You did amazing,” I say through tears, listening to the sound of their baby’s crying.

“It’s a girl,” Kadence exclaims. “We have a baby girl, Nix.”

“Fuck me,” Nix curses, causing us all to laugh.

Sy

“You freaked the fuck out, Nix.” I hear Jesse accuse as we walk into the hospital room. After the EMTs took Kadence and Nix to the hospital, we stayed back, cleaned up and saw everyone off. I don’t know what Holly’s thinking; we’ve both been lost in our own thoughts, but after an experience like that, I know I'm sure as fuck ready to hold our child in my arms and watch him take his first breath.

“You’re here.” Kadence notices us first. She sits up in her hospital bed a little taller.

“Hey,” Holly greets her from next to me. “We had to clean up,” she says, leaning down to kiss her. “How are you?” Holly pulls back.

“Good, feeling great,” Kadence smiles and then turns her gaze to me. “Hey,” she looks nervous for a second, and I realize I just delivered her baby. She might be feeling uncomfortable. I look up at Jesse and Beau, nodding at them to give us a minute.

“Come on, Z. Let's go get something to eat.” They take him out, leaving us alone.

“You saved me again,” she says when they leave us, and it almost chokes me up. Who knew these people would become my family?

“No big deal,” I say, trying to shrug it off when in reality, it feels fucking good.

“It is a big deal to me,” she whispers, looking down at her daughter. “Would you like to hold Harlow?” she asks, smiling. Their little girl’s name is sweet and beautiful. She draws me in closer to the bed.

“Harlow?” Holly asks, smiling down at her.

“Yeah,” Kadence softly replies. Lifting the small baby up, she hands her over to me, and for a minute I panic, not remembering how to hold a baby.

“You can’t hurt her,” Kadence says, placing her in my arms then moving away. Taking a step back, I look down at the little girl, her milky soft skin and dark hair reminding me a little of Keira.

“She’s beautiful,” I say truthfully, looking at Holly and seeing the same sort of emotions flick over her face. We’ve both seen so much pain and loss in our past; it makes today even more emotional.

“Just like her momma,” Nix says, leaning down to kiss Kadence’s forehead.

“You want to hold her?” I look up and watch Holly wipe a stray tear away. I want to comfort her, help her through this, but the perfect little baby in my arms makes it difficult.

“Yeah,” she sniffs, sitting on the end of the bed and holding out her arms. Carefully, I place baby Harlow in her arms and step back, letting her have their own special moment.

“We wanted to ask you something,” Kadence says, sitting up and reaching out, ru

“Oh, my God. Yes, of course,” Holly squeals in delight, stirring Harlow for a second. “Oh, sorry, sweet girl,” she coos her back to sleep with a soft rock, while I watch on in awe of her.

“Sy?” Kadence asks when I don’t respond.

I smile at the thought, the poor girl not only has a badass daddy, but she has me and a whole clubhouse full of men ready to protect her.

“As long as you guys return the honor for our boy,” I say, giving our own secret away. I don’t care if they know. It's Holly who wanted to ask them later, but now seems like a good enough time.

“You’re having a boy?” Kadence squeals this time, then starts crying all over the place.

“Yeah,” Holly replies, giving me a stare. “We were keeping it under wraps, but looks like Harlow already has Sy wrapped around her little finger.” She looks at me accusingly.

“Not as much as you do,” I tell her, leaning down to give her a light kiss.

“Smooth,” Holly whispers, pulling back.

“Congrats, brother.” Nix comes forward and embraces me.

“You, too.” I slap his back twice before moving away.

“We would love to, guys,” Kadence says, wiping at her face.

“Okay, now, get the fuck out of here. My wife and baby girl need sleep.” He takes Harlow out of Holly's arms and orders us out.

“Nix.” Kadence scowls but we can see how exhausted she looks. Taking Holly’s hand, we say our goodbyes and leave them with promises to celebrate when Kadence and Harlow are released.

“You did good in there,” I tell Holly when we walk out hand in hand down the hospital corridor and back to the car.

“So did you,” she replies.

“This will be us in a couple more months. Are you ready?” She asks the big question that weighs on my mind. Am I ready? I want to say yes, that I handled holding Harlow and didn’t freak out, but the truth is, I know it's going to be a whole lot different when our own baby comes.

“More than fucking ready.” I pull her against me, lean down, and kiss her.

“I love you, Sy. Love you more than anything.”

And I believe her because I feel the same way. She chased away my darkness allowing me to absorb her special kind of sunshine. Without her love, I wouldn’t have been able to step out of the dark and see the possibility of a future. A future where the sun only shines brightly.

COMING EARLY 2015

Jesse’s Story

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Can you believe this is the second acknowledgements page? Crazytown.

Alissa Evanson-Smith: Whore… Yes, I just called you are a whore in my book. What can I say that you don’t already know? It’s been twelve months of friendship, and what a twelve months it has been. I wish more than anything I could just jump on a plane and bring you home with me. Why do you have to be so awesome? You are amazing, beautiful, kind, smart, fu

Bel Burgess: Wow, you saved me, saved me something huge, Bel. You are talented. You are humble and you know your shit. I love you. I love your passion, your words, and your help. I can’t begin to imagine where this book would be without you. I love working with you.

Cassia Brightmore: Lady you are so amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me out in my time of need. Bring on Cleveland my friend.

Gillian Grybas: Gilly Gilly Gilly. I SOLO love you so much! You make me smile. Thank you for loving Sy and Holly SOLO much. Bring on the next one, yeah?

My C.O.W.s- Alissa, Ash, Jess and Bel: this journey has been crazy this time around, now that I’m a real author. But I have always come back to our group. I’ll never stop. I DUCKING love you all… Quack!

This Group Needs A Fucking Name: When I started this group, I had no idea how important it would be for me to finish this book. You have all embraced each other, helped each other, laughed at each other and encouraged each other. When I think about my author friends, I think of you all. I’m so happy I have you on my side and think the world of you all.

Thank you to my lovely beta readers: Cassia, Gilly, Melinda, Tammie, Je

It’s been a crazy ride. Thank you for loving their story, and get ready for Jesse. I hope he is kinder to me.

Max Henry: Dude… Formatting and blurb shout out to you. You are so talented and so amazing. I love you, lady, hard. I’m inspired by you, by your words and I love your loyalty. Never change.